Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was watching the business news awhile back concerning the
proposed IPO for Zynga. For those that don't use Facebook
Zynga has many of the most popular game applications on
Facebook like Mafia Wars, Empires and Allies, Vampire Wars,
and Farmville. These addictive little games also generate a
large profit for the company through the sale of premium buildings,
costumes, and characters in each of the games. On potential sales
of 1 billion this year they are proposing an initial offering for a
billion
dollars worth of stock. If they can multiply their earnings 10 times
in just three years, I think the United States needs to get in the game
app business with a couple of games designed after Washington.
In my first proposed App, called Congress you as a businessman
will try to grow your business to the size of say General Electric. As
the CEO you will move your factories to third world countries, bribe
government officials in our and other governments, and if necessary
eradicate competition and enemies. On the bad side, you will have to
appear in numerous congressional hearings and could be brought
to trial on RICO statute violations at any moment at which time you
will be happy you bought that Supreme Court Justice in round 14.
The next game app I want to suggest is President and Interns and I
am sure you can figure out how that one will be played, starting out
with lawyer and secretaries and working your way up through senator
and interns and governor and interns.
Anyhow if Zynga can sell a sheep with racing stripes for 5 dollars,
think how much you could sell a Presidential Pardon for in the game
or maybe some of our top nuclear secrets to an unfriendly foreign
country. This game could sell trillions a year not just billions and a
stock
offering could put the social security program back on the right track.
Enjoy the chips and tell your congressman the United States needs it's
own game on Facebook... buffalo
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Drink Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The old smelly drunk ambled in to the bar and
asked for his usual pint of Guinness and after
the barkeep got it for the drunk, he thought,
"Lets have some fun."
He asked the drunk if he would like to taste the
new drink he was trying to perfect. Of course the
drunk was not one to refuse a free drink, and he
replied "Sure."
The bartender then proceeded to shake up a batch
and poured the drunk a glass. The drunk took a
swig and downed it, smacked his lips and said
"Thanks"
T barkeep said, "what did you think? Do you have a name for that
drink?"
The drunk replied "I drank it so fast cause I was
dry, could you give me another?"
The barkeep poured another and said to drink it
slow and then give it a name. The drunk took a
sip swirled it around and swallowed it, then
another, finally draining the glass, licked his
lips and replied "I think you ought to call it
"Love by the Sea"
The barkeep was amazed by the insight put forth
by the drunk so he asked him "Where did you come
up with such a thoughtful name?"
To which the drunk replied, "Cause it's fucking near water!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
thats some cough
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the captain
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a great suggestion
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe was hanging in a bar and his friends asked him if he had scored
lately. Joe told his friends man I picked up this chick the other
night and had the best sex ever, the only problem was she was a
total Butterface!
His friends asked him, "What the heck is a Butterface?"
Joe answered, "Everything about her was hot, BUT HER FACE
I pulled
into a town I couldn't believe still existed in the year
2000. A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually
said "General Store", and that was it. There was a little old man
sitting in front of the store in a rocking chair......
I said to him, "What do you folks do around here?"
He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' fuck."
I said, "What do you hunt?"
He said, "Somethin' to fuck."
A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were
faithful o him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then
later question each one on the other's behavior. When his wife
returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then
casually asked her about the specific behavior of the passenger he
knew to be his mistress. "She slept with nearly every man on the
ship," his wife reported.
The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to
ask her the same questions about his wife.
"She was a real lady," his mistress said.
"How so?" the encouraged man asked.
She came on board with her husband and never left his side."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meaning Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
Statement: "I need you."
True Meaning: "My hand is tired."
Statement: "I am different from all the other guys."
True Meaning: "I am not circumcised."
Statement: "I want a commitment."
True Meaning: "I'm sick of masturbation."
Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."
Statement: "It's just orange juice, try it."
True Meaning: "Three more shots, and she'll have her legs around my
head."
Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."
Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
Statement: "I miss you so much."
True Meaning: "I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to
look good."
Statement
: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
Statement: "How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?" True
Meaning: "Is my penis really that small?"
Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who the hell are you?"
Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."
Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."
Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."
Statement: "I'll give you a call."
True Meaning: "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than
see you again."
Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be frien
ds."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."
Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"
True
Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Duck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Louisiana State Police received reports of illegal cockfights
being held in the area around Crowley, and duly dispatched the
infamous detective Boudreaux to investigate.
He reported to his sergeant the next morning.
"Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin'" he began.
"Good work. Who are they?" the sergeant asked.
Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Aggies, de Cajuns, and de Mafia."
Puzzled, the sergeant asked, "How did you find that out in one
night?"
"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat cock fight.
I knowed the Aggies was involved when a duck was entered in the
fight."
The sergeant nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"
Boudreaux intoned knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved
when summbody bet on de duck."
"Ah," sighed the sergeant, "And how did you deduce the Mafia was
involved?"
"De duck won."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Muffin, I feel like making love tonight."
"Okay, I will let you, but be gentle this time."
"But I am always gentle with you, Dearest."
"That's not true. The last time, you woke me up twice!"
It was the last day of school at St. John the Baptist elementary
school. Sister Catherine was asking her 4th grade Catholic school
children what they want to be when they grow up. Steven raised his
hand. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" the Sister asked.
Steven replied, "I want to be a football player." "That's great,"
the Sister commended. Rick raised his hand. "What do you want to be,
Rick?" Rick replied, "I want to be an astronaut!" "Wonderful!" said
the Sister. Sheila raised her hand. "Yes, Sheila? What do you want
to be when you grow up?" Sheila replied, "I want to be a
prostitute!" "WHAT?" Sister Catherine gasped. She became flushed and
looked like she was going to pass out. "What did you say??" "I want
to be a prostitute!" Sheila repeated. "Oh, thank Heavens!" Sister
Catherine said, breathing a big sigh of relief. "I thought you said
you wanted to be a Protestant!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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John w/ The VW and the Mercedes
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Adam's Rib! Via George
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The Magical Wishing Well
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Unique Designer Shoes
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Truth In Advertising
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
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Top 10 World Air Forces
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That Look
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Ever See A Snake Yawn
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Faryl Smith Britain's Got Talent
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand..
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean..
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother...
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
blowing
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blowjob
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blow job beg
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blowjob dog
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blowjob means
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blue balls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfjskdfsl.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In her youth, exhibitionist Annie
Was frequently spanked by her nanny.
That is why, to this day,
Some psychiatrists say
She is fond of exposing her fanny.
__________________________________
There once was a pervert named Weiner
Who had a perverted demeanor
Forced from the Hill
For acting like Bill
Now Congress is one Weiner leaner
__________________________________
I once had a ladyfriend, Rose.
Double-jointed she was, I suppose.
And I watched, fascinated,
As Rose masturbated;
Herself with the tip of her nose.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A salesman went to the door of a young couple one day and rang the
doorbell. After 3 rings and no answer, he assumed no one was home and
decide to leave. He happened to pass by an open window and saw the
couple naked on the sofa. Being a pervert, he peered closer to get a
better look. He notice the woman was sitting with her legs wide open,
shaving her pubic area while staring at her husband. He, on the other
hand, was naked, stroking himself, shaking his head wildly back and
forth with his free hand splashing in the fish tank. The salesman was
embarrassed when a neighbor walked up and found him peeping. "These
people need help!" said the salesman. "No, they don't," replied the
neighbor. "They're deaf, and the wife is just telling her husband he
needs to cut the grass, but the husband is telling the wife 'fuck no!
I'm going fishing.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2086
Two Warriors Fighting the Same Battle
BJ is watching TV in Guthrie and Sandi is chewing on
a rawhide bone and laying on her doggie bed. The other
dogs are in Caldwell.
Suddenly, Sandi darts up and starts to run across the
floor, stumbles and falls, gets up, takes a step and falls
no crumbles to the floor. BJ is up in a flash by her side.
Sandi's right front leg is drawn up at a crazy angle. BJ
thinks the leg is broken, she starts to shake all over.
Oh a seizure, the first one since November, 2011.
BJ holds his baby in his arms until the seizure is over
and clearity is restored in Sandi's eyes. Sandi lays
in his arms for a while, exhausted and probably not
minding the comfort.
The two have a common tie, both are seizure prone.
Sandi has been there for BJ when he has had a seizure
and now BJ has been there in recent times for Sandi
when she had been taken ill with seizures. Two hearts,
one illness. That night, they seem to sleep a little extra
close to each other.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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