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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
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FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Remember Sherrif Joe Arpaio from Maricopa, Arizona?
He's the dood who was famous for creating the "tent city jail"
and serving balogna sandwiches to his inmates for lunch? He
made tv headlines with his "get tough on inmates" at his jail.
Well, guess what? He has once again made headlines. After doing
such a great job with his get tough with inmates stance at his
jail, Arizona lawmakers began taking notice. Particularly when
Sherrif Joe reduced the budget of the jail remarkably. The
state government decided to turn over its state execution program
to the controversial sherrif, also. ....
Now here is something I have had a lot of fun with.
they are called "politically clocked." And I thought you guys would
enjoy them, too. What you do is design your own politician
clock. Pick your politician, then you get to tell it what to say. lol
I had to choose Hillary. I have her sayin, "I don't wanna be
president no more, I just want to read the postmans corner."
LOLOLOLOL It was so much fun, what with xmas coming up,
I ordered a couple for presents. I thought you all would wanna try it
out!
POLITICAL CLOCKS!
just click a button for the politician of your choice.
make em say what you want em to say.
We'll send you an image of the exact clock you created!
clinton
mccain
obama
guilliani
http://www.tinyurl.com/32bnyy
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
FREE KIX CEREAL
Start your morning strong with a FREE* box of KIX!
Kids love its great-tasting, lightly-sweetened, crispy
puffs of corn and parents love its nutritional value.
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THE COMICS
I wonder
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h031. html
a good idea
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h032. html
check this out Lorraine.
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h033. html
hey what about my jeans?
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h034. html
what a difference in the 2
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h035. html
thinkin about other things
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h036. html
leave em alone!
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h037. html
the proof
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h038. html
old people and sunbathing
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h039. html
safety
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/h040. html
FREE COTTONELLE MOIST WIPES
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are a #1 choice for parents. The alcohol-free pre-moistened wipes
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feeling than dry toilet paper alone.
http://www.tinyurl.com/3bnexb
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
phone sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies605 .html
on the piss again
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies603 .html
the morning after
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies604 .html
the collapsible ladder...be sure you lock it
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies606 .html
At a bar, a drunk says to a girl, "Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink."
"Why?"
"You're so fucking ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you."
________________
Sandra: So I told my ex, "You just don't arouse me!"
Cindy: Well, that's pretty forthright! What did he say?
Sandra: He said, "Well, maybe you have a dry well!"
Cindy: OOH!
Sandra: It was all right. I told him, "Maybe you need a new drill!"
__________________
DIFFERENCE IN CHILD DISCIPLINE IN 1960 v 2006
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist
fight after school.
1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny
and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to
jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives,
arrest Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both
expelled from school even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't stay still in
class, disrupts other students.
1960 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a
smack on the bum by Principal. After a very short time, sits
still in class.
2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of
Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money because
Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his
father's car and his Dad gives him a thumping.
1960 - Billy is more careful next time,
grows up normal, goes to uni, and becomes a successful and
responsible citizen.
2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child
abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.
Billy's sister is told by psychologist "Of course, you
remember being abused" and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's
mum has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mary is pregnant.
1960 - five high school boys leave town.
Mary does her final year at a special school for expectant
mothers.
2006 - School counsellor contacts Planned
Parenthood. Mary gets an abortion. Mary given condoms and
told to be more careful next time, and also kids don't need
fathers, anyway.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover
firecrackers from cracker night, puts them in a bottle,
blows up a red ant hill.
1960- Ants die.
2006 - Fire brigade and police called.
Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, government
investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers
confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch-list.
_______________
Once upon a time long, long ago there was a season when neither the
Packers nor the Vikings made the post season playoffs. It seemed so
unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided
that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams,
because of their great rivalry. So, they decided on a week long ice
fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end
of the week wins.
So on a cold northern Wisconsin lake they began their contest.
The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Vikings had caught 100
fish and the Packers had 0. At the end of the 2nd day the Vikings had
caught 200 fish and the Packers 0.
That evening the Packers coach got his team together and said, "I
suspect some kind of cheating is taking place." So the next morning
he dressed one of his players in purple and gold and sent him over to
the Viking camp to act as a spy. At the end of the day he came back
to report to the coach. The coach asked "Well, how about it, are they
cheating?" "They sure are!" the player reported,
"They're cutting holes in the ice."
_________________
An Australian travel writer touring Canada was checking out
of the Vancouver Hilton, and as he paid his bill said to the manager,
"By the way, what's with the Indian chief sitting in the lobby?
He's been there ever since I arrived."
"Oh that's 'Big Chief Forget-me-Not'," said the manager.
"The hotel is built on an Indian reservation, and part of the
agreement is to allow the chief free use of the premises for the
rest of his life. He is known as 'Big Chief Forget-me-Not'
because of his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and
can remember the slightest details of his life."
The travel writer took this in, and as he was waiting for his cab,
decided to put the chief's memory to the test. "G'day, mate!"
said the Aussie, receiving only a slight nod in return.
"What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?"
"Eggs," was the chief's instant reply, without even looking up,
and indeed the Aussie was impressed.
He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across to the
East coast and back, telling others of Big Chief Forget-me-Not's
great memory. (One local noted to him that 'How' was a more
appropriate greeting for an Indian chief than 'G'day mate.')
On his return to the Vancouver Hilton six months later, he
was surprised to see 'Big Chief Forget-me-Not' still sitting in the
lobby, fully occupied with whittling away on a stick. "How," said the Aussie.
"Scrambled," said the Chief.
_____________
A car hit a Jewish man, and the paramedics rushed to the scene.
After assessing the situation, they got the man on a stretcher and moved
him into the ambulance for transport to the hospital. He was not badly injured,
but enough so that they felt he should be checked out more
thoroughly than they were capable of doing in the street.
After getting the stretcher secured in the ambulance and as they
prepared to leave, one of the paramedics checked on the man
and asked him, "How are you feeling?"
"Okay, considering," answered the man.
"Any nausea, dizziness, numbness?" asked the paramedic.
"No, none of that."
"Any shortness of breath or chest pain?"
"Nope."
"Are you comfortable?"
"I make a good living."
_____________
Buffalo's
Movies
Window Washer
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 032912.htm
Small Guy
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 032913.htm
Smile
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 032914.htm
LAB LAUGHS
12 Steps
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20000630
I will show you one more time.
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20050622
What You are here for
http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_ toon.php? id=C20001028
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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