Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It looks like the Dog Days of Summer have ended and along with it
the largest construction project in town. They reconstructed a mile or
so
of the main drag, Ashmun Street that hadn't been done completely since
the sixties. A sign that one of the stimulus bills must have paid for it
is the
use of concrete like the original. It is a State Road also and I am sure
they would have done it with the cheaper asphalt if they had the choice
and were footing the bill. This will cut both time and distance from
shopping trips as the bigger stores are on the Southside of town but
the hilly terrain also adds blocks to detours due to dead end and one
way
streets in that area. It is picture perfect now though with all new
curbs and
gutters and fresh striping and lettering.
Even with the detours and frequent stop signs, it was easier going south
that way then trying to get to I-75 and go south. The overpass leading
to the
freeway entrances is going through extensive repairs for salt damage and
only one lane is open. They are using a light system instead of flagmen
and
even though it works well 5 or ten minute waits are common and since my
favorite gas station is on the other side it eats up that penny a gallon
really fast.
Eva got her last shot today and she is all set to go to school this fall
and a
half day break will be appreciated. It is impossible to shut her up and
it is
hard enough to compose my thoughts in silence let alone when she is
standing next to me. The computer and TV are good for her and she can
write her name and has a reading vocabulary of a couple hundred words
many of which she learned typing things she wanted to watch into a
search
engine so her vocabulary isn't See Dick Run. Instead her words are more
like Freddy, Jason, Chucky, Hellraiser, werewolves, and zombies. It was
funny the other day when I saw her type zombies into the search engine
and then she tried to figure why the singers were singing a song about
Time Of The Season, instead of being out looking for brains like good
zombies heh heh.
Enjoy the chips .... buffalo
*** PARTY TIME ***
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We also allow Pando. No Links are allowed, just everything
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So do you have what it takes to Party With Us?
We are closed on the weekends. You must be at least 18 yrs, old.
Click to join
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Shirley's RessyPees
Be sure to try out Miz Shirley's
"RESSYPEES"
She is a powerful good cook
and shes sharin notes...
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Fireworks & Pyro Projects eBook
Fireworks & Pyro Projects, is the largest and most exciting collection
of practical fireworks projects ever assembled in one book.
http://buffaloschips.com/pyro
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Porn Chips
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This guy goes to Amsterdam to videotape a presentation. While
staying in his hotel he finds an awesome porn channel on the TV,
but, alas, he has no VCR or way to record it.
With a flash of inspiration, he sets up his video camera, points it
at the TV, and tapes a few hours of hard core video.
On arriving home, he tells his best friend about the trip. The
conversation gets around to the porn tape and the man lends his
friend the tape.
A couple of days later, the friend returns the tape. "Did, ahh, did
you watch your tape?"
"No. I was watching the original. Wasn't any need to see the
tape."
"Well, uhh, before you lend it out again, maybe you should watch
it,"
the friend advises.
The guy did as he was advised. And never lent out the tape again.
You see, the fella had forgotten to take into account the
*reflective*
nature of a television screen . . .
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Grand Ma and Grand Pa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q018.html
staring
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q019.html
pick up your toys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q020.html
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Short Chips
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A guy rushes into the bar and tells the bartender, "The beers are on
me! My wife ran away with my best friend." The bartender smiles and
asks, "That's a shame, how come you aren't unhappy?" "Why should I
be unhappy?" replies the guy. "They saved me a fortune. Both of them
are pregnant!"
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the
department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office
sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have
no one broken down by age or sex. However, we do have a few
alcoholics."
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Car Accident Help Book
Proven techniques for those involved in car accidents to deal with
insurance company adjusters to get the most value for their damaged
vehicle, recover lost rental fees, how to mitigate damages, ect...
http://buffaloschips.com/accide
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Alabama Chips
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After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was
enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his
cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The vet told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could
fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly
alternative,"
said the vet, "is to go home,get a cherry bomb," (fireworks are
legal in Alabama) "light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can
up to your ear and count to ten."
The Alabamian said to the vet, "I may not be the smartest tool in
the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can
next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me, " said the vet.
So the man went home, lit the cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count.
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and
resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas,
Mississippi,Michigan, Ohio, and West Virginia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Novel Writing Made Easy System
Professional Author's Step-by-step System (2 approx. 200 pg. manuals, 2
workbooks, & 5 1/2 hours of audio included) For Planning and Writing A
Novel That Will Turn You Into a Published Novelist.
http://buffaloschips.com/novel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
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Did you hear about the Arab baker?
Every morning at 6:00 a.m. he'd bow to the yeast.
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
Eminem has controversially been given permission to tour Australia.
The tour goes ahead in spite of the incredibly obscene language,
total lack of respect towards women, irresponsible attitude to sex &
violence, and, of course, the dungarees. But despite all this,
Eminem said he'd make up his own mind about Australians.
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
Q: What's the best-selling brand of lipstick in
Greece?
A: Preparation H.
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
It was Sunday afternoon, and Pat and Mick were bored.
"Let's go to the pictures," said Mick, "we could see Moby Dick." "I
don't like them R-rated films," Pat replied. "Don't be so daft,"
said Mick. "It's about whales." "That's worse," said Pat. "I can't
stand them Welsh bastards!"
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Legal Forms & Contracts Personal & Business Legal forms, contracts and
agreements. Popular forms include Bill of Sale, Power of Attorney, Last
Will, Promissory Note, Prenuptial Agreement, Landlord and Tenant forms
and Guardianship forms.
http://buffaloschips.com/legal
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Flying Chips
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The following are actual exchanges between airline pilots and
control towers from around the world: While taxiing at London
Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale
made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 767. An irate
female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew,
screaming:"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to
turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop
right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference
between Cs and Ds, but get it right!" Continuing her tirade to the
embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God, you've
screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You
stay right there and don't move till I tell you to!
You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour
and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and
how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" "Yes ma'am," the
humbled crew responded. Naturally the ground control frequency went
terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody
wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state.
Tension in every cockpit at LAW was running high. Then an unknown
pilot broke the silence and asked: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
A DC-10 had an exceedingly long rollout after landing with his
approach speed a little high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy,
turn right at the end of the runway, if able. If not able, take the
Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and
return to the airport."
Unknown aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!" Air Traffic Control: "Last
aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown
aircraft:
"I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the
way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far
end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?" Continental 635:
"Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied
Eastern and have already notified our caterers...."
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a
short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate
parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from
them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened
to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a
British Airways 747, call sign "Speedbird 206": Speedbird 206:
"Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Ground:
"Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled
onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do
you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location
now." Ground (with arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you
not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944 but it was dark and I
didn't stop."
O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a
Fokker, One o'clock, three miles, eastbound." United 239: "Approach,
I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in
sight."
A PanAm 727 flight engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich
Overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our
start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer
you must speak English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German,
flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the
bloody war!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Used Rv Buyers Guide.
Secret Methods And Inspection Hints Used By Professional RV Appraisers.
http://buffaloschips.com/rv
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Melva/God's Gifts
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/C/Gi.html
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Though Eyes Of Love
http://anhourwithyou.com/h/Through_Eyes_Of_Love.html
Stepdad
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/StepDad.htm
For The Joy That Was Set Before Him
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/joy.html
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Surfin Surfari
Winnie the Pooh & Friends Via Dianne
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Quick and Easy Summer Crafts
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Tech Horror Stories
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Akiane Child Prodigy
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Background Basics
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Personal photo maker presentation
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Simply Sally
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
http://www.animal-eye-specialists.com/
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Car Accident Help Book
Proven techniques for those involved in car accidents to deal with
insurance company adjusters to get the most value for their damaged
vehicle, recover lost rental fees, how to mitigate damages, ect...
http://buffaloschips.com/accide
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Movie Links
Kangaroo
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90208.htm
Pancakes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90209.htm
Paris speaks out
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90210.htm
Peeping Tom
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90401.htm
Peyton
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90402.htm
Parking 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asddsas.htm
Parking3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdfgds.htm
Peeling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfasd.htm
Pigeon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qwda.htm
Ping Pong
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jlkfd.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A three year study was just completed on
how different nationalities treat their computer equipment. The
study found the following:
- The Japanese are most likely to clean their keyboards after every
use.
- The Americans are most likely to spill food on their keyboards.
- The Ukranians use their keyboards for spare parts for their TV's.
- The Germans are most likely to pound on their keyboards.
- The French are most likely to give their keyboards to the Germans
without a struggle.
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
Three Irishmen, drunk as can be, come staggering down the street
singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs. They stopped in front
of Flaherty's house still singing. After a few minutes, the window
flies open and Mrs. Flaherty yells out, "Why don't you drunken sots
go somewhere else?!" "Are you Mrs. Flaherty?" asks one of the
drunks. "You know damn well I am," she says. "Well, can you tell
us which one of us is your husband so the other two of us can go
home?"
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Toon Chips
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Cinderella
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkdfgjfdklg.htm
Cinderella2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mgjkfmgndf.htm
city transit
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mvnxcmvcx.htm
civil wall paper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jgdfgjdf.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phrases For Performance Appraisals
New 'Phrases For Performance Appraisals' Resource Guide Offers Sample
Phrases In Various Categories Of KPIs Used By Professionals To Write
Their Performance Reviews.
http://buffaloschips.com/perform
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Limerick Chips
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Archimedes, the well known truth-seeker,
Jumping out of his bath, cried "Eureka!"
He ran half a mile,
Wearing only a smile,
And became the very first streaker.
_______________________
There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all
And now he's a college professor.
_______________________
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean -
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
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Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep: over 250 funeral poems and readings
With over 250 sympathy poems, quotations and readings for eulogies,
funerals, memorial services, condolence letters and finding inner peace,
this carefully crafted book will help you find the words to express your
grief.
http://buffaloschips.com/weep
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Parting Chips
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Least Popular Canadian Breakfast Cereals
10. Mulroney-Berries
9. Poutine Crunch
8. Frosted Beaver
7. Moose-Nuts
6. Bowlbacon
5. The Tragically Crisp
4. Tundra Bits
3. Igloo Grahams
2. Screech Squares
1. Crunchy, Eh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How to Beat Your Speeding Ticket Using a Proven Method That Has Already
Worked for 12,373 Drivers
Keep reading to discover a fast and simple way to legally avoid paying a
single dime in fines or raised insurance premiums... 100% Guaranteed.
http://buffaloschips.com/ticket
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2088
Party Girl
BJ: Katie!
Katie: Yes, father.
BJ: I have a present for you.
Katie: Oh goody, I knew you would come
to your senses.
Katie unwraps the package and opens the
box and finds....
Katie: A summons!
BJ: Yes, I am counter suing. It reads, I, the
defendant am the party of the first part and
suing Katherine Lillian Kassity, party of the
second part for food, care, lodging, medical
coverage for the past ten years. The total
should come to about ten thousand dollars.
Katie: That is krazy!
BJ: Well the one time you had your spinal
problem cost me two thousand alone, then
you had tick fever twice...remember? I carried
you around.
Katie blushing and looking at the ground: Well,
I do remember.
BJ: Will you admit if I took you to Guthrie, you
might not come in the house when it is time for
me to go to work, and be honest?
Katie: I might not come in it is true.
BJ: With the temps being 110 - 117 degrees you
would die. So you tell me what is best for you,
staying here in Caldwell in an air-condition house
or maybe dying in Guthrie?
Katie whispering: Caldwell.
BJ: How about we both drop this silly suits?
Katie: K... as long as we hug.
BJ: Got it. Come here.
>>>>><<<<<<
The end
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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