Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The Tigers for a change are playing some great baseball in
the second half of the season and have a 5 game lead in the
American League Central. Last nights game against Tampa Bay
was delayed about twenty minutes because of lighting problems
which can be a problem in a domed stadium. It also brought
back memories of my days working in Maintenance at the University
of San Diego. We were on a rotating on call schedule during which
we had to carry a beeper and if there was a problem,no matter
what trade was responsible for the repair, we were required
to go check out the problem and if we couldn't handle it call the
appropriate person to handle it.
The University had decent sports teams for its size which it
accomplished by hiring great coaches and recruiting the best
players they could attract. They put together a basketball team
that in 11986 or 1987 won their division and was headed for
the Final Four at UNLV. With their success came a nationally
televised game which happened to be during a time that I was
on call. Our electricians had spent the day making sure everything
was ready to go and I was surprised when my beeper went off.
I called security and found out they had stopped the game
because a breaker had tripped shutting off the power to part
of the lights on the court in the middle of the game. It took me
on the average about 7 minutes to drive the 5 miles to the
campus but I made it there in under five that night. Now contrary
to what the manufacturers say, a breaker, especially multi pole ones,
doesn't always move when it pops and the huge panel had
never been labeled as to which breaker fed which bank of HID
lights and when you turn them off it takes 15 minutes or so for
them to get back to full brilliance. I wiggled each breaker without `
luck and finally had to resort to flipping breakers which of course
left players, camera crews, and students and guests sitting in the
dark until I found the right one and then after 15 minutes the
court was fully lighted and they resumed play.
A few years later when I became maintenance supervisor at the flywheel
factory, I not only made sure the breakers were labeled but also
put up a big diagram next to the panels of the lighting for the factory
and which breakers fed each light so the foramen could reset them
without calling me in in the middle of the night. They had been labeled
when the plant was built but lights over bowl making machine meant
nothing in the 1990's when the metal forming machine that had made
differential covers for Dana axles was sitting in Australia
buffalo says We are experiencing some slow loading of movies
and toons on our site but as of 2000 it seems to have fixed itself
so it must have been a server problem.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
Some Newsletter You May Enjoy
Jeannettes Adult Playground
Hi come and have some fun with us!!
We share hunks, babes. adult cartoons.
Also have question of the day.
You must share in the group as you are the life line of the group.
See ya in the playground!!
Please read before you join the group.
We are a adult group that likes to have fun.
Yes we even talk in the group.
Please no lurking in the group.
We will share adult cartoons jokes tags hunks and babes.
Please come and Join!!
Group email Click link to join:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Jeannettes_Adult_Playground/join
And
Friends Luvin' Each Other
We are a group of online friends who have come together to enjoy each
other's company. We offer nonjudgmental support, help and advice where
we can share laughter and tears, appreciate each other for who we are
and just take pleasure in our time together. We post freebies, poetry
stories, jokes, graphics and whatever else strikes our fancies and we
have some pretty interesting conversations too.
We come from all walks of life and several generations!
Please join us and let's be friends!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Friendsluvineachother/
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THE REAL PROBLEM WITH OUR GOVERNMENTAL SYSTEM - - - -
The folks who are getting free shit,
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And,
The folks who are paying for the free shit,
Want the free shit to stop.
And the folks who are getting the free shit,
Want even MORE free shit on top of the free shit they're already
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Now..... The people who are forcing the people who PAY for the free
shit,
Have told the people who are RECEIVING the free shit,
That the people who are PAYING for the free shit,
Are being mean, prejudiced, and racist.
So .... the people who are GETTING the free shit,
Have been convinced they need to HATE the people who are PAYING for the
free shit by the people who are forcing the people who are PAYING for
the free
shit and GIVING them the free shit in the first place.
And - - - - - that's the straight shit!
Allen
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sanity seems to be often on back-order. Sarcasm and Anger however are in
unlimited supply.
~~~~~~~~~
Sheri and Rose were were talking about the new hottie in the
neighborhood
that looked like a Chippendale model.
"But he acts so stupid." said Sheri. "I think he must have all his
brains between his legs."
"Yeah", sighed Rose, "but wouldn't you just love to blow his mind?"
~~~~~~~~~~
A wife hands her husband a laced silk handkerchief and asks him:
"Doesn't this belong to your secretary?"
"Where did you find that?", he stutters.
"I didn't", she answers. "The mail man found it on your night-stand" .
~~~~~~~~~
Having had one drink too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display a
nasty side. An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to
her,
"Hey! How about it babe? You and me?"
As she got up to move, he said very loudly, "Honey, you sure look like
you
could use the money, but I don't have two dollars."
She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I
charge by the inch?"
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Short Chips
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A fellow walked into a bar and ordered a triple shot of scotch straight.
The bartender asked, "Is something bothering you?" "Well, I got home
early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend on the
bed going at it doggy fashion. He was really burying his big cock in my
wife! I never realized that his cock was that big and he could pound a
pussy so hard." "Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house." So
the bartender gives him another triple scotch and again he gulps it
down. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?" "I
told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!" "Good for you! You said
the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?" "Well, I
walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Bad Dog!"
The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the
work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a
check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the
missus out to dinner and a movie, maybe you will get lucky tonight."
Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the
man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget
something?"
"Nope," replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to
dinner and a movie and fuck her afterwards, like you asked."
===
After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing
my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and,
as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this
was no accident, so I prayed ... "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me
to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me
directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, ... on the eighth
time around the block, there it was! God is so good to me!'
===
A woman was called in front of a Texas grand jury for manslaughter after
she shot a mugger 6 times in the back as he was running away with her
purse.
He grabbed the purse and ran, she had her hand on the gun in it, and was
left with the revolver in her hand.
When asked by the grand jury why she shot the man 6 times in the back as
he was running away, she replied under oath:
"Because when I pulled the trigger the 7th time it only went click."
A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were
beautiful blondes, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show,
one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best
of her performance.
The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?"
She responded, "The first man was Peter, my high school teacher,
but he only paid me twenty dollars!"
Tom
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Note Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning:
My Dear Honey,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being
54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I
value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I
hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be
spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort
Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset, I shall be home before midnight. When the
man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the
dining room table:
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being
54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you
that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at
our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read
this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my
students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young,
virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful
businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will
understand that we are in the same situation, although with one
small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Date Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jewish Mother: "Hello?"
Daughter: "Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?"
Jewish Mother: "You're going out?"
Daughter: "Yes."
Jewish Mother: "With whom?"
Daughter: "With a friend."
Jewish Mother: "I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a
good
man."
Daughter: "I didn't leave him. He left me!"
Jewish Mother: "You let him leave you, and now you go out with
anybodies and
nobodies."
Daughter: "I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?"
Jewish Mother: "I never left you to go out with anybody except your
father."
Daughter: "There are lots of things that you did and I don't."
Jewish Mother: "What are you hinting at?"
Daughter: "Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over
tonight."
Jewish Mother: "You're going to stay the night with him? What will
your
husband say if he finds out?"
Daughter: "My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered.From
the day he
left me, he probably never slept alone!"
Jewish Mother: "So you're going to sleep over at this loser's
place?"
Daughter: "He's not a loser."
Jewish Mother: "A man who goes out with a divorced woman with
children is a
loser and a parasite."
Daughter: "I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or
not?"
Jewish Mother: "Poor children with such a mother."
Daughter: "Such a what?"
Jewish Mother: "With no stability. No wonder your husband left you."
Daughter: "ENOUGH!!!"
Jewish Mother "Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser
too!"
Daughter: "Now you're worried about the loser?"
Jewish Mother: "Ah, so you see, he IS a loser. I spotted him
immediately."
Daughter: "Goodbye, mother."
Jewish Mother: "Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them
over?"
Daughter: "I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!"
Jewish Mother: "If you never go out, how do you expect to meet
anyone?"
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Baxter Black So Lucky To Be An American
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Rose Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty,
but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 5-year-old
daughter
and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the
little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So
here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see
what I was holding. "What ya got, mister?" she asked. (Mom is
getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.)
I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly,
"Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?"
(Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to
sit
down.)
I said, "they're for my girlfriend".
She says again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a lot
of
them, too! Man, you really must have fucked up!"
Needless to say, nearly everyone on the train was in stitches,
except
Mom who was now trying to crawl between the seats!
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose prick was so long he could suck it,
One day, in a glass,
He saw the hole of his ass,
And then broke his neck trying to fuck it.
______________________________
A soi-disant Mynheer Professor
Met a beat-up old whore from Odessa.
She applied all her arts
To his genital parts,
But they only grew lesser and lesser.
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A chap they all call Aloysius,
Of his wife and a guy grew suspysius.
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He found them by the sink
But they were only doing the dysius.
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jenna, despite her good looks and charm, had still never
dated any boys at the age of 19. Today she was asking her
aunt Martha for advice with boys.
"Martha," she started, "I've just started French kissing
Tommy and I need to know where the spit should go. I don't want to
dribble on my boyfriend."
"Swallow." her aunt advised. "This will make you even more popular
later on."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2091
Bathing in the Cassady House
BJ is relaxing in his bath, bubbles of course,
the lights are dim, the water is hot. It very
relaxing, the music fits the mood...
BJ has his eyes closed when...
Sandi tiptoes in and starts to groom him
by licking his arms and his back.
Sandi: Missed a spot there dad. Got it for ya.
BJ: Can you wash my hair?
Sandi: Nope don't do hair.
BJ: Well gee thanks, but I need to finish my bath.
Sandi: Okay Dad.
The herd
I think Sandi believes I am her cub.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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