[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Wed





Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Yesterday I included a joke in the clean chips regarding Canadian
Tech Support and a misunderstanding over Control A and Control
Eh. David Tanner sent the following

Hello Buff A. Lo, (Is that Vietnamese or Cambodian, eh?)
I enjoy your ezine daily and often pass on parts to friends,
acquaintances (don't have any enemies to email)

Re: the Canadian Chips in current issue:
Somewhere back in time, the school bought a video camera and the
principal thought it would be great to have teachers video tape a
lesson for purposes of getting a sample to critique for self
evaluation.
"Fine with me", I thought (having no faults that I could imagine).
Until this time many people thought Canehjuns used the "eh" word
frequently, but I didn't really believe that and I knew I didn't
subscribe to the practice!
Well I taped a lesson from the back of the classroom... you guessed
it, eh? Twenty minutes of masterful work.
I took it to a secure location to view it (the staff room).
As well as the "ums", "uhs" and pregnant pauses, there were plenty
of "ehs" sprinkled throughout my presentation.
I couldn't believe that Sony could do this to me, with a Betamax, no
less, eh?

That sure taught me a lesson in grammar as well as humility.
The class and I set up a system to "Ban the Eh-word" and didn't it
work? Eh?

Sincere thanks and keep up the good work,
David E. Tanner, M.Ed.
Dream Time Car Service

I live in a border town with a 100,000 Canadians 5 minutes away. I
have always heard that Canadians say eh, are very polite, and don't
know how to drive. Although I know a few Canadians that fit into
each of those groups, I also know a lot of Americans that fit into
those groups too. In fact I never heard a Canadian say eh till I
started talking to truck drivers on the CB. I guess the best way to
decide up here is to see if he has Ontario License Plates but
with the number of people with dual citizenship even that isn't
always accurate.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Steroid Chips
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The varsity girls track team coach just couldn't seem to win a meet.
Six losses in a row.
He decided it would be best if he put his girls on anabolic
steroids.
Soon his girls were
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year.
They won State and
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sprinter struck a
conversation with the coach.

Sally: "Coach I have a problem!"

Coach: "What's that Sally?"

Sally: I'm developing thick hair on my body!"

Coach: What part of your body?"

Sally: My chest coach."

Coach:"How far does the hair go down Sally?"

Sally: "Well coach, it goes clear down to my balls, which is another
thing I wanted
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Got Lots Of Pussy
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Schlongs
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Bug Chips
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Tony had come over from Italy a short time ago and his English was
not
very good.

His wife had a bad case of crabs in her pubic hair, so Tony went to
the
drug store and asked the clerk, "My wife, she has'a bugs in the
bush".

The clerk though that Tony's wife had insects in her garden and gave
Tony a bottle of insecticide and told him to use one tablespoon per
gallon and spray the bushes and that would get rid of the bugs.

Tony took the insecticide home and thought the infestation in her
pubic
hair was so bad, he would spray it on straight out of the bottle.

Several weeks later Tony was in the drug store and the clerk ask
him,
"How are the bugs in the bush doing?"

Tony said, "The bugs, they are gone, my wife's bush is all gone,
too. By
the way did you hear about my neighbor Joe?". "He had a beautiful
mustache and it all fell out and do you know Joe up and died last
week.
My wife she is very sad about Joe dying."

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Rabbit Chips
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stumbles
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this?

Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off
running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again
says,
"Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health.

Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel
so
good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then
tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... "Lion
my
friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with
us
through the sunny forest, you'll feel so good!

The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to
beat the shit out of the little rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and
ask,
"Lion, why did you do this? ... He was merely trying to help you."

The lion answers, "The little fucker! I always end up running around
the
forest like a fucking idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"

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Bus Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day a little boy gets on a bus and sits
behind the bus driver. He starts saying things like:
'If my mom was a hen and my dad was a rooster,
I would be a little rooster'.

The bus driver said "shut up"!

Still the boy went on, 'if my mom was a female
elephant and my dad was a male elephant,
I would be a little male elephant'.

The bus driver said "shut up"!

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dog and my dad was a male dog, I would be a
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Position Chips
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New Sexual Positions

The IRS position, where you just bend over and
take it up the ass with no lube.

The Humidor (requires a cigar and an intern).

The Monday Night Football (actually just doggie
style done facing the TV with the game on with
her in the football jersey of your favorite team).

The Kentucky Derby (AKA Woman astride) be
forewarned if you decide to use the western
variant of this (The Rodeo) her spurs WILL
wreak havoc on the bed linens!

Oral Submarine. The guy must Dive...Dive ...
Dive.

The Bugs Bunny: It's when the guy is on top
with the women's legs pinned behind her head.

The British telecom position: you get SCREWED
by them and they never call you back.

The Grenade Position...I'll lay down and you blow
the hell out of me.

The Enron Position...no matter what, you're getting
it up the ass.

Totally Screwed - the position you in when your spouse
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you can't get out of...

The ever-famous "No, you gotta get your leg up
higher...no, not like that, like this...NO it's got to
be HIGHER than that. No, like this...oh, yeah that'd
work...if you were the one with the vagina...NO, would
you listen to me? HIGHER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND
THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY
MOUTH? You know what? Never mind...I don't even
wanna do it anymore. No, I won't give you head. No,
we can't try again...Yeah, that's right. I am gonna use
my vibrator... Well, I wouldn't have to if you could get
your leg up! GAWD!"

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two fellows were sitting in a bar and the one was complaining about
his
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seriously
considering just moving out and ending the relationship."

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annoying. But having a girl who's interested in her career is
hardly a
reason to break up."

"It is if your girlfriend's a hooker." the first man maintained.

Mary: Did you know that Linda has become a vegetarian?
Jill: Really? Wow!
Mary: Yep, and she's become a lesbian, as well. I guess she
doesn't want "meat" of any kind!

An inexperienced young Polish man, prior to his wedding, asked his
father what he should do to his wife on their wedding night. "Well,"
said the Polish father, not knowing really how to say it delicately,
"you take the thing you used to play with more than anything else
when
you were a teenager and put it where your wife wee- wees."

"Really, dad?" the young Polack said.
"Believe me, son," his father responded, "you'll love it."

So on his wedding night, the young man took his baseball and threw
it in
the toilet.

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I love my car
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I feel good
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If I was a terrorist
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Ford Police Chase
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Man Cheats DEA
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Missile
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bulb Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*How many Christians does it take to change a light
bulb?

Charismatic : Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine
to
pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians : None - Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None - Candles only.

Baptists : At least 15 - One to change the light
bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and
decide
who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3 - One to call the electrician, one
to
mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better
the
old one was.

Mormons : 5 - One man to change the bulb, and four
wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians : We choose not to make a statement
either in
favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However,
if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs
work for you, you are invited to write a poem or
compose
a modern dance about your light bulb for the next
Sunday
service, in which we will explore a number of light
bulb
traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent,
3-way,
long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid
paths to luminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined -Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can
be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a
bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service
and a
covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6 - One woman to replace the bulb while
five
men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans : None -Lutherans don't believe in
change.

Amish : What's a light bulb? **

Dave

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Talkin Dirty
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Golf
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Filling A Hole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32816.htm

for those drinking...
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father image
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bad parenting
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a girl from Decatur
Who got laid by a big alligator.
Now, nobody knew,
The result of that screw,
Because after he laid her, he ate her.
- - - - - - - - - -

A spinster named Lydia Lester,
Claimed strange men had never addressed her,
She said this with pride,
And yet deep down inside,
Her immunity must have depressed her.
- - - - - - - - - -

The fact of the matter is: Jack
Had long wanted Jill on her back;
So he told her some tale,
About filling a pail...
And then bungled his plan of attack.

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man in a Minnesota supermarket tries to buy half a head of
lettuce.
The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole
heads of lettuce.

The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll
ask
his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to
his
manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he
finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right
behind
him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the
ot her half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later
the
manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got
yourself
out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their
feet
here. Where are you from, son?

" Canada , sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada ?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up
there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada ."

"No shit?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for

Rob

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a small town in Texas, the local madam operated a telephone
service. The police finally arrested her and seized her big black
book
in which her talent was listed. Each officer on the force was
assigned
a group of the names in it and told to check them out. After a week,

the Chief called a meeting to get their reports. When it became the

turn of Constable Ralph to tell what he had found, he said, "I'm
sorry, Chief, but I think I should disqualify myself. One of the
ladies on whom I called is an eighty-four-year-old woman. She is so

charming that I have to tell you that I have fallen in love with
her."
"Holy Ewings!" exclaimed the Chief. "I'm sure surprised at you,
Ralph.
You've been a policeman almost all your life -- and here you are,
falling for the oldest trick in the book!"

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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