THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"Let us so live that when we come to die
even the undertaker will be sorry."
~ Mark Twain
__________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The other day I heard a lot of noise emanating
from son's room. The war department and 28 year
old son were having another one of 'those moments'.
A little while later, son comes down stairs.
He just got paid, so I knew he had enuff ciggys
and Mt dew to drink. strange...
"where you goin, nick?"
"Mom threw out all my underwear, I gotta go
buy some cuz I got no more left."
Uh oh, she's on the war path again. However,
Dad is smarter than son so Dad went out the next
day and bought a large bottle of bleach. Usually
if she starts a tantrum on the kids, she ends up
finishing with "dad". So, I soaked them babies
up real good, got rid of them silly skid marks and
all, you know? (where else on this earth can you
go to read about skid marks in the morning, aside
from THE POSTMAN'S CORNER, eh?) Yeah. Anyways,
I'm kind of old fashioned, still wear the whity
tighties. But that is probably TMI for most of you folks.
So, after an all day soak, I was just getting
them out of the dryer when she came home from work.
Musta been a rough one because sure enough, that is
when she started in on me. In my mock self defense,
I said..."What are you talking about?"
"What's wrong with them?"
"There's no skidmarks on MY underpants."
She went to my underwear drawer and pulls out a pair and
she is shocked. She pulls out another pair, and after
checking several, she went away, muttering and scratching
her head. Its been a pretty quiet evening tonight.
After a little nap, did I mention she cooked me a steak? :)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
final words
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p021.html
favorite vegetable
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p022.html
sink my teeth in
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p023.html
phone call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p024.html
ok children
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p025.html
crappy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p026.html
confession
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p027.html
chilli
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p028.html
not today
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p029.html
on the couch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p030.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
baseball
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1189.html
tantrum
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1190.html
tornado
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1191.html
Barack Obama
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1192.html
playing darts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1193.html
Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced
a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly
when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the
hospital for observation. By the time a pair of
husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had
managed to complain about everything: the temperature,
the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress,
especially, the mattress.Suddenly, Grandma spotted a
small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord.
"What's that?" she demanded.
"If you need anything in the middle of the night,
Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press that
button.""What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.
"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse
on duty," the intern replied."A light in the hall?"
responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around
here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall,
she can get up and switch it on herself."
_______________
My grocery cart's wheel was making a horrible scraping
sound as I rolled it through the supermarket.
When I finished my shopping, I saw a cartless woman
and offered it up, explaining, "It makes an awful noise,
but it works."
"That's okay," she said, taking it. "I have a husband at
home just like that."
____________
*A hillbilly is looking around a big hardware store
when he sees a display of chain saws with a sign
guaranteeing that this model of chain saw can cut
twenty cords of firewood in a day. He motions
to a salesman.*
'Can I help you, sir?'*
This here chainsaw, kin it rully cut twenny cords o'wood in a day?'*
'Yes, sir, that's the guarantee. Twenty cords of wood or you get your money back.'*
'Yer joshin' me. Twenny cords o'farrwood? Ah don't blieve it!'*
'No, sir, it's true! Guaranteed.'*
Wull, Ah'll trah one but ah still don't blieve it!'*
He buys the saw. He returns not the next day but
the day after that. He seeks out the same salesman
and confronts him with the slightly-used saw.*
You lahr!' he says, 'You lah laka dawg! You sayed
this here chainsawr'd cut twenny cords o'wood in a day! I got
up yestiddy at the crack o'dawn 'n'I cut 'n' cut 'n' cut all
day! I didn't stop till it wuz dork! 'N'I couldn't cut moren'
six cords o'farrwood t'save mah lahf! Now whattya say about that?'
The salesman looked perplexed. 'Gee,' he said, 'maybe you got a bad one.
Let's try it.' He takes the saw, pumps the primer a few times,
and pulls the cord to start it up.
The hillbilly's eyes get wide with surprise.
Good grief,'What's that racket?'
________________
BUFFALO BILL
The Dildo Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6247.htm
The Elk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6248.htm
Three Condoms Please
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6251.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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