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just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!!!!! GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
THOMAS KINKADE!!!!!!!
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FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The Mcdonalds corperation buckled under threats of class action lawsuits from a number
of "green peace" and like minded environmental groups such as The Sierra club,
PETA and several others. Spearheaded by the ACLU, the lawsuit accuses the mega
fast food chain of being unfriendly towards the environment. The lawsuit says that the
wrappers and containers that the chain uses is polluting the natural environment. So, Mcdonalds has promised changes in its marketing strategies in order to settle out of court....
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
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THE COMICS
a new twist to Cynderella
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m040. html Summer vacation
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m041. html when I have had too much
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m042. html I hate to tell you...
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m043. html The atm mixup
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m044. html what's she doing?
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m045. html redneck wedding
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m046. html Johnnie peed the bed
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m047. html the blind man
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m048. html what the doctor said
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m049. html the tooth fairy
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/m050. html
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THE MOVIES
worlds greatest pizza maker
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies813 .html what a 30 millimeter does
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies814 .html the dinner party
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Jerry's at the urinal in an airport rest room, then a guy with no arms sidles up next to him and pleads,"Hey buddy -- can you help me out here?" Though he feels uneasy, he considers the guy's predicament and decides to help.
He bravely unzips the man, takes a deep breath, reaches in and pulls out the guy's penis.Much to his horror, it is hideous!. It's moldy and bluish green, covered with pus-filled scabs, and it reeks something awful.
Imagining the kudos he'll get on Judgment Day for this selfless good deed, Jerry holds
the man's unit while he finishes urinating, shakes it, then puts it back in the man's
pants and zips him up.The guy tells Jerry, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
"No problem," says Jerry. "But I gotta ask - What the hell's wrong with your dick?"
The guy pokes his arms back out of his sleeves and says,"I don't know, but I sure as hell ain't touching it."
_________________ A man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor
comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a condition
which only allows you another 6 weeks to live."
"But Doctor," Bill replied. "I feel great. I haven't felt better in years. This can't be true. Isn't there anything I can do?"After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start going down the street to that new health spa and take a mud bath every day."Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?""No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt."
______________ A little girl was staring out her bedroom window, watching two dogs going at it doggy-style in the street. In curiosity she called for her father to explain what they were doing...Her father entered the room and asked what was wrong. The girl then said, "Father what are those two dogs doing?" The father hesitantly replied, "Why, one of the dogs got hurt, and the other is helping it to an animal hospital."
The girl jumped to her feet and said, "It's just like with humans, daddy, you try to help someone and you get fucked!"
________________ A knockout blonde with a fine set of knockers complains to the doctor, "I believe I am losing my mind. I can't remember ANYTHING after five minutes!" The doctor answers, in his most comforting tone, "Just take off all your clothes, miss, and lie down..."
_____________ The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?""OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call
your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.And then they made love for the first time.Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed,smiling with satisfaction.Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."After the second time they spent, they guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a
suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!"
______________ During the National Spelling Bee recently in the nation's capital,Islamic spectators became outraged upon discovering that the USA was embedded in the middle of Jerusalem, Israel's holiest city.The revelation was made by Douglas Levin, an eighth grader at the Joseph Lieberman Day School in Rockville Center, Md.
When young Levin was asked to spell the word Jerusalem, he replied:....J E R- USA - L E M An audible gasp sounded from Muslim onlookers, who realized for the first time a USA presence in the holy city. Muslim parents immediately protested the spelling contest, citing American bias toward Israel.'It's a clear violation of church and state,' said Mohammed Ahlee, lobbyist for the Arab group Holy Shiite. Bee officials quickly denied any wrongdoing, asserting that the Muslims
were merely disgruntled because Rajeed Raheed, a seventh grader from Al Kaydah Junior High, had been eliminated earlier for misspelling Afghanistan as Afghanustan.'There is no 'A-N-U-S' in the middle of Afghanistan,' said one bee official, 'unless you believe bin Laden is still hiding there. BUFFALO'S
MoviesScratch Ticket
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 030305.htm LAB LAUGHSWhat Is A Bitch
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20041113 Not Burger King
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20041114 Another use for a belly button
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20041124 New Monopoly Chance cards
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20041116 THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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