Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The past few days I had beed noticing a few missing
emails that normally come to my buffalo address. Not
really anything important because I only use that
address for my Google and Topica mail and a few friends
that still have that in their address books. I did find
it strange today that copies of yesterday's chips never
made it to me. The first thing I did was to resend
and then one showed up not the other. Pretty strange so
I checked the email filters online and after sorting
through about 2000 spam emails found nothing out of
place. I gave up and had breakfast and settled down
for a quick nap. When I got up I happened to notice
that Buffy's computer that I had used for several days
when my graphics card went bad was on and she had
Outlook Express open and running. I had left the buffalo
account open on it and it was downloading my mail on
a different cycle in between when my computer did
accounting for the missing email. Once again mystery
solved by accidentally discovering a previous mistake.
For those tracking the fires in Southern California
who would like to help
http://wcbstv.
ml
Although President Bush has already declared the area
a disaster and authorized help for those that are
not insured, even those who have insurance will have
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If you can afford to help, please do so..
Take care all.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I ran in to Bill the other day and he clearly
looked very distraught. I asked him what was
wrong.
Bill said, "As you know, I am looking for
employment. I found an ad in the paper for a part
in local dinner theater, Shakespeare'
Juliet. I went and tried out for the part of
Romeo. However, I failed my audition through a
misunderstanding over a simple stage direction.
My copy of the script clearly said, "Enter Juliet
from the rear."
You can encapsulate a marriage in four words. If
a fellow gets married, but finds a temptation
elsewhere, hears about it from his wife when she
finds out, and finds himself served with papers,
you can sum up the experience as: Hitched,
Itched, Bitched, Ditched.
Jill said, "So I guess my ex wanted to distract
me because right in the middle of the argument he
stopped and said, 'Now, hon. You know I want
what's best for you!'"
Nadine replied, "What'd you say to that?"
"I asked him, 'How soon can you be packed and out of here, then?'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
License Plate
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Dick Cleaners
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Dogs Anonymous
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An English major was being released from prison.
The nice looking female clerk was about to give
him the $100.00 they give to all released
prisoners. Since the inmate had not had female
attention for a long time, he suggested that she
could keep the money if she would have sex with
him. He was immediately rearrested and thrown
back into jail. Everybody knows you should never
end a sentence with a proposition.
A woman went to a computer dating service and
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background. All she wanted was a man of upright
character.
Then a man came in and told them the only thing
he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.
The service matched them together at once because
they had one thing in common -- they were both
pathological liars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill, a rather young miss attending St. Mary's
Catholic Girls School, was sitting on the
sidewalk, smoking a cigarette.
The local priest, walks by and gives her a glare.
"Jill! Smoking at such a young age! Aren't you
ashamed?"
"What?" said Jill. "You got something better to do after sex?"
The American tourist stood staring at the
highland sentry standing guard outside Edinburgh
Castle.
After a few minutes she went up to the sentry and
asked 'I've always wanted to find out what's worn
under the kilt'.
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A woman entered the bank and said, "I'd like to
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The old professor is retired, and loves to sit in
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girls walk by. Then he developed heart trouble
and had to have a pacemaker implanted.
He still enjoys sitting in the front of his house
and watching the girls, only now whenever an
especially pretty one goes by, his pacemaker
makes the garage door go up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luigi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vincenzo and Luigi were sitting on a bench in a New York park. "Hey,"
said Vincenzo , "do you likea biga fat woman with a longa, greasy,
straggly hair?"
"No, I'ma no likea dat" replied Luigi .
"Den, you likea da woman stinka bad a garlic alla da time?" inquired
Vincenzo .
"Nope, I'ma no lika dat kind either!" said Luigi .
"You musta likea da woman with a big, thicka hips anna varicose veins,
no?" asks Vincenzo .
"Notta me!" answered Luigi .
"How about da woman witha da big ass and hairy arms," asks Vincenzo
"Never lika dat!" answered Luigi .
"Den you Guinea bastard, whya you keepa fuckin' my wife?" Vincenzo
asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Corn Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple gets married and the wife puts a foot
locker in the bedroom. She locks it, then puts
the only key on a chain around her neck. For
fifty years, her husband tries to figure out
what's in there, but she always changes the
subject, and avoids the issue. Finally, on the
night of their fiftieth wedding anniversary,
he says to her, "I've got to know what's in
the trunk!" She takes the key, unlocks the
foot locker, and inside there's two ears of
corn and $25,000.
The guy says, "What's with the two ears of
corn?"
She says, "Well, umm, in the fifty years,
every time I broke our marriage vows, I put
an ear of corn in the trunk."
The guy figures, "Twice in fifty years, not
so bad..." Then he says, "And what's the
$25,000?"
She says, "Well, everytime I got a bushel, I
sold it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hand Job Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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She, being the proper girl that she is, had absolutely no idea what a
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So, she tells her husband she needs a drink of water, gets out of bed,
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Mom," she says, "he says he wants a hand job and I don't know what he
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Gee, Mom, that's easy enough," she replies.
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thing
firmly with one hand and starts beating the end with the other.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
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This is a reminder letter to email me all your sites at
BABYLISSA73@
number #5 head to rate my picture thank you here's the link
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Popcorn
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Crows
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Movies
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Small Guy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lovely young thing entered the doctor's office on
her lunch hour and addressed a young man in a white
coat. "I've had a pain in my shoulder for a week.
Can you help me?"
"Lie down on this table," he said, "and I'll massage
it for you."
After a few minutes, the beauteous patient exclaimed, "Doctor, that
isn't my shoulder!"
The young man smiled and replied, "No, and I'm not a doctor, either."
"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'
friend at the next barstool.
"Well, I'd have to say it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk
way too much," answered the equally wasted gent.
"Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for years
and years now!"
A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a
table for a reading group. After the story was read she gave the
children a work sheet to do.
While they were working she heard a little girl say very
softly "damn!"
The teacher leaned over and said quietly, "We don't say that
in school."
The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she
said, "Not even when things are all fucked up?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Couch Shopping
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Don't Mess With Me
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For The Gals
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Over Sexed
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I Think I Can
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now Gail is a heckuva Ghostess
I say this but then I can boastess
She'll come up and coo,
Well, how do you 'boo'
She is the Ghostess with the Mostess
(Clynch Varnadore)
A really old vampire named "Tex"
Is "out for blood" and I suspects
He's not a nice guy
If he catches your eye
It's you who will likely be necks
(Gary Hallock)
The mummy was looking quite dapper
"Got rich from my music, Old Chapper '
Cause the music that comes
When my bandages hum
Has made me the world's greatest wrapper!"
(Clynch Varnadore)
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the exact same time there are two young men
on opposite sides of the Earth. One is walking
a tight rope between two skyscrapers.
The other is receiving oral sex from a 98 year old
woman.
They are both thinking to themselves the exact same
thing. What are they both thinking?
The answer is below, but think about it first...
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
Answer: Don't look down, DON'T LOOK DOWN!!!
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dear Boss"
To ensure that you have a good time on your trip to Australia, your
team members have planned and developed a special itinerary to fill
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Day 1: The "10 Deadliest Snakes" Fall Tour. You and a guest will be
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handle and examine each of the world's 10 most deadly snakes.
Day 2: The "Great White Encounter." You and your tour guide will take
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dive into the chum-laden water and experience the beauty of the Great
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Hand Reef.
We hope you will enjoy your trip!
Your loyal employees.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1123
Crisis
Ginger: Sandi something is wrong with your dad.
Zoom!
Sandi races to the basement and sees BJ having a seizure in
his overstuffed chair. Ginger is panic-driven.
Ginger: What do I do?
Sandi: Get Rudy and Katie and bring them here. Do not panic. Just
tell them to hurry and be calm.
Soon...all dogs are there.
Katie is whimpering.
Sandi: We know what to do. Rudy get Diana and then come back and
you will be in charge of security. Diana will help him to bed.
Katie you
will be his nurse. I will be his comforter.
Ginger: What can I do?
Sandi: You will watch and learn. This is very difficult for all of
us. Each
of us have our roles. I think after you learn, you will help me to be
a cormforter.
A few minutes later Diana comes downstairs..
Rudy: Yes, he has not hurt himself, but we must get him into bed
before the second one comes.
Later in bed...
Ginger: A second one?
Sandi: Yes, daddy usually has two and the second one is much more
dangerous than the first.
Ginger crying: Oh no. What can we do?
Katie: Keep him in bed where it is safe. We can watch him. Oh here
he goes!
About 15 minutes later...
Ginger: Oh poor grandpa. He must be exhausted.
Sandi with tears in her eyes: He is. He now needs sleep and lots of
it.
Rudy go tell mom.
Rudy: I am on it.
Katie: I will lay on him and check his heart and pulse. sniff sniff.
Sandi: This is all we can do. Make him comfortable.
The herd in Guthrie
(Sandi stayed next to me the whole time. Katie laid on me or on my
feet. Rudy was positioned as my guard and Ginger was
being 'trained.')
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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