Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom he needs Viagra.
The mom asks, "Why on earth do you need that?"
The little boy replies,
"isn't that what you give dad when HIS shit won't get hard?!"
___________

An atheist was walking through the woods one day.
"What majestic trees!
"What powerful rivers!
"What beautiful animals!,"
he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him. He turned to look.
He saw a seven-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over
his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even
closer! He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was
right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw,
and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant moment, the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!"
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent! Even
the BIRDS had stopped chirping!
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny My existence for all these years, teach others I don't
exist and even credit Creation to cosmic accident. After all that,
do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament? If
I do this for you, then am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, and said, 'It
would be hypocritical of me suddenly to ask You to treat me
as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the Voice.
The light went out, the sounds of the forest resumed, and the bear dropped his right paw,
brought both paws together, bowed his head and he spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
___________

Dear redneck son
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live
where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that
most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't
be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that
lived here took the house numbers with them when they moved so they wouldn't
have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about
it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first
time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be
too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off
and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because
it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet
so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull
him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a Ford pickup truck. Butch was
driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety.
Your other two friends were in the back.
They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!
There isn't much more news at this time..
Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom
_____________

FUN PAGES

Just The Tip
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44379&s=n

Snowmobile Crashes Into A Tree
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44267&s=n

Crazy Snowmobile Accident
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44271&s=n

Burger King in Detroit
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44320&s=n

School Play
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44448&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

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