Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
As you know I follow college football and I am a Michigan
State Fan, and have been for almost 40 years when a student
ticket cost a whopping two dollars. Because of projects
and errands I missed Saturday's game against Indiana and
looked it up on Fox online. Spartans won 52-27 but I am
sure even that was not enough to give them a false sense
of security when they play Ohio St. next week. This is the
Big Ten though and anything could happen even when you
play the number one team in the country. Any how I noticed
they still had tickets available and was curious as to price.
There are some really good seats available at 400 dollars
and if you bring your own oxygen, binoculars, and don't
mind being higher than the Goodyear there are Upper Deck
tickets available for 200 dollars.
It is still October though and hopefully it will be warm
for the game. I was thinking back to watching a November
game from a partly filled Spartan stadium in the upper
deck with a girlfriend and it was cold especially when
that wind came whistling over the top. Columbus shouldn't
be as bad with 110,000 crammed in the stadium to help
block the wind.
I got ran out of my bedroom this morning because now
Buffy has two computers set up in there so she can
run her radio show online. She is on about 4 hours
a day during which I can't watch TV because the mike
is always open so that precludes my naps too because
I might snore on air. The URL is http://www.stinkeye
and it plays a good selection of music, although I really
would appreciate not waking up to the Dixie Chicks in
the future.
Enjoy your Sunday..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Herman had just hopped out of the shower, looked
out the window and saw a ladder going into the clouds.
As any of us would do, he raced outside and climbed the ladder. He
reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman.
"Make love to me or climb the ladder to success," she said.
No contest, thought Herman, so he climbed the ladder to the next
cloud.
On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was a wee bit easier
on the eye.
"Make love to me or climb the ladder to success," she said.
"Well," thought Herman, "might as well carry on."
On this cloud was lounging lady who,
this time, was quite attractive.
"Make love to me now or climb the ladder to success," she uttered.
As he turned her down and went on up the ladder,
Herman thought to himself that this was getting better the further he
went.
On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot.
"Take me here and now or climb the ladder to success," she said,
flirtingly.
Unable to imagine what could be waiting,
and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again.
When Herman reached the next cloud, there was a fat,
slobbish ugly old man, with flies buzzing all around him.
"G'day Mate, I'm Cess!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do you call an Irish queer?
A. Someone who prefers women over Guinness?
If sometimes you feel yourself little, useless, offended and
depressed, always remember that you were once the fastest and most
victorious sperm out of hundreds of millions.
The Sunday School teacher had been helping the children learn about
the Ten Commandments. One morning she asked, "Can anyone could recite
the next commandment?
Immediately Little Johnny said, "I can! I can!" And proceeded to
say, "Thou shalt not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife!"
Jill: I think I'll invite Charlie and Janie to come over next weekend
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Jill: No!
Mary: Yes! Charlie left Janie for somebody else.
Jill: Who could possibly tempt Charlie away from somebody as pretty,
sweet, and HOT as Janie?
Mary: Somebody named Kevin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After his exam the doctor said to Mendel an elderly man, "You appear
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sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am
usually cold and chilly."
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the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do
you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old fart," she replied. "That's because the first time
is usually in August and the second time is in January."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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English Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
.... Mistakes From New-to-English Language Students ....
"I was walking to school and suddenly a beautiful woman cut
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"She said she doesn't like fringe kissing. She prefers kiss-
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"He always erupts before I am finished talking."
"We were lovers, but now he is my biggest enema!"
"My father met us at the airport and gave me a big hog.
Then he hogged my wife."
"We live on the sex floor. Our apartment is small but we
have a nice view."
"He lifted the veal off her face and gave her a big kiss."
"Unfortunately, the school board was forced to cut
fifteen percent off all teachers."
"Do you like this food? I made it from scratching!"
"I like you more better. My other English tutor won't correct my
grandma."
"It was so exciting to watch! The cheerleaders threw up
high into the air."
"Rain makes old cars lust. So be careful about that. Once
a car starts lusting, there's no way to stop it."
"You can't sleep with me because it is too crowded. But
you can probably sleep with my sister. That's what most
of my friends do when they visit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do Illiterate People Have A Problem Digesting Alphabet Soup ?
------
Man: "Can I buy you a whiskey?"
Lady: "No you can't, whiskey is bad for my legs"
Man: "That's a shame, do they swell?"
Lady: "No, they open!"
- - - - - -
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The state board of education in Kansas has voted to dump evolution
studies in high schools in favor of the "intelligent design"
classes favored by evangelical Christians.
The news is delighting
students in Kansas who now plan to just write, "Jesus" as the
answer to all their science test questions.
rubin
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Turtle Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a
fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money.
The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn,
considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public.
But the drunk insisted and was given a gun.
He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and
after tying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth
owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he
had scored three bulls eyes. The star prize for the evening was a
large set of glassware, but the showman was certain that the
drunk wasn't aware of what he had done, and gave him instead a
consolation prize, a turtle. The drunk wandered off into the
crowd.
An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than before.
Once again the showman demurred, but once again the drunk
insisted, and once more scored three bulls eyes and was given
another turtle.
Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third
attempt. Once more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in the
general direction of the target, and pulled the trigger three
times. Once more he had scored three bulls eyes. But this time
there was an onlooker with good eyesight.
"That's fantastic," the man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls?"
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"Yes Sir!" he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic!
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magnificent 68-piece set of glassware."
"I don't want any bloody glasses," the drunk replied. "Give me
another one of those crusty meat pies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
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Subscribers and Friends
John w/ When God Paints
http://heavens-
Love Lifted Me/Marlene
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Alzheimer Symptoms
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Menopause
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Web-tv Links
http://www.angelfir
A-Z Song Lyrics W/HTML Code
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bows
Pick Up Your Email
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Movies
Bath Tub Toy
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Cops Undies
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Bee In Dress
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Been Married Too Long
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popcorn
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Predator
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robo a mano armada
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Scar face short
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cowboy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cowboy sat on a stool drinking a beer as the Mexican, also
dressed in western garb sat next to him.
There was a slight nod as they looked at each other. Soon the
cowboy ordered another and bought one for the Mexican also. When
their glasses became empty the cowboy bought again. Then a third time
the cowboy bought again and the Mexican grinned and spoke something
but the bar-tender never knew what he said. Then the cowboy seemed to
be infuriated and stood up suddenly drawing his gun and shot the
Mexican dead...
At the cowboys hearing the judge the judge asked the cowboy, "Why
did you suddenly become enraged for no apparent reason and shoot this
individual dead.
"Well, the cowboy explained, I tried to be friendly and he began
calling me names and insulting me for no reason and finally I got mad"
"What names did he call you that made you so mad that you wanted
to kill him"?, asked the Judge.
"Well, answered the cowboy, three times I bought him a drink, and
each time he grinned in my face and called me Grassy Ass...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aussie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extracts from the problem page of the famous Australian men's magazine
"Cobbler's", starring the legendary "Uncle Bruce,"... the " agony aunt
with Balls"
Q. Dear Bruce I have some lucky condoms that I keep in my wallet. I am
beginning to wonder if they really are lucky as they have been there
for
two months. A. Jesus mate, no worries. Men only use rubbers when they
are sober anyway. Guess that means you've been pissed for two months
which makes you one lucky b@st@rd! Just on a medical note rubbers are
good when you do an Abo as they are smelly b@st@rds, Oh and Roos too,
helps avoid bush rash.
Q. Dear Bruce my girlfriend got upset when I suggested I use an old
girlfriend's vibrator on her. A. No worries. I've seen this before.
Women need reassuring. Tell the stupid bitch that you have cleaned it
since you last used it. Sometimes Sheila's get hung up on hygiene.
Q. Dear Bruce I gave my sister one up the shitter and now she wants me
to do her mate. A. Eh mate you're from Melbourne right? No worries
mate,
as long as her mate is a Sheila it's ok.
Q. Dear Bruce, After my last Hockey game I got an erection in the
showers. Is this normal , I am a single guy and like girls. A. Nah
mate
you're queer. Only queers play hockey.
Q .Dear Bruce, my wife says I don't use enough lubricant before we
have
sex. A. Exactly how many beers are you drinking before you root her ?
Q. Dear Bruce , I am beginning to suspect I am gay. I wear leather
trousers and have just grown a Freddie Mercury moustache. I don't know
who to turn to. A. Get a grip of yourself man. Face facts, be logical:
You're queer, no one likes you , get a gun, blow your brains out.
Q. Dear Bruce my girl friend says we don't do enough foreplay. A. Geez
mate, you had me stumped for a bit. I didn't recognise the word
Foreplay. Then it struck me, Fore is what you shout in golf.. Jeez
guy,
men don't play golf with women but it's ok for her practice putting
with
your dick.
Q. Dear Bruce, I fooled around with a Kiwi and now I have a dose. What
do I do ? A. Deny ,deny, deny, deny, deny and never ever ,ever, ever
,ever admit to going with a kiwi.
Q. Bruce the boys are telling me there is such a thing as Dingo sex.
What is it ? A. There are two types. The first one when you wake up
next
to a f*cking ugly Sheila and you chew your arm off to escape rather
than
wake her, just like a dingo caught in a trap, and the other one is
when
you drink too much and your old boy it Dingo in and dingo hard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman came home from her date and began to undress for bed, unaware
that a peeping Tom was watching her through her window. She removed
her wig and placed it upon the wig stand. She unhooked her padded bra
and pitched it into the hamper. She pulled off her girdle with the
padded butt and pitched that too. She removed her contact lenses,
cleaned them, and stored them in their case. She pulled off her
false eyelashes and stuck them to their holder.
Suddenly she noticed the man peeping in at her window. "What do you
want?" she screamed.
He said, "You know what I want. Take it off and throw it over here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONSUMER ALERT!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two
drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says .I'm on
this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.." The
bartender says, "Well. since it's your birthday. I'll buy you a
drink. In fact. this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink. the woman on her right says. I would
like to buy a drink too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two
drops of water.
"Coming up says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink. the man on her left says. I would like to
buy you one too."
The old woman says. "Thank you. Bartender I want another Scotch with
two drops of water."
:Coming right up." the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says. "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
Why the Scotch with
only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies. "Sonny. when your my age, you've learned how
to hold your liquor.
Holding your water, however, is a whole new issue."
Calif Jack
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1115
The Race
Katie: Okay we are all here. Here is the deal. Tami you run the
race.
Tami: Right!
Katie: Sandi you are the announcer on WKATY.
Sandi: Right!
Katie: Ginger you will run along with Miss Tami to keep her from
straying off the course and staying on pace.
Ginger: Right!
Katie: Rudy, you will run along the course to keep it clear of
obstacles
and hand Tami water and energy bars as needed plus you are our
security.
Rudy: Right!
Tami: What will you be doing Katie?
Katie: I will be handling the TV, radio and press interviews. I
will be
making deals with sponsors and of course, I take 15 percent on the
deals. I would run with you, but my back is still sore and I need my
rest. I have my electric golf cart and will drive along beside you at
times.
Tami: Oh whopee.
Katie: Time for you to loosen up, the race starts soon. I will
activate
your shoes now.
Tami: What?
Katie: Your shoes, remember you get a shock if you go too slow or
too fast.
Tami: Oh yes. BZZZAP!! Hey the race hasn't started yet. BZZZAP!
Katie: Oh sorry, just testing.
BZZZAP!!
to be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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