THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It has been a very busy fourth of July weekend for us.
Usually, we do not have much going but for some reason,
we did for this particular holiday. Perhaps it was because
she happened to have the weekend off, possibly. I don't know.
Anyways, we went out last night to see the White Caps,
that is our minor league here. They played some pretty lame
ball but it was ok just the same, had a nice decent fireworks
display afterwards that was actually better than the ones
that the city puts on. And it was easy to get in and out
with good handicap access for me. so it was worth going to
see the game, even if they did lose. We also bbq'ed with
family. that is always fun. the ribs were just awesome with
a little home made tator salad and corn on the cob, complete
with cornbread. We even took in a movie at the cheapseat
theatre. it was not a great movie, but it was ok. We will
be out to the beach today, (monday) as the war department
has a 3 day weekend. I probably won't be swimming because
of my health issues, but a good book and company with my
fam along is a pleasant day no matter what happens. I
hope you have had a good forth of July also!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
There seems to be an ongoing issue with yahoogroups,
that being the problem of occasional double issues.
No, its not me losing my mind. apparently it is some
glitch with yahoo. no need to unsubscribe once, you
are not listed twice. About all we can do is wait until
yahoo gets it sorted out. But hey, after all its free,
so we can't b*tch too loudly eh?
THE COMICS
training your dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f000.html
Mr. Bailey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f001.html
your wife
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f002.html
fiber
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f003.html
sorry lady
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f004.html
beware
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f005.html
bed n breakfast
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f006.html
oh father
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f007.html
scratch n sniff
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f008.html
_________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
9 (Classy) Ways to Treat a Woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9886.html
Leann Rimes National Anthem
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9887.html
the gunfight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9888.html
the hampster
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9889.html
pitstop accident
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9890.html
____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
camping in Africa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd218.html
read alone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd219.html
unemployed entreprenuer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd220.html
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other
problem can there be greater than this one?"
____________
Son: "Mom, do all fairy tales begin with `Once upon a
time' and `long ago'?" Mom: "No dear, sometimes they
begin with `honey, I was delayed at the office...'"
__________
"Doctor, won't you please kiss me?" asks the patient.
"No. You're a very beautiful woman, but it's against
my code of ethics," replies the doctor.
"Please, just one kiss," she pleads.
"Sorry," says the doctor. "It's totally out of the question.
I shouldn't even be fucking you."
____________
Michael gets to heaven and meets Elvis.
Elvis asks him "Aren't you the fellow that married my daughter?"
Michael replies "Yes I am, pleased to meet you"
Elvis shakes his hand and says "Thank God, I heard she'd married a nigger."
___________
One day a professor was giving a big test to his students.
He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a
$100 note to his test with a note saying "A Dollar per percentage point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
This student got back his test and $64 change.
____________
This lady called to make reservations on a small charter plane.
She knew she would be flying in a very small plane, so she
wasn't surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full
with baggage and passengers."
Then he asked, "How much do you weigh, Ma'am?"
Not thinking clearly, she answered, "With or without clothes?"
"Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?"
_______________
There's this young single guy on a cruise ship, having the time
of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams
into an iceberg and begins to sink.
Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning
but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and,
using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through
the shark-infested sea to a remote, deserted island.
Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion,
he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious,
barely breathing. She's also managed to wash up on shore from
the sinking ship. He makes his way to her, and with some
mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing
again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful,
"My God, you saved my life!"
He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!
Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the
island together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the
trees, and they're in heaven. Cindy's fallen madly in love
with our man, and they're making passionate love morning,
noon and night.Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind
of glum. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks,
"We have a wonderful life together, I'm in love with you.
Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?"
He says, "Actually, Cin, there is. Would you mind, um,
putting on my shirt?""Uh, sure," she says, "if this will help."
He takes off his shirt and she puts it on.
"Now would you put on my pants?" he asks.
"Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says.
"Um, OK, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache
on your face?" he asks.
"Whatever you want, honey," she says, and does.
Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?"
She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets
off in the other direction. They meet up halfway around the island
a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders,
and says,"Dude! You'll never believe who I'm banging!"
__________
A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem.
After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?"
"My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician.
"Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!"
"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust
my fee to three hundred."
"Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous."
"Well, then, could you afford two hundred?"
"Who has that kind of money?"
"Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated,
"Just give me fifty bucks and get out."
"I can give you twenty," says the man. "Take it or leave it."
"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to
the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?"
"Listen, Doctor," says the patient, "When it comes to my health,
nothing is too expensive."
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Home Paternity Test
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aiou.htm
Homemade Water Slide
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azxdc.htm
Homer Koehn
http://www.buffaloschips.com/avcf.htm
__________
FUN PAGES
Patchworkz
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41771&s=n
Mario vs Boo
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41595&s=n
Blonde Secretary
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20496&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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