Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
GM currently sells a sub compact called the Aveo that is made
in Korea. The auto companies have imported most small cars
to be able to make a profit on them as labor costs were too
high to build them here. Today the UAW announced that they
were approving a reduction in wages of 50% for 40% of the
crew at one of the Orion Twp plants. The plant is currently closed
and will begin making cars next spring. This means that instead
of getting a 29.00 per hour salary, they will be receiving 15.00
an hour plus benefits. I know that's a heck of a drop but when
you have been unemployed for a year and eventually those benefits
will cease, and there are thousands more unemployed workers than
jobs available, I would jump on it in a heartbeat. I know that a 50%
drop in wages will cause a major change in lifestyle but nothing
as great as being out of a job completely will. If they had made
changes earlier perhaps Chrysler and GM never would have went
bankruptcy but in the end I think the union folded under pressure
by state governments to show some type of job creation for the
trillions
we have spent.
Enjoy the chips....buffalo
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A link on MSNBC.COM explained why the "Hire The Mentally Handicapped
Program" has taken on such a foothold at Burger King...... The King
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Holy shit. Can you just see it now?
"Hi, this is AOL / Time / Warner / Burger King, how can I help you?"
"My hamburger isn't done the way I want it."
"Did you install salt and pepper, mustard and ketchup?"
"No, I didn't."
"You have to install those before it'll work, sir."
"But I don't want mustard and ketchup on my hamburger!"
"Are you using the latest version of Hamburger Bun?"
"Jesus, I would hope so!"
"Just flip the bottom bun over and click on 'About.'"
"If I flip it over, all of the meat will fall out!"
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"Orange is *good*???"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
what time is it
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the paper
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rewarding
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Random Chips
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"You wouldn't sleep with Angelina Jolie for a million dollars, would
you?", asked the cuddling wife. "Don't be ridiculous," said the
husband. "How am I gonna raise a million dollars?"
Did you hear about the circumciser who missed? He got the sack.
Okay, so the Viagra my boyfriend took was still having an effect
hours later -- does that give him the right to go running to the
emergency room asking to see the head nurse?
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
"Just try to relax, this won't take long," said the gynecologist
trying to calm the obviously nervous young blonde patient. "Haven't
you ever been examined like this before?" he asked. "Yeah, sure,"
she replied, "but not by a doctor!"
What do you Call a period?
A waste of fuckin' time.
What does a prostitute have at the end of her shift?
A box of Assorted Creams!
What's a dildo farmer's greatest threat?
Squatters.
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Slogan Chips
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Rejected Slogans
Microsoft:
"How much are you going to pay today?"
Penis Enlargement Specialists:
"It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing!"
Eggs:
"The Incredible Edible Ovum."
Iguana:
"The other green meat."
Daisy Air Rifles:
"Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years."
Nike:
"Just buy the damn shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"
Radio Shack:
"You've got questions; we've got geek losers!"
Canon Photocopiers:
"Quit calling them 'Xeroxes', dammit!"
Trojans:
"Just add meat."
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Nun Chips
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A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the
VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why
he is staring.
He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend
you.'
She answers, ' My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I
am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see
and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you
could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and
#2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and
Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker
blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts
crying. 'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married
and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Baby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to a surgeon and convinces him that he wants to have the
experience of having a baby.
"Impossible," says the surgeon.
"But I need that experience," insists the man.
Eventually the surgeon agrees, and tells the man to come back next
day for the operation.
Next day he is put out and operated on. When he comes around he asks
the surgeon if the operation was successful.
"Yes, perfect."
"When will I have the experience of having a baby?" asks the man.
"Just as soon as you have drunk this pint of olive oil," says the
surgeon.
"How's that going to give me the experience?"
"Because I have sewn up your ass.
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Promises
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Midi Music
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Little Johnny Chips
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A well-dressed businessman was walking down the
street when Little Johnny, covered in soot said
to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell me the
time?"
The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his
coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a
vest pocket, looked at it and said, "It is a
quarter to three, young man."
"Thanks," said Johnny. "At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my
ass."
With that, the kid took off running, and with an
angry cry, the outraged businessman started
chasing him. He has not been running long when an
old friend stopped him. "Why are you running like
this at your age?" asked the friend.
Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the
businessman said, "That little brat asked me the
time and when I told him it was quarter to three
he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss
his ass!" "So what's your hurry?" said the
friend. "You still have ten minutes."
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Toon Chips
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blind les
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was a nurse, and he a cop rookie
From work they decided to play hooky,
From the break of dawn
Well into mid-morn
They sure enjoyed their breakfast nookie
A carpenter living in Crewe,
Who had nothing whatever to do,
Once assisted a whore
With the hinge of her door,
But he made her pay for the screw.
My boss is a fellow named Sid
With the mind of an eight-year-old kid
Just outside his door
A sign said, "Wet floor,"
Sid saw it, and read it ... and did!
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following was seen by millions of viewers on a spanish
tvchannel:. The parents of a teenage girl decided to put their
daughter's name forward for a surprise game-show - she idolised
teenage pop star "ricky martin" - and they arranged for tv cameras
to be placed throughout the house. The house was then left empty
with ricky martin hidden in the wardrobe in the girl's bedroom, all
set to give the daughter a wonderful surprise. However, upon
returning home from school and finding the house empty, the daughter
made her way down to the kitchen where she opened the fridge and
removed a tin of pati. At this stage the live tv audience is
wondering what the hell is going on. She then went back upstairs to
her bedroom where she proceeded to remove all her clothes and spread
pati all over her triangle of womanhood (at this stage ricky martin
is still hidden inside the wardrobe, and half of spain is seeing a
young girl stark naked on the bed with pati all over her crotch). As
if the parents were not shocked enough by this, the daughter then
calls the family dog, who obediently trots up the stairs and settles
down to his favourite meal of "pati on a bed of seaweed". At this
stage the order is given to cut the broadcast, leaving a very
embarrassed set of parents in front of a live studio audience!
consequently, sales of tinned pati have rocketed.
Stan Kegel
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1890
Caldwell's Chili Consumption Festival
BJ: I wonder where Rudy went?
Diana: I do not know. I see Katie, she has
eaten just a little.
BJ: She always eats just a little.
Diana: There is Val and Sandi they seem to
be eating a lot.
Val: I love Chili...I really love Chili. I want more.
Sandi: Yes, it is good. However, I wish you would not
eat so much with beans.
Val: Why?
Sandi: You will find out little one.
Rudy strolls up with an inflated tummy: Oh I am miserable, but I
feel great.
Sandi: Are we ready to head home and nap?
Rudy: Can someone carry me home?
Val: Are you kidding me?
to be continued
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Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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