[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!


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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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This is not exactly one of my favorite times of the year. I don't wish to rain on the parade of those who enjoy Halloween, but the other night, I turn on the tube and its the same with every channel you go to: Halloween #17. Amityville horror #23, Haunted house on the hill #19 and so the movie list goes. Its almost impossible to find a movie to watch that is not a horror flick right now on the tube. So, off in the car "the war department" and me went to use a get one free coupon at Family video. Admittedly, they're selection tended to lean towards the horror and Halloween stuff as well, but we did find a couple of winners. we picked out a movie called "Breech" It was about Robert Hanson, the famous spy in the FBI who passed tons of secrets over to the 
Soviets. It was a pretty good one too, actually. We also picked up a copy of Blood Diamonds, with Leonardo Decaprio, another excellent flick, altho a little gory in places. So if you're really bored and lookin for something to watch, those are a couple good titles for ya. So saith the movie critic, the postman. lol

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!

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THE COMICS

the aliens
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do you really wanna hear this?
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mothers day
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There were three morticians trading stories in a bar one night. The
first one says, "What a day I had today. The guy wasn't wearing his
seatbelt and his head flew into the windshield. Took me all day to make the face look natural."Not to be outdone, the second mortician says, "You think that's bad? I had this guy in who got hit by a train while he was riding his bike.Took me TWO days to put all the pieces back together!" The third mortician just shook his head. "You guys have it easy," he said. "I had this female parachutist whose chute didn't open. She landed on a flagpole and it took me all week just to wipe the smile off her face
_________________
 
An old man had a dog he just loved but the dog had the bad
habit of attacking anything that moved including people. His
friends told him that if he had the dog fixed he would lose his
aggressions and quit this behavior. 
So the old man had his dog fixed and a few days later was in
his front room when the mailman came up the steps. The dog
jumped up and went right thru the screen door and attacked
the mailman. The old man ran out and pulled his dog off and
began apologizing to the mailman.
He said, "I am so sorry, I don't know what to do or say. My
friends told me he would quit attacking people if I had him
fixed. I just don't know what to do."
The mailman picked himself up and said, "You should have
had his teeth pulled, I knew when he came out the door he
wasn't going to screw me."
_____________
 
An antelope was asked to go to a dance. She bought a new dress and necklace for the dance. Then she had her horns and hooves done. Since she lived alone, she struggled to dress herself. Running late, she encountered a herd of stampeding buffalo approaching the trail. She thought she was fast enough to get past them. But, unfortunately, she was run over by the buffalo. And this is the origin of the self- dressed stamped antelope.
_____________
 
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning the father's room the other day and I found a bunch of pornographic magazines!" "What did you do?" 
the other nuns asked. "Well, of course, I threw them all in the trash." The second nun said, "ell, guess what. I was in the father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!""Oh my," gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?""I poked holes in all of them," she replied. The third nun said, "Oh, shit."
______________

To get acquainted with his new parish, the new Priest decided to call on a new parishioner every day until he got to know most of them. One day he selected a young widow, whose husband, according to the index card supplied him by the parish office, had died two years ago. After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms. He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Smith." "You've found her Father," smiled the lady. "Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms. "That's correct Father," she replied. "He surely did. But I didn't."
________________
 
The attractive Yuppette, admired by all the husbands at the club, was talking to one of the wives over drinks. "I've developed an immunity to being used by men as a sex object." The wife grinned and replied, "That's not surprising darling, considering the number of times you've been inoculated."
______________
 
Two guys were talking at a bar. "What's the matter, John? You look
bad, man." "Aw, Steve. I've got mother-in-law trouble." "Cheer up,
John. Everybody has problems with their mother-in-law. " "Maybe so, but not like me," said John. "I got mine pregnant!"
______________
 
The voluptuous blonde entered the dentist's office in an obvious
state of agitation. She sat down in the chair and fidgeted nervously
as the dentist prepared his utensils. "Oh, doctor," she exclaimed, as
he prepared to look into her mouth, "I'm so afraid of dentists. Why,
I think I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth drilled." "Well,
miss," said the dentist impatiently, "better make up your mind before I adjust the chair."

BUFFALO'S Movies
 
 
 
 

FUN PAGE
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!




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