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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
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THE COMICS
the doctor says
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he needs a girlfriend
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my doctor says
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your letter
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a mouthful
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that will cost her
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the bird watchers
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where did you get that?
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all the world
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it was ok
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
US troops "horsing around"
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its a comin
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smile
http://www.thepostm
piss on it
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The SAS, the Army and the Police decide to go on a survival
weekend together, to see who comes out on top. After some basic
exercises, the trainer tells them their next objective is to go
down to the woods and come back with a rabbit for tea..
First up are the SAS. They don their infra-red goggles, drop to
the ground, and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute
silence for five minutes, followed by a single muffled shot. They
emerge with a rabbit, shot cleanly through the forehead.
"Excellent" says the trainer.
Next, the army. They finish their cans of lager and cover
themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down to
the woods, screaming at the top of their voices. For the next
half hour the woods ring with the sound of machine guns, mortar
bombs, hand grenades and blood- curdling war cries. They emerge
with the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you got a result. Well done!" said the trainer.
Lastly, in go the Police. Walking slowly, hands behind their
backs, whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, The
silence is only broken by the crackle of walkie talkies. "Sierra
oscar lima, suspect heading straight for you," etc. : After what
seems like an eternity, they emerge with a squirrel in handcuffs.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the trainer.
"Take this squirrel back and got me a rabbit, like I asked you to
five hours ago".
So back they go.
Minutes pass.
Minutes turn to hours.
Day turns to night.
The next morning the trainer and the rest of the crew are
awakened by the Police holding the squirrel,
now covered in bruises.
"Are you taking the piss?" asked the seriously irate trainer
The Police team leader shoots a glance at the squirrel who squeaks,
"Alright, alright I'm a fucking rabbit!"
____________
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked,
"Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his
mom heard him yell to his
friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
____________
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A blind man, deaf man and a lame man went on
a pilgrimage to a healing spring. The blind man
washed his eyes with water from the spring and
exclaimed "I can see! I can see!"
The deaf man washed his ears with the spring
water and exclaimed "I can hear! I can hear!'
The lame man drove his wheelchair into the water
and out the other side yelling "I got new tires!"
____________
Morris, a city boy moved to the country and bought a donkey from
an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the
next day.
The next day, the farmer drove up and said,
"Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."
"Well then just give me my money back."
"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
"OK, then. Just unload the donkey."
"What ya gonna do with him?"
"I'm going to raffle him off."
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with the city boy and asked,
"Whatever happened with that dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and
made a profit of $998. "
"Didn't anyone complain?"
"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
____________
Standing at the edge of the lake, a fisherman saw a
woman flailing about in the deep water. Another man was
standing on the shore screaming for help.
The fisherman ran over to the man. "Help!" the other man
started, "I can't swim! My wife's drowning!I'll give you
$1000 if you save her!"
The fisherman jumps in the water, swims powerfully out to
the drowning woman, puts his arm around her, and swims
back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the
fisherman coughs up water, then says, "[cough] ok, bud,
where's my 'grand'?"
"But, this is my mother-in-law!
The fisherman reaches into his pocket with a frown and
says, "Just my luck. Ok, how much do I owe you?"
BUFFALO'S
MOVIES
Non Smoker Revenge
http://www.buffalos
Art Of Farting
http://www.buffalos
Grocery Store-Kid No Candy
http://www.buffalos
LAB LAUGHS
CARTOON TIME:
Why men give girls beer
http://www.lablaugh
Wiggle your ears
http://www.lablaugh
Whore-a-matic machine
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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