[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
 
 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

 
 
 
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to
do and always a clever thing to say.
- Will Durant
 
 
 
 
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I suppose I should make dire excuses for not doing
an issue yesterday. Like, maybe the house got blown
away in a hurricane, or something silly like that.
But the truth is, I don't have any. I have been reading
a book that I just couldn't seem to put down. Its called
The Quincunx, by Charles Pallister. Its sortof a
Victorian style novel of intrigue and all kinds of twists
and turns. Kindof tough to follow in places, but once you
get into it its one of those non stop things.
Excellent read.

Have you seen the latest and greatest from Billy Mays?
(As seen on TV) Its the "Tool Band-It" I'm usually
a little skeptical about such things, so I had to try
one. After all, it has a money back guarantee
I discovered that Now a job for 2 can be done by 1!
Billy Mays uses Tool Band-It" to keep all his tools and parts within reach!
And when I personally used it, I had to ask what I
did without it. Every handyman needs one!
The best thing too, as a postman fan, when you order
you will get a FREE Bonus Head Lamp!
Tool Band-It uses powerful Neo Magnetic Technology:
Safe & Secure
Light Weight & Flexible
One Size Fits All
Order Now!
Recommended by Martin aka the postman!
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Just in case, did you check and make sure your computer
is protected against the Cornflicker virus? I normally
do not inject virus scares and such into the page. But
this supposedly is a particularly devastating virus and
you should take precautions and make sure your computer
is safe. Since its due to be released today, April 1st
a lot of folks are treating it as a April fools joke
and not taking it seriously. For more information about it
go to:
http://www.geeknewscentral.com/archives/008725.html

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
____________
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Two old women were sitting on the park bench talking, when one asked
the other, "How's your husband holding up in bed these days?"
The second old lady replied, "He makes me feel like an exercise bike."
"How's that?"
"He climbs on and starts pumping away but we never get anywhere!"
___________
 
After I recovered from surgery, my family suggested that I write Thank
You notes to everyone who sent gifts and cards.
I agreed that it was a nice idea, and I asked my daughter to buy several
books of 'Love' stamps at the post office.
Upon returning, my daughter said, "I asked for books of 'Love' stamps,
but the clerk got very fresh with me!"
"What did he say?" asked the mother.
"He told me they were out of books of 'Love' stamps," she explained,
"But that he would be glad to give me Love in the sheets!"
_______________
 
Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting
together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery
preacher.
When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these
two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN,
BROTHER!"When the preacher condemned the sin of lust,
they yelled again, "PREACH IT, REVEREND!"
And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they
jumped to their feet and screamed, "RIGHT ON, BROTHER!
TELL IT LIKE IT IS... AMEN!"
But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the
two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said,
"He's quit preaching and now he's meddlin'."
________________
 
Ask the doctor
 
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
 
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.
 
What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn.
And what are these?
vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system.
Need grain?
Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
 
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all.
 
Wine is made from fruit.
Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the
fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.
Beer is also made out of grain...
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
 
 
 
Bottoms up!
 
Arrested for Speeding
http://tinyurl.com/cz8rch
 
 
Stunt Bike Draw 2
http://tinyurl.com/cmhsov
_______________
 
PAPA Thorn
 
 
 
 
 
 
SYDESJOKES LIST
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
 



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