Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I called Bobbie tonight and she had just brought Kaluah home
from her vet appointment. They did the surgery a week ago
and today they x-rayed the leg to make sure that the plate and
screws they added were holding. They also removed the cone
from around her neck which has got to give her back some
self-respect. She is pretty much tethered to Bobbie because
she would try an escape if she had the chance and did manage
to slip her collar and get loose in the house last night along
with managing to get her leg into her cone one night. I want to
personally thank everyone in the herd that helped out.
From the archives.
I loved the time that I spent in the Navy doing supply work. I
continued doing it even when I was an E-6 and could have
easily picked someone else to do it. I like spending money,
especially other people's money and there was plenty to be
spent. Every three months you were given a fresh operating
budget that might be 100,000 dollars or maybe 2,000,000
depending on where you were. Out to see you had less and
during repair periods they gave you enormous amounts of
money. Major items came out of funds that were managed
by the type commanders, so if you needed a new 100,000
dollar pump or turbine, you didn't pay for it. My money was
spent on the stuff that keeps the Navy running, rags, tools,
cleaning supplies, and steel toed shoes. When I got tired of
spending money at serv-mart which is like a combination of
Sears and Office-Max I broke out my Defense Property Disposal
catalogs and took a look at what I could get for cost of shipping.
It was just after Vietnam and there was buildings full of material
that had been ordered for the troops over there that was now
surplus. People wanted the right angle flashlights that they used
on the flight deck, I got 600 of them and 5,000 D-cells to go
along with them.
I had some other great deals in my forays into surplus. I got two
pallets of white paint that completely painted out our machinery
room for nothing but they wouldn't let me pick up the 1965
Ford ambulance for a shop vehicle. The biggest deal was a 1000
8 oz ball peen hammers that were stored in Korea. When they
said they had a 1000 I expected to get a handful which we used
mainly for making gaskets. You laid a piece of gasket paper over
a flange or a part and gently tapped around the bolt holes and
edges with the hammer. It was much faster and more precise
than trying to draw a template and cutting the paper with a
pair of scissors, a tool that you normally did not have in your tool
box. These were great hammers with fiberglass handles and rubber
grips. After I passed out enough for every person in engineering to
have one, I still had cases left to trade with other departments.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A few newsletters you may enjoy
Shirley's RessyPees
Be sure to try out Miz Shirley's
"RESSYPEES"
She is a powerful good cook
and shes sharin notes...
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Get laughs and loads of diversified posts,
Something for everyone's interest.
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Short Chips
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Having flashed his light into the back of a parked Mini-Van behind a
local burger joint, the Policeman gasped, "Are you two actually
having sex in the parking lot ?"
"Why no officer." drawled the sweet young thang.
"This here fellow is just helping me practice in case I meet a
strong handsome Policeman I could really go for."
Jill: I just found out why cunnilingus is called eating while
fellatio is a blow job.
Nadine: Why is that Jill?
Jill: The terms were invented by a woman to make the one sound
enjoyable and the other like work.
Scientists say Viagra may be able to help reverse the growth of
enlarged hearts. How does it know what to make bigger and what to
make smaller? - Jim Barach Little Johnny ran out to a field his Pa
was plowing to report, "there's a strange man at the house. I dunno
what he wants." "Son,"
the father told him, "if it's the landlord, he wants his rent. If
it's the banker, he's come to foreclose the mortgage. And if it's a
traveling salesman, you run home fast as your legs will carry you
and sit in your maw's lap til I get there!"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
don't understand
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burned the roast
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good neews
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Diplomatic Chips
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The old professor got a job on the railways as a steward one summer,
and the first day he accompanied another steward to learn the ropes.
"It's very simple," said his tutor, "just use diplomacy."
"What's diplomacy?" asked the old professor, as that was something
he'd never needed while teaching.
"Watch me, I'll show you," said the steward-in-charge.
Off they went down the train corridor, rattling compartment doors,
opening them with special keys and offering tea or coffee. When the
tutor steward flung open one door, he was confronted with a
buck-naked woman. Without batting an eyelid he asked, "Tea or
coffee, sir?"
The surprised woman took the cup of tea and he shut the door.
"Wow, did you see that cutie?" said the old professor excitedly.
"She had no clothes on! But hey, why did you call her 'sir'?"
"That's diplomacy! I did not want to embarrass her," said his
tutor.
The old professor was most impressed with his teacher. The next
day, on his own now, he flung open a door to a compartment and found
a couple making love on the bed.
"Tea or coffee, sir?"
"Tea," the man replied.
"And for your brother?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny got the crabs from a girlfriend and wanted to know how
to get rid of them. There are three options.
1. Hold a mirror opposite of your genitals and the crabs will think
that there is another crotch to jump off onto.
2. Shave off half of your pubic hair, set the other half on fire
and stab the crabs with an ice pick when they run out of the first
half.
3. Go to a movie; buy a box of popcorn, a coke, and a pack of milk
duds.
When the movie is really getting to a point of real excitement be
sure to drop some of the popcorn into your lap so the crabs can eat
some of the popcorn. The salt in the popcorn will make the crabs
really thirsty, and they will go to the lobby to get some water.
While they are gone, you get up and move to another seat.
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Bus Chips
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A woman gets on a city bus. She looks at the driver and holds up
one hand; the driver holds up two hands.
Next, the woman points up; the driver points down. Then, the woman
grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.
Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.
A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were
all about.
The driver explained, 'The woman is a deaf-mute. She asked me if a
bus ride is five cents, and I told her it was ten cents. Next, she
asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was going
downtown.
Then, she asked if the bus was going past the dairy, and I told her
it was going past the ballpark...' The passenger interjected, 'Okay,
but why did she grab her butt as she left the bus?' The driver
continued, 'She replied, 'Oh shit, I'm on the wrong bus!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sis Chips
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Joan had invited her younger sister, Nancy, to leave her country
home and come to the city for a weekend visit
with her and her husband, John. And to see how the urban half lived.
She also arranged for a friend of hers named Bill to take Nancy out
for a night on the town.
After a pleasant dinner and a show, Bill and Nancy went to Bill's
apartment for a nightcap.
They talked and listened to soft music for a pleasant interlude;
then Bill suggested they retire to the bedroom for some love making.
"Oh, no," Nancy protested. "I don't think my sister would like it."
"Nonsense," said Bill, as he gently took her arm. "She loves it."
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Collection of Videos
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/J_S.html
Just Thinking
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thinking.html
Hand Painting Art 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hpaint2.html
Grandmother's Love
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/agrandmotherslove.htm
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Surfin Surfari
Coffee Review Via dianne
http://www.coffeereview.com/
ripped : the rest of the story
http://goo.gl/5cTy6
Smirting
http://goo.gl/Xq6PY
Michael Combs sings Drinking From My Saucer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcmSbYiML2M
Visas
http://travel.state.gov/visa/
Flash Mob! (Cape Cod)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5lbNXNn3CI&sns=em
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
How do they do that with HTML?
http://www.tashian.com/htmlguide/index.html
5 Basic Rules of Web Design
http://www.grantasticdesigns.com/5rules.html
GScripts.net
http://gscripts.net/
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Animal World
Amazing Horse Trainer
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Koalas In A Heatwave
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Movie Links
Eric O Shea
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfdr.htm
Escuta Essa
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Examendeprostata
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajhhgjh.htm
Fairy Tale Ending
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajuhu.htm
Farting In a Womens Toilet
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Fastest Gun Ever
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Fed Ex
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Fests
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FFs
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Hot Dog Chase
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gklok.htm
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Coyote Chips
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California vs Arizona
California: The Governor of California is jogging with his dog
along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor
and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene but reflects upon the
movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is
only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and
bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for
relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and
bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting
checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite
wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish &
Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of
dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to
better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease
throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the
attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and
train a new security agent with additional special training
re: the nature of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against
the State.
Arizona: The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a
nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol
and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP
hollow point cartridge.
2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that's why California is broke.
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Automatic Pilot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhgdw.htm
Waste Of Money
http://www.buffaloschips.com/i72y3.htm
Beer Babe
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jukyg78.htm
Abuse the force
http://www.buffaloschips.com/i7yglij.htm
Accident
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uyg78.htm
Ace
http://www.buffaloschips.com/iyhug78.htm
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a whore named Nellie,
who's clients complained she was smelly.
She was given some soap,
the kind dangling on rope,
but never made it past her belly.
Nellie's next was a tender young buck,
come to call for his very first fuck.
He went down for a nibble,
alas, there was dribble.
She was already full of cum, darn his luck!
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Parting Chips
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Young Bubba was courting Ellie Mae, who lived on an adjoining farm
out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on
Bubba's porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Bubba spied
his prize bull "servicing" one of his cows.
He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured
the omens were right for him to some pressure on Ellie Mae.
He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Ellie Mae, I'd sure
like to be doing what that bull is doing."
"Well then, why don't you? "Ellie Mae whispered back. "It is YOUR
cow, after all."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2084
Miss Katherine Protesteth Too Much
Dad arrives in Caldwell to find....
Katie: Father enough is enough! (as she
taps her front feet)
BJ: What is this discourse about?
Katie: It has been three weeks and I have not
yet returned to my domicile in Oklahoma.
BJ: Ahem, Well err I ...
Katie: I therefore must insist that you either
take me back with you this Sunday or you will
hear from my attorneys.
BJ: Well I ah, err, I ah...
Katie: This can all go away if you just listen to
reason father.
BJ: I err ah am.
Katie: Very well. I have my bags packed. I am
glad we had this discussion father.
BJ: Err I well ah.
The herd
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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