Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It is 80 degrees outside and humid with two days of rain on the
ground but more thunderstorms expected for the next two days.
I hate the humidity, everything sticks to you. I hopped in the
shower
last night and the water turned brown, reminding me of my days at
the flywheel factory.
Eva got a sliver in her toe last night. It took two people to hold
her
down while I removed it with tweezers and she was screaming
bloody murder the whole time. She even had a fit when we washed her
foot to find the sliver. She had better get over it, with the stunts
she
pulls she is in for a lot of bumps and bruises in life and if she
has
to put on an Academy Award performance for each one. She was limping
around here like Chester from Gunsmoke for awhile and then
chasing cats like a marathon runner a few minutes later.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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TV Chips
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A farmer finally decided to buy a TV. The store assured him that
they would install the antenna and TV the next day. The next
evening the farmer turned on his new TV and found only political ads
on every channel. The next morning he turned the TV on and found
only political ads again. When he came in to eat lunch he tried the
TV again but STILL only found political ads. The next day when he
still found only political ads he called the store to complain. The
owner said that it was impossible for every channel to only have
political ads, but agreed to send their repairman to check the TV.
When the TV repairman turned on the TV he found that the farmer was
right! After looking at the TV for a while, he went outside to
check the antenna. In a few minutes he returned and told the farmer
he had found the problem.
The antenna had been installed on top of the windmill and the ground
rod was in the manure pile.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
dick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f027.html
insomnia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f028.html
error
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f029.html
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Short Chips
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A man shows up for his first day of work aboard a cruise ship. He
soon discovers there are no women on board, so he seeks out the
captain. "Captain!" he says, "There are no women on this ship! What
will we do for pleasure?" "Not to worry, laddie," the captain says
as he walks the man over to a barrel. "Just stick your willie in the
hole in this barrel here. That'll take care o' ya!" The man is a
little ambivalent about this at first, but the next day he decides,
"What the heck?" and tries it. The sensation is wonderful! The man
begins to do this every day. He notices the other men aboard the
ship are doing it too. One day he does it and feels nothing. So he
seeks the captain out. "Captain!" he says, "I didn't feel anything
from the hole in the barrel today!" "Sorry, laddie, forgot to tell
ya," the captain says. "Today it's your turn to be in the barrel!"
The guy who delivers our office supplies has a heavy Portuguese
accent, and when he saw the National Geographic video about seals
sitting on the table he smiled broadly and shouted, "Foka! Foka!"
"No," I said, "If you fuck one of those in this country I'm pretty
sure you'll go to prison on some 'humping and en-dangered species'
charge." "No, no, no," he said quickly. "Foka mean 'seal' in
Portuguese." "I see," I said pointing to the big seal next to the
little seal in the picture. "So I'm betting that that's the mother
foka?"
Stan Kegel
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Potty Chips
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Little Johnny was just being potty trained, and his mom tried this
new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants.
2. Pull pants down.
3. Pull foreskin back.
4. Pee.
5. Push foreskin forward.
6. Pull pants up and button.
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny saying,
"1,2,3,4,5,6" and she was thinking she did good.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast
3-5,3-5,3-5...
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the
teacher asked the children what their fathers did for
a living. All the typical answers came up-fireman,
policeman, salesman, etc...
Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so
the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and
takes off all his clothes in front of other men.
Sometimes, if the offer's really good,he'll go out to
the alley with some guy and make love with him for
money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement,
hurriedly set the other children to work on some
coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is
that really true about your father?"
"No," said Johnny, "He plays for the
Chicago Cubs , but I was too embarrassed to say so."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Wonder Chips
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The Love Quiz
-------------
1. What three household items are your idea for a romantic evening?
a) A roll of duct tape, a can of beans and some pliers.
b) A wig, an umbrella and some jumper cables.
c) A snow globe, a water gun and some piano wire
2. When you're whispering in your loved one's ear, how might they
respond?
a) "How dare you talk about my momma!"
b) "Can you move? I can't see the television."
c) "Yes I paid the light bill."
3. Which Stooge best describes how you and your partner fool around?
a) Curly - active and full of energy
b) Moe - abusive and mean
c) Larry - you know..
4.Which of the following is your idea of a romantic meal?
a) Double Quarter Pounder with cheese Meal from McDonalds.
b) The Big Beef Burrito Supreme Meal from Taco Bell
c) An order of Buffalo Wings from Domino's pizza
5. What is your favorite part of your lover's body?
a) The part they can put behind their head.
b) The part they put in your ear.
c) The part that can fix your dinner
Total the points for the answers you gave
-----------------------------------------
1) a=5
b=10
c=0
2) a=10
b=5
c=0
3) a=10
b=0
c=5
4) a=5
b=0
c=10
5) a=5
b=10
c=0
What does it all mean?
----------------------
50-41: A Rose
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, and you, my friend,
have
dived head first in a vat of the old "Love Potion Number Nine."
40-31: A Sunflower
Your techniques are dead on target but a little refresher course
from
Mr. Feelgood might raise your HMO, if you know what I mean.
(Actually I
don't know what I mean.)
30-21: A Daffodil
Things will heat up when the pressure's on but they can disappear
quickly with a quick gust of the wind. Kiss your lover before they
kiss
you goodbye.
20-11: A Tulip
Chances are your significant other thinks you're boring, dull and
unattractive. Now here's the bad news...
10-0: Crabgrass
Your significant other thinks you're clinically dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/ Old Mill Stream
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc2/oldmillstream.html
Carol w/ God's Splendor
http://www.carolspoetry.com/07jan/4.html
Are You Dissatisfied With Yourself?
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/AreYouDissatisfied.html
Choices
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/choices.htm
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Make your own tombstone.
http://www.jjchandler.com/tombstone/
How Child Car Seats Work
http://auto.howstuffworks.com/child-car-seat.htm
How Low Riders Work
http://auto.howstuffworks.com/lowrider.htm
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Graphic Lines
http://www.lirmm.fr/bib-icons/Stanford/lines.html
Countdown Scripts
http://www.scripts.com/javascript-scripts/countdown-scripts/
Bubble Graphics
http://www.scri8e.com/effects/bubbles/index.php
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.petinfo4u.com/dogs.htm
Kitty Korner
Mexican Lion
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lion.html
Newborn Moose
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moose.html
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Movie Links
Anillocompromiso
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjhgkhl.htm
Arab
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtuhiuuh.htm
Baby Boomers Battle
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtdfhgujghjh.htm
Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhvgjdkfghdkfg.htm
beer launcher
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hnjkdfjhgdklghg.htm
Lazy River Pee Prank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdwqw.htm
Leno Needs Body Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrf.htm
Let the Beast Go
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acdsd.htm
Levis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adewwrr.htm
Lip Balm Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axsdf.htm
Hoppalas Turnen
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gcfdrde.htm
In God We Trust
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsxs.htm
Interessant Eierschlange
http://www.buffaloschips.com/awereew.htm
You Know That Has To Hurt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aswsw.htm
Javelin Live Fire VS T72
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axdxs.htm
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Typing Chips
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A woman goes to an office to apply for the typist's job, and the
manager is interviewing her:
"How fast can you type?"
"Well, I'm not sure, but I really need this job."
"Well, can you type 80 words a minute?"
"No, sir, I don't think so, but I really need this job."
"Perhaps, then, you can type 60 words a minute?"
"Maybe not quite that fast, but I really need this job."
"Ma'am, can you type 40 words a minute?"
"No, sir, that may be a little too fast, but I really need this
job." "Tell me, please if you can type 20 words a minute."
"I'm not really so sure, but but I really need this job." "Oh, I
see," said the interviewer, "you're just a hunt-n-pecker."
"Sir," she said, pulling herself up to show her full dignity, "I am
not huntin' anything. I TOLD you I REALLY need this job!"
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Toon Chips
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A XXXmas Story
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0re.htm
Anger Management
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ohj9.htm
Angry Residents
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9j43.htm
Good Lickin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kriw.htm
Anna Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/iefj.htm
Anna's House
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5e6.htm
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Limerick Chips
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Whitey was a kid who had a knack
For running around the high school track
But one day his lance
Fell out of his pants
Now he is called tic tac.
There once was a preacher's daughter
Who resented the pony he bought her
Till she found that it's dong
Was as hard and as long
As the prayers her father had taught her
She married a man named Tony
Who soon caught her fucking the pony
He cried, "What's it got
My dear, that I've not?"
And she sighed, "just a yard-long bologna
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If your sick and tired of the heat!!
This could be the most important letter you read this year!! You can
find out in this letter how to reduce heat stress and improve your
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Make your Body Cooling Vest cheaply for about $15. A
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Parting Chips
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A man inherited a bunch of money & decided that he wanted to visit
Egypt to see the old ruins.
He went to Jamal's used camel lot to purchase a camel to ride across
the desert, as he had seen in may movies.
Jamal had camels in groups $200.00, $500.00 & $1000.00 camels. W
"What's the difference" our exploring friend asked? "the length of
time they can go without stopping for water" replied Jamal. For
example a $1000.00 camel can go a week without a drink.
Not wanting to be stuck in the desert, our hero purchased the most
expensive camel on the property.
He loaded up the nest morning & headed out across the burning sands.
After only 2 days the camel was nearly stepping on his tongue from
thirst.
Returning, in a furor, to Jamal's he complained about the
performance of his steed. "Did you brick him" asked Jamal? "Brick
him?"
At that point Jamal took the camel to a water trough. While the
camel was drinking he took 2 bricks and smashed the camels testicles
between them. The camel drew in a large breath in pain.
"There now he'll go a week!"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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