Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Superseid sent the following yesterday.
I think this says it all.....
"I now know why men who have been to war yearn to reunite. Not to
tell stories or look at old pictures. Not to laugh or weep. Comrades
gather because they long to be with the men who once acted at their
best; men who suffered and sacrificed, who were stripped of their
humanity. I did not pick these men. They were delivered by fate and
the military. But I know them in a way I know no other men. I have
never given anyone such trust. They were willing to guard something
more precious than my life. They would have carried my reputation,
the memory of me. It was part of the bargain we all made, the reason
we were so willing to die for one another. As long as I have my
memory, I will think of them all, every day. I am sure that when I
leave this world, my last thought will be of my family and my
comrades. Ahhh Such good men."
from "These Good Men" by Michael Norman
buffalo says I think we have all expressed and
valued the trust we put in the hands of our
comrades, no matter what the service.
I have been receiving emails lately with the
subject " Today's the day to Multiply ". I won't
get into what my first thoughts were when I see a
line like that but it turned out to be one of the
dozens of sites that once you have joined sends
invitations to everyone in your address book
and then pesters them everytime you have a
friend join or you make a entry on your blog.
I truly don't have the time to spend on the influx
of mail they generate, so even though you are my
friend I discard the offers.
What is your opinion on the State of Massachusetts
bill to criminalize all forms of corporal
punishment on persons under 18 including spanking?
Personally I think that the tragedies of things
like Columbine are a direct result of a carte
blanche style of parenting and the bad may outweigh
the good in such a law.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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T Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands
constant
demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on
the
amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their
marriage.
While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey,
you
know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me
drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days
that
start with the letter 'T', to minimise the frequency of our lovemaking
sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming
from,
and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."
On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks
the note
to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be
understanding
and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.
Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that
her
note has been replaced with a note from her husband that
reads, "Baby, I
didn't' realise that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm
sorry.
I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing
at the
bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to
make sure
that we are on the same page.
1. TUESDAY
2. THURSDAY
3. TODAY
4. TOMORROW
P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for
you
upstairs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the definition of oral sex?
A: The taste of things to come.
Q: How do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair?
A: Pi'tew... Spit... Pi'tew... Spit...
Q: What do you say to a man who you've just had sex with?
A: Say whatever you want... he's asleep.
Q. What can a goose do , a duck can't and a lawyer should?
A. Stick its bill up its ass !
Q. What do you call a blonde without an ashole?
A. Divorced
Q. Why do faggots make great linemen?
A. They like to penetrate the defense.
Q. Did you hear about the faggot cop?
A. He always got his man in the end.
Q. What do you call two men hanging on the wall with no arms or legs?
A. Curt & Rod
Q. Why did the plastic surgeon give up on the Polack woamn?
A. She kept picking her own nose !
Q. Why was the Polack uncomfortable in a fancy restaurant?
A. There was all this fancy silverware but no can opener.
Q. What did they call the guy who drove a sled team all the way
across Canada? A. A Husky fucker.
Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep with a talking parrot? A. A
great fuck, but it will always want a cracker and It might tell on
you !
Q: Did you hear about the new combination of Viagra and Doan's pills?
A: It's so the back won't peter out and the peter won't back out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Turkey Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy
carrying a wild turkey under his arm.
He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'
The boy replied, 'What turkey?'
The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'
The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done
roosted under my arm!'
The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so
whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.
If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his
wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you.
So, what are you gonna do with him?'
The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his butt and let him go!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sweet Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr Cadbury and Ms Rowntree went off for the weekend...
It was After Eight.
She was from Quality Street and he was a Fishermans Friend.
On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar.
He had a Rum and Butter and she had a Wine Gum.
He asked her name. She said Polo, I'm the one with the hole. But I'm
the one with the Nuts he thought.
Then he touched her Milky Way.
They checked in and went straight to the bedroom.
Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic.
It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt
the contrast of her Double Deckers.
Then he showed her his Curly Wurly.
But Ms Rowntree wasn't keen as she already had a few Jelly Babies, So
she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard. He was pleased as
he always fancied a bit of Fudge nudging. It was a Magic Moment as
she let out of scream of Turkish Delight. When he came out his Fun
Sized Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie.
She wanted more but he decided to take a Time Out.
However, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetising.
So he did a Twirl and had a Picnic in her Sherbert.
At the same time he gave her a Gob Stopper.
Unfortunately Mr Cadbury had to go home to his wife Caramel.
Sadly, he was soon to discover he had caught V.D.
It turns out Ms Rowntree had a Box of Assorted Creams.
She really had been with All Sorts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Married Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gray-hared, middle-aged, friend of mine was sitting at the evening
dinner table yesterday along with his spouse, when she startled him
by telling that she'd had a memorable dream the night before.
He was slow to ask what she'd dreamt about. So, she quickly went on
to tell him that it had included both of them, without any of his
prodding.
"I dreamed that you found a much younger woman, and that you threw me
out!" She blurted out impetuously.
Then adding in a sort of a cynical way "Of course in just a few days,
you came crawling by, and asked me to come back, tired of her whiny
ways!"
"And of course I told you to bite it!" She added forcefully.
He paused a minute before saying "That wasn't very nice of you!"
After a minute, he thoughtfully asked her "How old was she?"
"How old do you want her to be?" She responded nastily.
"Nineteen!" He quickly answered.
"Okay, she was nineteen!" She meekly returned.
He thought about that for a long moment, before asking again "What
did she look like?"
Now becoming just a little frustrated with him, and his cavalier
attitude, she answered "I wasn't focused on that, I was thinking
about my own situation and my own feelings" as she looked intently
toward him.
He rolled back in his chair, staring into space and said "Hell if
she's nineteen, who cares what she looks like!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Deer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
These two hunters went deer hunting every year without success.
Finally they came up with a great plan. They got themselves a very
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costume and learned the mating call of a doe in heat. The plan was to
hide in the costume, lure the buck in, then come out of the costume
and
shoot the buck.
They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing in their costume,
and began to give the doe in heat call. Before too long their call
was answered by the biggest buck in the forest. They called again,
and the
buck appeared closer to them. They called again, and this time the
buck
came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. As the buck
strutted closer to the two hunters, the guy in front said, "OK, lets
get
out and get him".
After a moment, that seemed like eternity, the guy in the back
shouts "THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?" The guy in
the front
says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling on grass, but you better
"brace" yourself!"
Randy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Play Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two little boys in first grade were chosen to be the leads in their
first school play. It was to be a Shakespearean play. The first
little boy was to say, "My fair maiden.... I have come to snatch a
kiss and fill your soul with hope." The second little boy was to
reply by saying, "Hark!, a pistol shot.
Well, on opening night in the school auditorium, the two little boys
were a bit nervous, knowing that all the seats were going to be
filled with grown-ups. The teacher told them to take their places on
the stage and to remember to speak very loud as soon as the curtain
goes up. The curtain rose and looking out upon the audience the two
boys were terrified. They stood there frozen. So the teacher
whispered for them to begin.. Jacob yelled out these unforgettable
words..... "My fair maiden.... I have come to kiss your snatch! And
fill your hole with soap."
Zachary screams out....."Hark! a shistol pot, a postle shiss, a pot
of shit, horse shit, this is bull shit... I never wanted to be in
this lousy play anyway..."
The audience
left howling!!!
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Phi Delt known a Carruthers
Will never make little girls mothers.
Around the old brown
He is covered with down
To wipe off the dongs of his brothers.
____________
A young English lass named Tess
Had herself in a terrible mess
She offered a fuck
For a fresh U.S. buck
But found out she was worth even less.
____________
This little throne we call our own
And we try to keep it neat;
So please be kind
With your behind
And don't shit on the seat.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Italian composer, Rossini, went to see his doctor. After
examining him, the doctor said, "Your trouble stems from wine, women
and song."
Rossini suggested, "Well, I can get along without the songs, since I
compose my own."
The doctor said, "Well, which of the other two are you prepared to
give up?"
Rossini relied, "That depends entirely on the vintage."
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A foreign diplomat was sitting beside a very beautiful blonde who
possessed all the social graces.
During the course of the dinner, he put his hand under the table and
started to feel her ankle.
She gave him a brilliant smile.
Encouraged, he went a little further and reached the calf of her leg
with the same results.
The lady smiled and he, becoming emboldened with this encouragement,
went above the knees.
Very soon, giving the diplomat a lovely smile she leaned and
whispered in his ear: "When you get far enough to discover that I'm a
man, don't change the expression on your face-I'm Secret Agent No.
13."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1157
Home
BJ arrives home from work to find a sullen house.
Rudy, Sandi, Katie and Diana are in a funk. Even the cats are
just laying around and not even purring.
BJ: Come on. What would Ginger want you guys to do?
Sandi: We know she is well in Katieworld, but we miss her here.
Rudy: It is a sad day for the Cassady Clan it is.
Katie: I am thinking about my own battle and how will it turn out.
Ginger and I were running mates.
BJ: Come on guys...this is not right. I have an idea. Other
cultures
would celebrate an event like this. Remember Ginger is not here but
she is there and doing great. Let's celebrate her life.
Sandi: oh whopee...sigh.
Diana: Your dad is right. If Ginger where here, she would be
suffering.
It was your guys idea to take here there...she is having a great time.
Besides you can visit her anytime you want.
Rudy: No, we made a pact. We will not go until it is our time. The
place
seems right for visiting but not for us. Did you notice the flowers
sang?
Sandi: The water had colors.
Katie: The air felt like velvet.
BJ: I know and it was difficult to leave. I remember when we were
there before we ran up a waterfall.
Diana: Yes, and the flowers and trees sang...
Sandi: What a Holy place for Ginger to be...sigh..
BJ: And you are sad?
Rudy: Shucks not now...I guess it is because Ginger was
so young, just a snot nosed kid.
Diana: Who was loved by us all and loved us all.
Katie: What a great legacy.
Sandi: I believe we have something to celebrate.
Not a passing, but a giving daughter.
Rudy: A sharing daughter
Katie: A loving niece.
BJ: A companion.
Diana: A sweetheart.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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