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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FREE POLAR FLEECE BLANKET
http://www.tinyurl.
FREE CHOCOLATE LOVERS PLANTERS NUTS
http://www.tinyurl.
I now have the definitive answer!
Does size really matter?
Men, in answer to this question...
when it comes to the ladies, I must
answer most emphatically that NO,
size does NOT matter!!!!!!
Its TRUE!!! Even 2 and a half inches
can satisfy a woman when used properly:
Now on a more serious note, let me advise you of the
latest computer threat. There is a dangerous virus being passed
around electronically, orally, and by hand.
This virus is called Worm-Overload-
If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues,
your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.
This virus will wipe out your private life Completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your
jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store.
Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-
Neutralizer-
Elimination-
Take the antidote.
Repeat until WORK has been completely
eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to 5 friends.
If you do not have 5 friends, you have already
been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
The best way to protect yourself from this latest threat....
Be sure to read your POSTMAN'S CORNER! every day!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
3 FREE boxes of Stouffer's mac n cheese
http://www.tinyurl.
THE COMICS
have I been good?
http://www.thepostm
executive training academy
http://www.thepostm
more passion?
http://www.thepostm
your test results
http://www.thepostm
in memory
http://www.thepostm
a date gone bad
http://www.thepostm
farm lessons
http://www.thepostm
constipation
http://www.thepostm
trick or treat
http://www.thepostm
oh shit
http://www.thepostm
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
Crazy frog
http://www.thepostm
crazy frog popcorn
http://www.thepostm
Jurrasic Fart
http://www.thepostm
in the jungle
http://www.thepostm
the evolution of dance
http://www.thepostm
skeleton prank
http://www.thepostm
on the NYC subway
http://www.thepostm
FREE CHEESE CAKE FROM THE
CHEESE CAKE FACTORY
http://www.tinyurl.
Father Joseph went up to Father Patrick one afternoon and said,
"I am sick of all this clean living. Tonight let's you and me go
out and party. We'll carouse, drink, whatever we want."
Patrick was shocked. "Are you crazy? This is a small town and
everyone knows us. Besides, even if they didn't, they would see
our clothes and know we were priests."
Joe was ready for this. "Don't be silly. We won't stay in town,
we'll go into the city where nobody knows us, and we'll dress
just like anyone else."
In the end, he managed to persuade Patrick, and they went out
that night and partied like professionals.
When they got back home at 5:00 AM, Patrick's face became pale.
"I just thought of something," he said.
"We have to confess this."
Again, Joe was ready. "Relax, I told you I thought this all out
in advance. Tomorrow, you go into church and into the
confessional. I will come in my regular clothes and confess, and
you absolve me. Then I'll go put on my garments, you come in and
confess, and I'll absolve you."
Patrick was amazed at Joe's brilliance.
So Joseph went in later that morning and said, "Father forgive
me, for I have sinned. My friend and I, we're both young men, and
last night we went out and caroused. We became drunk, had carnal
knowledge of prostitutes, used foul language,
and danced to wicked music."
Patrick answered, "God is patient and forgiving, and thus shall I
be. Do five Our Fathers and five Hail Marys, and you will be
absolved of your sin."
A while later, their places were reversed as Patrick came in and
confessed everything in detail.
There was a short pause, and Joseph answered,
"I don't believe this. And you dare to call yourself a priest?
You will do 500 Our Fathers, 500 Hail Marys, donate all your
money to the church, and go around the church 500 times on your
knees praying for God's forgiveness. Then come back and we'll
discuss absolution, but I make no guarantees."
"What? " Father Patrick was shocked. "What about our agreement?"
Joe replied, "Hey, what I do on my time off is one thing, but I
take my job seriously."
____________
There was a man who woke up one morning with a red
ring around his member. Astonished by this, he
panicked and hurried to the emergency room.
The E.R. doctor looked at it and gave the man
some lotion to rub on it twice a day. He advised
that if there were no positive results he should
come back the next day. This went on for three
days, until a new nurse happened to be in the
same ER. She asked if she could suggest something.
The doctor, now at his wit's end because he
wasn't able to cure the problem, agreed to let
the nurse try her hand.The nurse gave the man
a tube of lotion, and advised the patient to rub
it very gently on his member before he when
to bed. The man went home and followed
her instructions. The very next day he stopped
by the hospital, happy as a lark! He found
the nurse and doctor and thanked them for
all their help. As the man left, the doctor turned
to the nurse and asked what the miracle lotion was.
The nurse smiled and replied, "Lip stick remover."
____________
Little Johnny had just learned to count on his fingers.
One day his uncle came to visit and Little Johnny was
anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He asked
his uncle to give him an addition question. So his uncle
asked, "What is three plus four?"
Little Johnny counted it out on his fingers and said, "Seven."
His uncle said, "Listen Little Johnny, you can't count
it out on your hands because someday when you are in
school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put
your hands in your pockets."
So Little Johnny put his hands in his pockets and his
uncle asked, "What is five plus five?"
His uncle saw movement in Little Johnny's pockets, and
then Little Johnny said, "Eleven!"
____________
My wife's friend, a teacher, was discussing compound
nouns with her class. "They're made up of two or more
words," she said. "For example, 'townhouse' or 'boxcar.'
Can anyone think of another one?"
One boy raised his hand and offered, "Asphalt."
____________
The doctor explains to the heart patient that he would
be able to resume his sex life as soon as he could climb
two flights of stairs without becoming winded.
The patient listens attentively and then says,
"What if I look for women who live on the ground floor?"
____________
BUFFALO Bills
cartoons
No Touching
http://www.buffalos
Smoking
http://www.buffalos
Police
http://www.buffalos
____________
LAB LAUGHS
Not Easy
http://www.lablaugh
Need To Cut Down
http://www.lablaugh
swim suit
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
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