Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
During the middle watch at sea a young radar plotter arrived in the
engine room sent by the ops room supervisor. He asked me (Chief of
the Watch) for a "long stand". After about 20 minutes of repeatedly
asking, I finally told him, "If you've come here for a long stand,
you can go back to the ops room, you've been standing here long
enough. fair winds and a following sea to you Buff.Don
I used to enjoy visitors to the engineering spaces, it's like a trip
into the bowels of Hell. Your average black shoe is used to seeing
daylight and warm breezes when they are working and standing their
watch. They walk past the grey Ellison self-closing doors day after
day and
never think about what goes on below decks until they get sent down
there on a task or for extra duty. We always ran more exhaust
blowers down there than supply blowers so it put the space under a
small vacuum to help pull the hot air out and when you tried to open
the door to the access trunk it was like someone holding on to it
from the
other side. It felt like you were being sucked into the ship and the
door would slam shut behind you. That dull whine that you heard or
felt all over the ship, the sound of steam turbines was already up
around 90 decibels and a box of disposable ear plugs was hanging on
the wall which was good for a short trip but prolonged stay or the
noisier areas required a set of Mickey Mouse ears same as if you
were working on the flight deck.
As you went down past the first watertight hatch you noticed the
line printed on the wall that was the waterline, so from here on you
were underwater. You went down two more levels and you were at the
hatch going down into the engineering space and you are on sensory
overkill. It is hot, like the Mojave Desert hot, and just about
everything that doesn't have a thick insulating
pad on it is hot enough to fry an egg and much of it will light a
cigarette and just brushing up against something can peel
a layer of skin off of you. There are miles of piping down there all
stenciled with contents and arrows and warnings and of course where
steam and water is involved leaks. You never know whether the drip
you are walking under is steaming hot or
chilled water cold. Because of all of the piping and machinery, it
is hard to light the whole space and you have areas that are dark,
hot, and dirty.
It is enough that most visitors don't come back but you see a few
that actually request a transfer to what is called the pit or the
hole, and some do become good snipes because after all it is only a
job and although it may look like hell, it only lasts for thirty
years
max whereas hell is forever.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
buffalo says I am throwing a few ads in today for Tiger Direct which I
have always enjoyed doing business with. I will continue to work a
few extra ads in from the other companies we have worked with in
the past while I look for a new company. I thank everyone for their
kind comments and suggestions but neither asking for contributions
or going with no ads is a good solution. If I take on any more costs
myself related to the internet my wife will shoot me and that will be
the end
of the jokes heh heh. So anyhow hang in there and we shall return
to normal soon.
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Hunting Chips
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Ole was hunting geese up in the slough. He leaned the old 16 gauge
against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it,
the foolish dog knocks the gun over, it goes off and Ole took most of an
ounce of fours in the groin. Several hours later, lying in a Duluth
hospital bed he comes to, and there is his doctor, Sven.
"Vell, Ole, I got some goot news and some bat news. Da goot news is dat
you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin. Dere vas very
little internal damage, and ve vere able to remove all of da buckshot."
"Vhat's the bat news?," asks Ole.
"Da bat news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done
to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena."
"Vell, I guess dat isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic
surgeon?"
"Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in the Minnesota
Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers
so you don't pee in your eye."
Rose
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
whoa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p035.html
windows
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p036.html
here is a good spot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/p037.html
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LOFT Chips
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Three rookies are at batting practice. First guy pops one straight
overhead
that falls back into the stands. He turns to the batting coach and
says,
"What did I do wrong?"
The coach says, "Loft."
The next guy steps up and hits a foul that dribbles near the fence
by first
base. He asks the coach, "What did I do wrong?"
The coach says, "Loft."
The third guy swings and misses. He asks the coach, "What did I do
wrong?"
The coach says, "Loft."
As they're walking to the showers, the first guy finally speaks up.
He says
to the coach, "The three of us made completely different swings, and
when we
asked you what we did wrong you answered the same exact answer each
time.
What is loft?"
The coach says, "Lack of fricking talent."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Singing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young apprentice talent agent went out to dinner and a few drinks
one night. After a few drinks he met a woman and they had a few
drinks together then ended up at his place.
Things start to get pretty hot and he goes down on her. When he
gets close to it he hears something, so he puts his ear closer and
hears singing. It's a high pitched sweet voice singing an old song.
The man is so excited he forgets all about sex, he gets on the phone
and calls his boss.
"Hello Joe you gotta hear this," and he puts the phone down by her
pussy where the singing is still going on. "Did you hear that Joe,
Did you hear it?"
Joe says, "What the hell's wrong with you? Did you wake me up at
three o'clock in the morning just to hear some cunt sing!
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Condom Chips
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A young Scotsman was all set up for his very first screw, but his
girlfriend says, "Sorry Jock, not without a condom."
Young Jock searched the town high and low, but being a Sunday, every
place was closed.
Walking around, he eventually met Old Angus, a very good friend of
his father. Young Jock explained his problem.
Old Angus said, "Don't worry son, I can help you out."
Young Jock took off and the night was beyond his wildest
expectations. A week later, he met Old Angus in the street and told
him about his experience.
"It was wonderful, Angus. Thanks to you, I had the best time I have
ever had."
"Just glad I could help out son; now where's the condom?" asked Old
Angus.
Young Jock looked at him and replied, "I threw it away."
Old Angus, with a scowl on his face, said, "Ah, yer in trouble now
laddie--that condom belonged to the club."
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Leg Chips
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A man and his wife, moved from Conroe , Texas to Mendenhall, MS .
The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Texas , it
cost them $2000. Per year!
When they arrived in Mendenhall, they went to an insurance agency to
see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on the computer and said: '$39.' The husband
was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Mendenhall to
insure it because it cost him $2000 in Texas.
The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and
said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden
structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39... You just
have to know how to describe it!'
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Melva/Mama's Prayers
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Give Praise
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Surfin Surfari
self propelled ice fishing shanty
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50+ pictures of amazingly colourful insects
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TEXAS RULES OF ETIQUETTE!
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Judge Judy - Here's Who You Support With Taxes
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Doggie Zone
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Water Power
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Way Cool Toy
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Wekker Problem
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Westfall Horse Video
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clinton Chips
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Bill and Hilary Clinton were the guests of
honor at the World Marching Girl and Drum
Majorette Championships in New York.
Hilary noticed that Bill had a smile on his face,
so she said, " Well honey, what are you smiling at?"
Bill replied, "Honey, if I had another inch,
I'd be pretty popular amongst them Marching Girls."
A big smile came across Hilary's face. Bill said,
"What are you smiling about?"
Hilary replied, "Bill, if you had one inch less,
you'd be out there marching with them."
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Toon Chips
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Chicken bj
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vhkcbjkclbc.htm
chili night
http://www.buffaloschips.com/bncvjbnkcvbvc.htm
chinese
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hkfjbhkfghgf.htm
chinese2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nvcmkbncv,bv.htm
choir
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nvkbjkclg.htm
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Limerick Chips
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And nothing could make a man madder
Than losing to some woman's bladder
I see them some nights
All hitting the heights
That no man could reach with a ladder
~~~~~~
St. David of Wales is unique
But not for the words he would speak
Or the life that he led;
He's, oddly, instead
Remembered for taking a leek.
~~~~~~
In one little whorehouse I've been
I sampled the charms of Maureen
Affection I sought
But something I caught
Was turning my gonads to green
~~~~~~
I wouldn't think that was so bad
As the sweet little thing that I had
In gay old Paris --
What she gave to me
Has turned my poor gonads to plaid
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Parting Chips
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An old sea captain, and a little guy who played the fiddle, were
arguing about women.
The old sea captain tells the little fiddle player that women can't
be trusted, and they will not be faithful under any circumstances.
The little fiddle player said well he bet his wife would not do
anything like that.
So, the old sea captain said he would bet his ship and cargo against
the fiddler player's violin that she would be unfaithful.
The fiddle player took the bet, and invited the sea captain over to
his house, and sent the two of them into the bedroom while he waited
outside the door.
A half hour went by and he heard nothing from his wife, so he
started singing to the tune of Auld Lang Sine:
Be true, my love, be true my love, It's only for an hour. Don't
screw, my love, don't screw, my love, And the ship and cargo's ours.
She sang back to him:
Too late, my love, too late, my love, He's got me round the middle,
He's screwed me once, he'll do it twice, And you've lost your damned
old fiddle!!!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2081
The Door Pt 2
Diana: We really need to put the doggies in the dog
run as we will be gone for a while.
BJ: Okay, I will do that while you get the car running.
BJ and Diana go out and about running their errands
and return.
BJ: Diana you stay in the car, we may have burglars
in the house... I saw a curtain move.
Diana: It might just be one of the cats.
BJ: No, I thought I saw a large head by the curtain.
BJ enters the house and deftly goes upstairs... the TV is
on...BJ sneaks into the living room. Sandi is asleep as
is Katie and Val. Rudy is in the recliner watching TV.
BJ: How did you get in the house?
Rudy: Broke door down. No, broke two doors down.
BJ: Ack!!!!!
The herd
(yes the rude broke the door from the dog run into the
garage and for the second time shattered the door from
the garage to the house.... 3 doors in a short while. Replaced
by metal doors)
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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