THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
~Lily Tomlin
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GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS!
Sorry things are a little brief today.
I had to reformat Leo, my computer. He managed
to come down with a bad case of ad ware yesterday.
Being he is 7 years old it can take a little time
to put things back the way they belong. my restore
disc is so old it has a lot of crap I have to accomplish
to use the restore disc. But anyway, such as it is,
here is today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
how was I to know?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y071.html
smoking section
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y072.html
realistic picture
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y073.html
Mr. McCarthy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y074.html
how can you tell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y075.html
gonna be late
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y076.html
amusement park
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y077.html
mean people suck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y078.html
religions of the world
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y079.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Saturday night live. Dick-in-a-box
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5374.html
basketball dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5375.html
bannanas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5376.html
be careful where you decide to take a dump
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5377.html
evolve quicker
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5378.html
baby accidents
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5379.html
casual friday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5380.html
The Vocapeople
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5385.html
sexy underwear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5384.html
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.
"Mary, what do your parents do?"
Lil' Mary replied "My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse."
"That's very nice," said the teacher, "Robert, what do your parents do?"
Robert proudly exclaimed ,"My dad is a policeman and my mom is a teacher!"
"That's very nice," said the teacher , "Johnny, what do your parents do?"
He stood up and pronounced, "My dad's dead and my mom's a hooker."
Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office.
Fifteen minutes later, he returned.
"Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" asked the teacher.
Johnny replied, "Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important,
gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."
__________________
When young José , newly arrived in the United States, made his first
trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched
by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch
near the American flag. Later, José wrote home enthusiastically about
his experience: "And the Americans, they are so friendly! Before the
game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang 'José, can
you see?'"
_________________
A woman, while on maternity leave from the office, brought in her new
bundle of joy and her seven-year old son. While everyone was gathered
around the baby, the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money
for a soda?" "What do you say?" she asked. Respectfully, the boy
answered, "You're thin and beautiful." Without further comment,
his mother reached for her purse and gave her son the money.
________________
The Minister was shaking everyone's hand while
They were leaving the Church, an elderly gentleman
Said, "Reverend that was the worst sermon I've ever
Listened to, it was terrible."
While the Minister remained speechless, the
Gentleman's' wife wanting to be helpful said,
"Reverend, please don't listen to him, he only
Repeats what he hears other people saying."
_____________
An elderly couple was sitting on the out porch when the husband
turned to his wife and, "Muffin, I feel like making love tonight".
The wife replied, "Ok Ernest, I will let you, but be gentle this time."
"But I am always gentle with you, dearest,"
"That's not true, she replied, "the last time you woke me up TWICE!"
_______________
It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin.
I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it.
I was turning it on.
It became firm in my hands, and the end was wet.
Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.
Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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