THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Goodness is the only investment
that never fails.
~Henry David Thoreau
_____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
We are approaching the end. Yep, in fact,
yesterday morning, I woke up early yesterday morning and it was
only 57 degrees! The end of the so called
"dog days of summer." is near. How bout you? mom,
you getting around to all those back to school
sales? College students, you getting ready
to head back? Husbands, you only got a couple
weekends left to finish those projects around the
house. Or are you planning a last hurrah with
the boat this weekend? Turk the dog, aka Carlos
the rat and myself have special plans for today.
We will be heading down to the park at the
river to feed/chase the ducks. I have a nice bag of
bread crumbs in order to improve their lives,
and Turk the rat will have every intention of chasing
these huge beasts away to protect me from them
as he usually does. (Apparently, ducks and
geese represent some unknown threat to my safety,
and it is his responsibility to protect me from them,
by barking very loudly and annoyingly at them), And I
have a nice novel to occupy my time when that
gets boring. Hope you all enjoy your day!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
a dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q051.html
the olympics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q052.html
Monday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q053.html
business is lousy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q054.html
Dr. Horny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q055.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Video Johnny Cashless Sings, "Obama's Prison Blues"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1246.html
the next morning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1247.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
Poland
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd740.html
Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole
courtroom full of lawyers hostage?
They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met.
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on them ...
and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side then he lies on the other.
How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
_____________
Little Johnny watched his Daddy's' car pass by the
school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he
followed the car a and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane In a
passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting
that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home
and started to tell his mother. 'Mom, I was at the
playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods
with Aunt Jane. I went back to Look and he was giving
Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off
her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his Pants
off, then Aunt Jane ...At this point Mommy cut him
off and said, ' Johnny , this is such An interesting
story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime.
I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it Tonight.'
At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little
Johnny To tell his story. Johnny started his story,
'I was at the Playground and I saw my Daddy's car go
into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and
he was giving Aunt Jane a Big kiss, then he helped her
take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take
his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing
the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do
when Daddy was in the Army.' Mommy fainted!
Moral:
Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story
Before you interrupt!
___________
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really
cute, really hot girl in his office... but she was
dating someone else. One day eddie got so frustrated
that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you a $100
if you let me have sex with you...' The girl looked
at him, then said 'NO.' Eddie said 'I'll be real fast.
I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and
i'll finish by the time you've picked it up. ' She
thought for a moment and said that she would consult
with her boyfriend... so she called him and explained the situation.
Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, pick up the
money really fast. He won't even be able to get his
pants down. She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over
half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting
for his girlfriends call. Finally, after 45 minutes the
boyfriend calls and asks what happen...? still breathing
hard, she managed to reply, the bastard had all quarters!
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition
in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
BUFFALO BILL
Foul Ball
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjuk.htm
Fox Hat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/anmnh.htm
Fragrance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkio.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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