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that in addition to being a teller of jokes, I also like
to philosophize about life in my own country bumpkin way.
It has been some time since I have blessed you at any length
with such philosophies, and today is your lucky day, as I have
two such meaningful statements to make that will give you some
much needed material to ponder on during the course of this day.
1st...
You should be aware that it is possible that the purpose
of your life could possibly be only to serve as a warning
to others.
2nd
Now the second point about life you should ponder on is
most appropriate.
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds
have gone south for the winter!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
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THE COMICS
kids must learn to share
http://www.thepostm
beer n pussy
http://www.thepostm
osama asks
http://www.thepostm
pull out
http://www.thepostm
your wife
http://www.thepostm
what my brother did
http://www.thepostm
quick grow
http://www.thepostm
women are funny
http://www.thepostm
taps
http://www.thepostm
cooking again?
http://www.thepostm
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Demon Scotts and bubbles
http://www.thepostm
beautiful, and motivational
http://www.thepostm
Spade Texas public highschool
http://www.thepostm
the manual transmission
http://www.thepostm
a message of hope
http://www.thepostm
the orange and the egg.
http://www.thepostm
Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team.
The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback.
He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools,
but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could
ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching
CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner
of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier
with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade
straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka-
boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of
10 soldiers 100 yards away -- ka-blooey! Then a car
passed, going 90 mph --bulls-eye! "I've got to get
this guy!" Ross said to himself. "He has the
perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States
and teaches him the great game of football, and the
Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time
in history.The young Bosnian is lionized as the
Great Hero of football, and when Ross asks him
what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to
call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone,
"I just won the Super Bowl." "I don't want to talk
to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us.
You are not my son." "I don't think you understand,
Mother!" the young man pleads. "I
just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among
thousands of my adoring fans." "No, let me tell you,"
the mother retorts. "At this very moment,
there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood
is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within
an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister
was raped in broad daylight." The old lady pauses,
and then tearfully says
"...I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
____________
A teacher was giving a lesson in sex education to her
fourth grade class. After showing a brief film and reading
the lesson, she asked if anyone had any questions.
One little boy held up his hand shyly, "Teacher,
I have a boy dog and he jumps over the fence and
wrestles with this girl dog and she has puppies. Is this sex?"
"Yes, that's sex," the teacher replied.
A little girl raised her hand, "Teacher,
I have a girl cat and there's a boy cat that
jumps on her out in the yard and they wrestle.
Then she has kittens. Is that sex?"
"Yes, that's sex," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny then raised his hand,
"Teacher, the other night I saw a movie
where three guys wrestled with Sylvester Stallone. Is that sex?"
"No, that was not sex," the teacher replied.
"Good," Little Johnny replied.
"I always thought it would take
more than three guys to screw Sylvester Stallone."
____________
Three women at the doctors office.
The first one goes in to see the doctor.
When the doctor goes to examine her
he notices a big "Y" on her chest.
The doctor asks, "Why do you have a big
"Y" on your chest?" She replies, "Well, my
boyfriend went to Yale and when we make love
he likes to wear his college sweater."
The doctor nods and continues on with the
next patient. When he examines her he
notices a big "H" on her chest.
Again, the doctor asks, "How did you get a big
"H" on your chest?"
The woman replies "My husband went to
Harvard and when we
make love he likes to wear his college sweater."
The doctors just nods his head and continues
on with the last patient.
As he examines her he notices once again that this
woman also has a letter on her chest.
A large "M". He says, "Don't tell me,
your boyfriend went to Michigan?"
"No ... " replies the patient.
"But my girlfriend went to Wisconsin"
____________
A man and a woman were having drinks when
they got into an argument about
who enjoyed sex more. The man said,
"Men obviously enjoy sex more than women.
Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything,"
the woman countered. Think about this...
When your ear itches and you put your
little finger in it and wiggle it around,
then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?
____________
An American tourist in France found himself needing to take a
leak something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't
find anyplace to relieve himself. So he just went down one of the
side streets to take care of business.
Before he could even get unzipped a French police office asked,
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"I gotta piss, man."
"You can't piss here. Look, follow me."
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of
grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges.
"Here," said the cop, whiz away."
The American shrugs, turns, unzips, and starts
right on the flowers.
"Ahhh. Whew. Thanks. This is very nice of you.
Is this French courtesy?"
"No. This is the American Embassy."
____________
There was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row. The
warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head."
Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me."
Snap! he was dead.
Then the Redneck said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."
They gave him the shot, and the redneck fell down laughing.
The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with
this guy.Then the Redneck said,
"Give me another one of those shots," so
the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from
his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally the warden said, "What's wrong with you?"
The Redneck replied,
"You guys are so stupid..... I'm wearing a condom."
____________
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Topless Car Wash
http://www.buffalos
milkshake
http://www.buffalos
Unnecessary-
http://www.buffalos
____________
LAB LAUGHS
A Nose For The Snowman
http://www.lablaugh
Came To An Understanding
http://www.lablaugh
Bad Feeling
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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