[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

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welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!


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You have been awarded 2 FREE* Puzzle Books
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FREE HEAD N SHOULDERS!
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I have never understood wimmin. specially
"The war department." They all do and say this silly stuff. Like the other other day, she's in there cleaning the bathroom floor! Now what is the sense in that? Its just gonna get dirty again, right guys? And the stupid stuff she tells me? She says I'm s'posta sit down to pee! I just don't get it! What's with her anyways? But you know what? She came up with a really goofy one just recently. She told me that in the middle of the night, I'm sposta turn the light on if I get up to pee!
Go figger. wimmin. geeze. 
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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!

FREE TRIP TO RUBY TUESDAYS
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THE COMICS

honey moon hangover
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i011.html
 
sweetheart, believe my intentions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i012.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
Rudolph got fired this year due to sexual
differences with Santa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i018.html
 
 
nevermind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i020.html
________________

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FREE PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN MOVIE PAK
http://www.tinyurl.com/2yt67s

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
 
 
 
 
 
Heinz, microwavable soup
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies625.html

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called the "Help Hotline". The call went through to a 'call center' in Pakistan. I explained that I was feeling suicidal. They were very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane...
 _____________
 
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.
The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won't help you outrun that bear."
"I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
_____________
 
Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising.
He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing and he offers to make a TV ad for Wilson's Nails.
"Give me a week," says the friend, "and I'll be back with a tape."A week goes by and the marketing executive comes to see Wilson. He puts a cassette in the video and presses play. A Roman soldier is busy nailing Jesus to the cross. He turns to face
the camera and says with a grin:
"Use Wilson Nails, they'll hold anything."
Wilson goes mad shouting: "What is the matter with you? They'll never show that on TV. I'll give you a second chance, but no more Romans crucifying Jesus!"Another week goes by and the marketing man comes back to see Wilson with another tape. He puts it in the machine and hits play. This time the camera pans out from a Roman standing with his arms folded to show Jesus on the cross. The Roman looks up at him and says: "Wilsons Nails, they'll hold anything."
Wilson is beside himself. "You don't understand: I don't want anything with Jesus on the cross! Listen, I'll give you a last chance. Come back in a week with an advertisement that I can broadcast."
A week passes and Wilson waits impatiently.
The marketing executive arrives and puts on the new video.A naked man with long hair, gasping for breath, is running across a field. About a dozen Roman soldiers come over the hill, hot on his trail. One of them turns to camera and says:
"If only we had used Wilson Nails!"
_________________
 
One morning, a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes  some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and runs into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. Without batting an eye, the priest says, "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle. Tell me, where is this man now?"  "He's flat on his ass over by the holy water, Father."
________________
 
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!"
_______________
 
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see Accountants on my operating table; because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second surgeon, from Chicago , responds, "Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, "No, I really think Librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles , chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over." But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC , shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine; and the head and the ass are interchangeable."
__________________

Buffalo's Movies
 
 
 
 
LAB LAUGHS
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!

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