[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
 
 

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Happy Thanksgiving!
Estimates vary, but an average, traditional Thanksgiving meal is around 3,000 calories!
To put it into perspective, the recommended daily calorie intake for an average-sized adult
should be between 1,600 and 2,400.
And in order to burn off 3,000 calories, one would have to walk 30 miles or swim for five hours or run for about four hours.
We want to introduce you to lighter and healthier recipes for your Thanksgiving meal so that you can enjoy the holiday with your family and friends without worrying about packing on extra pounds.
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The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and then his old pickup truck refused to start.
 
While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
 
Afterward, he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
 
"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
 
"The funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
 
Everybody needs a trouble tree.. 



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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman


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THE COMICS

an incentive plan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l031.html
 
 
a test of the emergency broadcast system....
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anti porn...viewpoint from the 60s
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies750.html
 
 
 
 
 
__________________


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At their high school reunion Sarah and Esther meet up for the first time in fifty years. Sarah begins to tell Esther about her children: "My
son is a doctor and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about
your kids?" Esther replies, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and
so we have no grandchildren either."
Sarah says, "No children and no grandchildren! So tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?"
______________
 
Myrddin had gotten a part time job at the Post Office and the supervisor there had been warned that he was somewhat of a dullard, but
the supervisor took a liking to him and agreed to let Myrddin help him. If nothing else, he would be an extra set of hands. The supervisor gives Myrddin the job of sorting, and much to everyone's surprise, Myrddin separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Myrddin at the end of the day.
"I just want you to know," he said, "that we're all very proud of you. You're one of the fastest workers we have ever had." "Thank you," said Myrddin, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do better?"   Myrddin replied, "Tomorrow I am going to read the addresses."
________________
 
A guy was driving down a deserted road when he accidentally hit a pig. Nobody saw him do it so he kept on driving. A little ways on a policeman stopped the car. "I'm arresting you for leaving the scene of an accident".
"How did you know?" the man asked.
"The pig squealed, sir."
_____________
 
A New York judge is presiding over the divorce proceedings of a Jewish couple. When the final papers have been signed and the divorce is complete the woman thanks the judge and
says "Now I have to arrange for a GHET".
The judge inquires what she means by a Ghet. So, the woman explains that a Ghet is a religious ceremony required under the Jewish religion in order to receive a divorce
recognized by the Jewish faith. The judge says, "You mean a religious ceremony like a Bris?"
(Circumcision) She replies. "Yes, very similar, only in this case you get rid of the enitire rick!"
______________
 
THE MICROSOFT CAFE
 
Customer: Waiter!
 
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
 
Customer: There's a fly in my soup!
 
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
 
Customer: No, it's still there.
 
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
 
Customer: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
 
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
 
Customer: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
 
Customer: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?
 
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
 
Customer: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
 
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
 
Customer: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
 
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
 
Customer: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
 
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
 
Customer: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.
 
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
 
Customer: This is potato soup.
 
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
 
Customer: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[Waiter leaves.]
 
Customer: Waiter! Now there's a mosquito in my soup!
 
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $ 2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10.00
Editors Note: Bug in the soup........included at no extra charge (will be fixed with Tomorrow's soup of the day)
____________________
 
Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural south Mississippi on the opening day of deer season. They both saw a trophy-class buck meandering towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer was long gone. The other hunter exclaimed 'Wow! That was the most sportsmanlike act I've ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such respect toward someone's dearly departed. You are a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!' The first hunter nodded and said; "Well, we were married for 42 years."
 
Buffalo's
Movies
 
 
 
LAB LAUGHS
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
HAve a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
 








 

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