Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Since I haven't told you a sea story in a long time here is
one from the archives which we will finish tomorrow.
In order to launch a modern jet in addition to accelerating
it past its stall point , you also normally need thirty knots
of wind across the flight deck and when the weather doesn't
provide it you must move the carrier into the wind and count
on your propulsion to do it. On the older carriers with
eight boilers and 4 70,000 hp. main engines you could do it
with 5 boilers and 2 main engines and enough auxiliary
equipment to keep them running. The rest of the machinery
allowed you redundancy in the event of mechanical failure
or war damage and allows you to do maintenance. I was a
boilermaker at the time and we were doing repairs to the
two boilers in number 2 machinery room. The main engine was
getting steam from number 3 machinery room and they had
taken the chain driven oil pump down to the machine shop to
be repaired. Although it was preferred to have this pump
operating there was two other pumps, one driven by steam
and one electric and everyone was confident there would be
no problems. Murphy had other plans though and number 3
MMR had a casualty that threatened to send water into steam
turbines weighing tons and traveling thousands of rpms. They
did exactly what they were supposed to and closed the
steam valves. With no steam the generators shut down and
there we were going about 25 knots with no oil pressure.
The only way to stop the damage was to stop the propeller
and that required stopping an 80,000 ton ship with only
two of four propellers. With two engines down that was like
stopping a semi with just the front brakes. It took about
four miles to accomplish that.
The two mile stopping distance on a carrier is with all
four main engines doing an emergency astern. The turbine
elements for astern operation are smaller and only put
out 9,000 hp each. Even so when that power is applied
to a propeller that is 21 feet in diameter with five
blades it causes the ship to hop like when you lock your
brakes up on a rough piece of road. As soon as lines
were drained steam was sent back into the two spaces,
electricity from forward generators was connected to
the switchboards and fires were lit in number three
machinery rooms boilers. We were glad for the power because
when you are thirty feet down in the bowels of the ship
in a hot machinery room the temperature climbs to
120 degrees very quickly. We were all in good shape but
the main engine had bearing damage in both the turbine
and reduction gear sections. Bearing metal made of lead and
tin had melted and looked like sponges. The Navy does
not own the main engines, they are leased for 99 years
from GE, Westinghouse, or DeLaval . Even as we got back
underway with the damaged engine shaft locked so it could
not turn a message was being dispatched to the Philippines
requesting General Electric personnel to conduct an
inspection and repair the main engine. We went back to
normal ops limping around with three propellers from
Yankee Station as even though we had stopped bombing
N. Vietnam we were still providing support to the troops
on the ground in S. Vietnam.
The Navy decide that we required two weeks in port to
complete repairs and when parts and repair personnel
arrived from the states we headed to the yards at Subic.
What happens onboard your ship can affect every ship
around you and this was no different. My friend Dave
from Murphy was onboard the USS Midway at the time and
she was loaded up with the usual souvenirs from a WestPac
and ready to head back to the states after along deployment.
They unloaded the motorbikes and stereos and tapestries
and headed back out to Yankee Station to fly our missions
for the time we were in repair. That cruise the Midway
was out on Yankee Station for 208 days which is probably
more than the carrier cruises during the Iraq and Afghan
wars.
In order to make it easier to repair the bearings and
turn the gears the shaft was uncoupled so that it would
not have to turn a 45,000 pound propeller. Finally repairs
close to complete, we headed back to Yankee station with
GE and Yard people onboard and doing the fitting of
the bearings.
The rest of the story tomorrow... buffalo
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do you call a hippie's wife?
A: Mississippi.
Q: Why do barbers make good drivers?
A: Because they know all the short cuts.
Q: Do you know why doctors slap babies on the butt after they
are born?
A: It knocks the dicks off of the dumb ones.
"No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her shit."
--- Men's Room, Main Street Saloon, Akron Ohio
How to make God laugh?
Tell him your future plans.
--- Woody Allen
A guy comes home after losing a lot of money, playing golf. A few
minutes later his wife comes home from work with a new fur coat. Her
husbands says "Hey how did you get this?" She says that her boss won
the
lotto and this is her share. This happens a few times, first the
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The penis-enlarging pills my boyfriend bought online must be
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The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day I shall burst my buds of calm and blossom into hysteria.
Q. What do you call a cow who has just given birth?
A. Decaffeinated <Grooaaaann>
Kentucky Scientists discover new use for sheep: WOOL.
The most common form of marriage proposal:
"YOU'RE WHAT!?" <Thanx Jim>
Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people
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What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
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Q. What is the definition of Blood, Sweat and Tears?
A. A blonde standing in front of a tampon machine with a bent
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I have discovered that the flu is both affirmative and negative.
Sometimes the eyes have it and sometimes the nose.
Don't try to catch snowflakes on you tongue until all
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What should you do in case of fallout?
Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
One day of coal
364 days of fun.......
The choice is obvious to me...
Two older men sat on a bench in the park. One said, "I
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The other man said, "I don't like raw oysters, and to
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There will be no weapon inspections done in Iraq for the next two
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There are so many lawyers in the world, that if you were to lay them
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There was a young lady from Cue
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it too."
Signs of Spring in New York City:
1-Crack dens take down storm windows.
2-Lovely pastel colors used for chalk body outlines.
3-Garbage collectors start going topless.
Q: If faced with the choice, what disease would you rather have
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Grocery store clerks make you pick paper or plastic because baggers
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"Mom, I'm pregnant." said Wendy.
"How can that be?" Mom replied, "What did I tell you
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Love is like a roller coaster: When it's good you don't want to get
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It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: They have no
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
These two guys were talking how they wanted to die.
One said he wanted to die in his sleep so he wouldn't
have any pain.
The other said he wanted to die like a rat.
His friend said," how's that? "
He said, "I wanna jump in bed and let that pussy eat
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was taking a shower in the presence
of his three-year-old daughter.
Looking at her dad, the little girl said, "Daddy,
you have a penis."
The father said, "Yes, I do."
The girl considered a moment, and then said,
"I don't have a penis."
Dad said, "Yes, that's right."
More consideration, then the little girl said,
"Mommy doesn't have a penis."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1600
El Scorcho
The gang arrive at the starting point.
Tami: My stomach is feeling a bit tight.
Sandi: Let me see that vitamin bottle.
Rudy hands it over.
Sandi: This is a diarrhetic not vitamins.
Rudy: So?
Sandi: This will make her go to the bathroom... a lot.
Tami: Anyone know where the bathroom is?
Katie: I saw one over the hill.
Tami: I will be right back.
Katie: Hurry the race is about to start.
Rudy: Sorry, I got it out of the medicine cabinet.
Sandi: Well we need to get her lots of water, she could get
dehydrated.
Rudy: Okay, I will get her a lot of fluids.
A few minutes later Tami comes back huffing and puffing...
Tami: I am out of breath but feeling better...
Katie: Hurry the race is about to start..
Loudspeaker: 3, 2, 1 ... GO!
Tami: Good grief, I am really ready, but here goes.
Rudy: Go Tami!
Sandi: Go Tami!
Katie: Go Tami!
Tami: Is there another Bathroom?
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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