Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The memorial get together for Nancy was held on Saturday in
the Soo Township Hall and attended by 80-100 of Nancy's friends
and family. Nancy had remarked that if she had a memorial service,
no one would come, I think she would have been amazed by the
number of people that showed up to say good-bye and those that
couldn't travel, that left a nice note at the funeral homes guest
book.
Because Saturday is a really bad day for a Memorial Service, we
were unable to secure a priest or minister as there were a number
of funerals already scheduled and we waited too long. Even the
Pagans were busy preparing for Halloween so instead the family
shared stories of Nancy and then we settled down for a delicious
meal prepared by Nancy's co-workers at the Cozy Inn. If you ever
decide to go to Bay Mill's Casino, I suggest you stop and try their
fish fry or steaks and burgers. Most places up here do have great
fish but the Cozy is right across from where it is caught in Lake
Superior.
The boys also got enough donations to pay about half of the costs
of shipping her body to Michigan State. I know Nancy would have
enjoyed attending a Big Ten school but I wonder if she could get
some grants and student aid to get her there heh heh. You
probably can in Chicago, they value their deceased there.
My sense of humor is almost back to normal and we will see if we
can get everything else back to normal. 68 degrees here today
and good weather for the week, I guess that qualifies for Indian
Summer. Enjoy the chips ... buffalo
A Newsletter You may enjoy
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Radio Chips
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A CORK radio station was running a competition - words that weren't
in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would
make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96 FM here, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Dave."
DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"
Caller: "Goan... spelt G-O-A-N pronounced 'go-an'."
DJ: "You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now,
for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that
would make sense?"
Caller: "Goan fuck yourself!"
The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful
until:
DJ: "96 FM, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Jeff."
DJ: "Jeff, what's your word?"
Caller: "Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'."
DJ: "You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now,
for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that
would make sense?"
Caller: "Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pay Chips
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Bobby Ray and Susie Jane were fooling around out in the cornfield
when Bobby Ray said, "Oh Susie Jane, I am getting so horny, you just
have to let me have some." Susie Jane said, "Well, maybe I will, but
it is going to cost you a quarter." Bobby Ray dug down in his pocket
and said, "Susie Jane, I only got ten cents, and you just have to
let me do it for ten cents." Susie Jane said, "Ain't no way I am
goin to do it for no ten cents, I said a quarter."
Bobby Ray said, "I tell you what Susie Jane, how about you just give
me ten cents worth?" Susie Jane said, "You must think I be crazy,
cause you know you won't stop when I say you got ten cents worth.
Bobby Ray said, "Oh Susie Jane, I promise, I promise I will stop
when you say I got ten cents worth." So they get down between two
rows of corn and start going at it. After about a minute, Susie Jane
said, "Bobby Ray, BOBBY RAY" and he said, "Oh Susie Jane, now don't
tell me I have got ten cents worth already", and she said, "Bobby
Ray, do you see that big cornstalk over there on your left side? And
Bobby Ray said, "Uhuh." And she said, "Bobby Ray, do you see that
big cornstalk over there on your right side?" Bobby Ray said,
"Uhuh."
Susie May said, "BOBBY RAY, you better grab ahold of those two big
cornstalks, cause I'm a fixin to loan you fifteen cents".
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Clothed Chips
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"Things Not To Do In The Nude"
Fry bacon.
Do some arc-welding.
Bathe a cat.
Start a gas-powered snow blower.
Clear a patch of poison ivy.
Insulate the attic with fiberglass.
Operate a lathe.
Present a children's television show.
Take Mass with the Pope.
Pick up a dime from a San Francisco sidewalk.
Gilbert
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Surprise Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An anonymous girl, let's call her Jen, is a junior in college
attending school in Colorado. Like all college students, she is
wrapped up in the partying and the wildness college life has to
offer. Jen, being the computer science major that she is, does,
however, have a lot of work to do on her computer so when she's not
out having a good time, she's working her butt off designing
computer programs and installing software. One day, soon after she
had broken up with her boyfriend, she was home alone on a Friday
night for the first time in the three years they had been dating.
She was sad, alone, and depressed, so she decided to make a new
homepage. She was playing on the net when she decided to get onto a
chat line. Being the wild psycho she is, she decided to get onto a
sex line. So, then Jen got onto a sex chat line and started playing
around on it. Over the line, she met a guy who identified himself as
Jeremy. She started playing with him, gave a false name, saying her
name was "Katie," and started getting into detail about what she
would like to do to him with her tongue. He responded by telling her
to picture being naked while his hands ran over every square inch of
her body. Soon they were having cybersex. This went on for awhile,
and then she got off the line agreeing to meet him back on the line
the following night. Saturday night rolls around, and Jen is on the
line with jeremy again, they become even closer this night, so they
continue like this for a week. At the end of the week, they started
talking about other things, and got into very intimate issues and
feelings. They became close, exchanging their lives, jen didnt' tell
Jeremy she was in college, because she was afraid of sounding like
an immature college girl. She felt guilty, but after a few weeks,
she really liked this guy. This went on the two of them like this
for months, and months turned into a year. By the end of the year
they had exchanged the most intimate thoughts, and yet had never
even spoken on the phone. They were afraid of ruining the mystery.
They had done everything sexually possible over the net, they were
affectionate as well, waiting for the day that they could some day
be together. They finally decided they had had enough. They wanted
to meet each other, they were in love and they had to meet. They
didn't care about age or looks or anything but each other. Jeremy
told Jen he thought she could be his next wife. Jen was wary at
first but decided she didn't care how old he was or how ugly, she
loved him, he was the only one she could feel comfortable with.
so...they planned a trip to meet in Vale, Colorado.
They were going to spend the weekend together and finally meet. Jen
didn't want the hassle of having to find him, so she said, "Why
don't you just get the room and we'll meet in the room. That way
there will be no mistake." Jeremy agreed. Jen showed up at the
resort first, and checked into the room telling the desk lady to
hold the key for the next party. So she went into the room. She
wanted things to be special so she lit some candles, and put on some
music. She stripped naked and climbed into the bed under the covers,
deciding to surprise Jeremy when he got there. The time soon came
the lights were out, the mood was right, and she heard a key in the
door, she heard someone walk in and around the corner, and she
whispered, "Jeremy", Jeremy said, "Katie?" (this was the false name
she had given him.) "Yes," she said, so he fumbled for the light,
and turned it on to see Jen on the bed naked before him. Then next
thing heard around the world were two blood curling screams. Jen
covered herself up, and with her most humiliated voice said, "Dad?"
and Jeremy said, "JEN!!!"
Think of what you would do in this situation.. and, now realize this
really did happen. Their lives will never be the same.
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Mafia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mafia Valentine's Day Greetings
My love for you...
it came and went.
So your feet are now
in wet cement.
I'm here to fulfill
your fondest wishes
Now that your husband
sleeps with the fishes.
Lie down with me
It's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying
wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
I picked up this card
from a slim selection,
But that's all they offer
in witness protection.
Love, J. Doe
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Melva/Footprints
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Bootdisk.Com
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Halloween Midis
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Music Loops
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Movie Links
Midgey
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Momma Is Santa
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Morning Peepers
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Moshonov
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Mother's Day
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Moulin Huge
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Love Boat
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Lucha
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Lucky 1
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm Joe Friday, private eye. I work on Tuesday, Tuesday's my
secretary.
Yesterday I was working in my New York office when there was a knock
at the door, scared me half out of my secretary.
Then a tall blonde walked by, I knew she was tall 'cause we were on
the 7th floor.
The phone rang. It was a client. I knew something was wrong because
she told me there was.
I raced down the stairs, called a taxi, the taxi stopped with a
jerk, the jerk got out and I got in. (continued)
We took the corner at 80 miles an hour. A cop stopped us and told us
to put it back.
Then we were driving on the sidewalk because there was a sign that
said "keep deaths off the roads".
We were getting further out of the city. I knew this because we
weren't hitting so many pedestrians.
When I got to my client's house she greeted me with a burning kiss.
Then she took her cigarette out and kissed me again.
There was a man on the floor. He had bullet wounds to the head and
stab wounds to the heart. He was dead so we went for a drive in the
country.
Then a brick came through the window, hit her on the left breast and
broke four of my fingers.
We got a flat tire. She pumped and I pumped, she pumped and I
pumped. Then we got out and fixed the tire.
When we got back to my clients house she invited me in for a root
beer. The root was nice but the beer was flat.
I was giving her a goodnight kiss but she closed her legs and broke
my glasses.
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aol Toilet
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apple
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apples
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riddle Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's worse than a cardboard box?
A: Paper tits!
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Q: How do you tell if a chick's too fat to fuck?
A: When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.
Q: What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
A: Did you ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
Q: What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
A: A block of flaps
Q: What do rednecks do for Halloween?
A: Pump kin.
Q: What is 60 foot long and stinks of piss?
A: A conga in an old people's home!
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer
Q: What's the difference between toilet paper and toast?
A: Toast is brown on both sides.
Q: Did you hear about the Polish porno flick?
A: It's called: " Debbie does nothing. "
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was late Saturday night and the preacher hadn't been able to
think of a sermon for the next morning. About 9:00 p.m. he finally
said to his wife, "Dear, I think I have come up with the perfect
sermon! I'm going to give a sermon about horseback riding!"
She said, "Don't be silly! You can't give a sermon about horseback
riding!"
He replied, "Well, it's going to have to do because I've preached on
just about every other subject I can think of."
The next morning as they were driving to church, she said, "You
know, if you're going to give that silly sermon on horseback riding,
I'm just going to sit in the car during the service because I'll be
too embarrassed for you."
"OK, then, suit yourself!" he replied. So, she stayed in the car.
Sitting in front of the church before the service, the preacher had
a sudden inspiration and gave a hell-fire and brimstone sermon on
SEX, and just had the congregation in awe.
As the congregation filed out of the church, some of the members saw
the wife sitting in the car and approached her window. "Wow! You
just missed the best sermon your husband has ever given!"
She replied, "Ah, what does he know about it? He's only tried it
twice in his entire life. Once on a church picnic while we were
dating, and once at my father's house after we were married. And,
despite holding on for dear life, he fell off both times!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1887
The Likes of Shane
The family had just finished watching the movie "Shane", the classic
with Alan Ladd. Dad was on the couch and at the end of the movie,
Sandi moved a bit closer to dad.
BJ: What's the matter Sandi?
Sandi: I know how that boy feels Daddy. It is painful when you
leave on Sundays...it hurts a lot.
BJ: It hurts me to Sandi, but unlike the movie where Shane is
injured and probably will not live and is he did live, would never
return, I am okay and come back in just a few days.
Sandi: Yes, but the days seem so long.
BJ: Come here girl and let me muss you up.
Sandi: Okay, I know I am just a silly girl...but..
The weekend goes by fast as usual. The time comes. BJ loads the
pickup. Katie hops in the pickup. BJ offers Sandi to go with him.
She refuses. BJ starts the pickup and backs out of the driveway but
today something is different....
Sandi is chasing him, chasing Dad, not the truck. One block and BJ
pulls over. Sandi points at Dad then back towards the house. The
meaning is clear... "Return home." BJ opens the pickup door as if
to say, "You have a choice." Sandi backpedals. She is home.
BJ and Kate drive off and Sandi with her slumped shoulders heads
home.
The herd
(This is exactly what happened. Two torn hearts. Who says we
cannot communicate with dogs?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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