THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The man who views the world at 50 the same
As he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
~Muhammad Ali~
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I'm pretty sure that women are simply programmed to bring
a disaster to a man's trip to the bathroom. Forget about
the "toilet seat" up issue. That's all nonsense. What I'm
talkling about is the "I gotta pee...sliding rug syndrome."
Every married man has it, and I bet you didn't even realize it,
did you, guys? yep. that's right. Think about it. You gotta
take a leak, right? First let me fix a couple misconceptions
here, too. Women go "potty." Men take a "leak." That's the nature
of it. Anyways, I digress here. Getting back to the story,
you walk in, drop the old barn door, then search for willie, right?
What's the first thing you do? Plant the old left hand firmly
against the wall, then, aim willie in the general direction.
Then you do that little balancing act, lean forward and let
it fly!!! There you have it. You're expecting one of those
moments of life's little pleasures, and what happens. Its
that silly little bathroom floor rug. Your feet go sliding
backward, and involunarily before you are done you're pushing
it away from the commode! And what happens? OMG. your feet
slide outward from sliding on the commode rug,
it throws off your aim, and now you got pee on the floor.!!!
See, women have learned to sabotage male pleasure and they don't
even know it. The culprit is the bathroom floor commode rug.
They are probably made, manufactured and sold by companies
who sell chemicals that clean bathroom floors. They have done
so much succesfull advertising that they have convinced every
married woman in America that you have to have a bathroom floor
commode rug. Brainwashed all of em. yep. Then they gotta
go out and buy all them spensive cleaning chemicals to clean
the bathroom floor!
Its a conspiracy!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
wait his turn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b011.html
hurry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b012.html
maternity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b013.html
lets celebrate
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b014.html
daddy and his daughter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b015.html
fixin your sign
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b016.html
the eye chart
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b017.html
you're late
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b018.html
at the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b019.html
Winnie the pooh and piglet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b020.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
new secret weapon against rapists
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5467.html
tennis balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5468.html
truck blow up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5469.html
need glasses?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5470.html
incredible bird
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5471.html
One day the professor was discussing a particularly
complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted,
demanding, "Why do we have to learn all this stuff?"
"To save lives," the professor responded quickly, and
continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
"So, how exactly does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the idiots out of medical school," replied the
professor.
[Now if we only had something to keep the idiots out of
LAW School.]
____________
Q: What would you get if you crossed a computer, a slob,
and an Olympic athlete?
A: A sloppy, floppy discus thrower.
Q: What did the colonists wear at the Boston Tea party.
A: T-shirts.
_____________
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what
their parents did for a living.
"Mary, what do your parents do?"
Lil' Mary replied "My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse."
"Thats very nice," said the teacher,
"Robert, what do your parents do?"
Robert proudly exclaimed ,"My dad is a policeman and
my mom is a teacher!"
"Thats very nice," said the teacher ,
"Johnny, what do your parents do?"
He stood up and pronounced, "My dad's dead and my mom's a hooker."
Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's
office. Fifteen minutes later, he returned.
"Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" asked the teacher.
Johnny replied, "Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important,
gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."
______________
A woman confided to her girlfriend, "My ex-husband wants to marry me again."
The friend said, "How flattering."
The woman replied, "Not really. I think he's after the money I
married him for."
_____________
One man was talking to another at the temple. He asked,
"So where is that boy of yours?"
"Josh is in college," the second man replied.
"What's he taking?"
The second man grimaced,. "Every cent I have."
_________
My father says, "Marry a girl who has the same belief as the
family." I said, "Dad , why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a
schmuck?"
- Adam Sandler
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BUFFALO BILL
Ozzy Osbourne: The early days
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32148.htm
Off The Mark
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32146.htm
Instant Asshole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32147.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Sweaty Man Ass
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001592.html
Pussy Pole Dancing
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001593.html
_________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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