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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Become a secret shoper and get $1000 to shop!
(participation required, see below for details).
To get a Gift Card please follow the instructions
on our website and confirm your email address.
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Now check this out. We worry about stupid stuff.
yep, that's right. Take for example, a ciggy butt.
They say you lose 2 minutes of your life smoking one.
And then a beer. 4 minutes. yep.
But you know what? nobody ever thinks about the real
life shortener!!! WORK!!!
You go to work, you lose a whole 8 hours of your life!
LETS ALL GO HOME!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
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____________
THE COMICS
great news!
http://www.thepostm
its wearin off!
http://www.thepostm
gettin caught
http://www.thepostm
homo cide
http://www.thepostm
out of order
http://www.thepostm
love my dog
http://www.thepostm
yeah you were good
http://www.thepostm
politicians and the truth
http://www.thepostm
what a bummer...
http://www.thepostm
on the other hand
http://www.thepostm
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
when you wish upon a star
http://www.thepostm
a doctors advice
http://www.thepostm
kids...
http://www.thepostm
THIS ONE IS FOR ALL MY BUDDIES AT TRITON:
10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer
Number 10:
When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked
because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems;
my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died."
Number 9:
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for
as long as necessary.
Number 8:
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?"
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to
figure out where the hell she could know you from.
Number 7:
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan,
reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...
would you be my friend?"
Number 6:
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy
and you could sure use some money.
Number 5:
Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they could bring
you a case of beer and some chips.
Number 4:
After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your
credit card number to a complete stranger.
Number 3:
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will
give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say
"I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Number 2:
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
And first and foremost:
Number 1:
Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
____________
Just Take our Sam's Club Survey and complete participation requirements
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http://www.tinyurl.
The Russian couple's sex life was terrible,
So they went out and bought a black market
Copy of a sex manual.
"Natasha! I want to eat your pussy
Like it says in the book, but it smells
So bad. Why don't you go out and buy some
Of that Western feminine deodorant spray?"
Natasha agreed. An hour later, she returned,
VERY excited. "You should see the flavors they
Have," she told her husband. "Strawberry, cherry, banana --"
"What did you get?" he interrupted.
"Tuna," she replied.
____________
Bill and Tom are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One
day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench
saw. Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and
Bill to the local hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill. The
nurse says, 'Oh he's out in Rehab exercising'. Tom couldn't believe
it, but here's Bill out the back exercising his now reattached arm.
The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on
another bloody big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic
bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital. Next day he calls in
to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, 'He's
out in the Rehab again exercising'. And sure enough, here's Bill
out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And Bill comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident
and severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and
transports it and Bill to hospital. Next day he goes in and asks
the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says,
'He's dead.'
Tom is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally
did him in.'
No,' says the nurse, 'Some idiot put his head in a
plastic bag and he suffocated.'
____________
The wife appeared before the judge and said, "I want a
divorce from that jerk over there."
The judge said, "Why do you want the divorce?" "Because he's a
terrible lover." The judge asked, "How long have you been married?"
"Fourteen years," she replied.
"I don't understand. Why did you wait fourteen years to divorce your
husband for being a terrible lover?"
She said, "Because your Honor, until this insurance salesman stopped
by my house last week, I didn't know the difference."
____________
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is
her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions.
She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much
will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and
pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"
____________
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Daddy Time
http://www.buffalos
Elastic Band
http://www.buffalos
Working Late
http://www.buffalos
____________
LAB LAUGHS
A Different Kind Of Hunting
http://www.lablaugh
Redneck Xing
http://www.lablaugh
You Are Not Allergic
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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