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(made in the USA)
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
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Well, I went to my yearly physical yesterday.
Aside from a little glitch in the EKG machine, the doc gave me a big "OK" Thats a good thing. He didn't have to add to my long list of pills that I take.
The pharmacist will have to be satisfied with the status quo. So last night, I was rather happy when I got home. I shared the good news with "the war department." I suggested that perhaps a little
"Action" might be in order to celebrate. But apparently she didn't see things the same way that I did.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
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THE COMICS
rolling in it
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http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i023. html bringing literature to life
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i024. html nice things
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i025. html a special model
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i026. html whats easier
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i027. html Virgil's new litterbox
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i029. html the deans list
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/i030. html LETS GO TO THE MOVIEStv commercials
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies626 .html the sports car
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________________
The Postal Service created a 41-cent first-class stamp with a picture of President Bush. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes, which enraged
the President,who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing, a special presidential commission presented the following findings:
1) The stamp is in perfect order.
2) There is nothing wrong with the appliedadhesive.
3) People are spitting on the wrong side
_________________
Q: What do walking a tightrope across the Grand Canyon and getting a blowjob
from a 90 year old women have in common?
A: They both are all right so long as you don't look down.Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they want to be on a first name basis with the person who makes
95% of their decisions.Q: What's Reagan's position on alzheimer's
A: What was the question.Q. Why is President Reagan like an old typewriter?
A. Because he has no memory and trouble with his colon.Q: What does it taste like when you go down on an 80 year old woman?
A: Depends.Q: What do old women have between their breaststhat young women don't?A: A bellybutton!Q: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?
A: Bingo!
__________________ There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm gal.
The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile.
Well, the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, "The rhythm method." "That will work," said the counselor, "if you keep a good record."
He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. "I plan on using birth control pills," she said. Again he said, "Yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them." He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was, "The pail and saucer method." After a short delay, he told her that should also work. He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things were going.They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet. Well, the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She replied, "I used the rhythm method but somehow got my notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby."He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied, "The birth control pill. But we were camping one weekend and I didn't
have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby." He turns to the farm gal. "I vaguely remember you were going to use the
pail and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is. Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you?" She replied, "Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down.
Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him."
__________________ Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation.
How can you tell that Doctor Victor Frankenstein had a good sense of humor?
Because he kept his monster in stitches.
Where does Dracula water ski?
In Lake Erie, off course.
What do you call a merry-go-round for ghosts?
A Scare-ousel
Why did the other kids have to let the vampire play baseball?
It was his bat.
_______________ On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!" I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared
directly into the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am! That's why she cuts the grass."
________________
BUFFALO'S
MoviesMotorola Pagers
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 22640.htm Piano Duet
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 22641.htm LAB LAUGHShe Bitch Stole My Fish
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20070715THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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