Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
At the city's parades the Antique Tractor Association is always
present with their old tractors and engines. Most of them are
tractors that farmers were using every day when I was young.
Some like the International W-4, Farmall H and M, and the Ford 8N
are still everyday workhorses. When I was young my dad's tractors
were all on steel wheels. He used them in the woods and pulley
power for the buzz saw and only occasional plowing for a garden.
Steel Wheels are fine on dry hard ground but hit a wet spot and the
steel wedges on the wheels that give you traction will have you
buried to the frame in two spins.
The popular way to get out was to chain a fence post to the wheel
and let the tractor pull itself up on the post. If you weren't
careful the fence post would come around and knock you out to the
south forty like Babe Ruth.
The first rubber tired tractor we had was a Farmall F-20 made in the
mid 30's. It had 20 drawbar horsepower and would pull a double
bottom plow and it was a row crop tractor. This meant that the
front wheels were close together and if you hit a whole or a plow
furrow it would jerk the steering wheel violently out of your hands.
You always drove with your hands open on the wheel and ready to hit
the clutch. This let the wheel slip if you hit something and
prevented broken wrists or thumbs. The other danger of the wheels
turning suddenly was the chance of a rollover. We all lost friends
crushed under those type of tractors, all of who made the same
mistakes of driving to fast for where they were at. I never got a
chance to drive the F-20. We had just got a few cows and built a
barn and we were taking In loose hay using a mower, dump rake, and
loader all designed for horses that had a tractor hitch added.
These all required someone to operate them and as the oldest at 10 I
was designated to ride them and pull the levers and push the foot
pedals. It was boring and I was in a world of my own dreaming of
being a fighter pilot or such and I would dump the hay in random
spots instead of a straight line and my dad would be up on the
tractor swearing at me loud enough you could here him a half mile
away.
Later after everything was dry you came back with a hay loader
hooked behind the wagon and the drum and the fingers picked the hay
up about ten feet in the air and dropped it on the wagon.
I was up there with a pitchfork spreading the hay out over the wagon
and packing it down till the hay got up above the hay loader.
I paid attention when I was doing this because if you got too close
to the edge of the wagon you fell off with a big chunk of hay.
I'll tell you some more tomorrow..... buffalo
Contrary to popular belief I still am posting daily. It seems that
most
of the ISP's at one time or another have blocked me for reasons only
known to themselves. I am only delivering the mail that people have
requested and you are not getting the services you paid to get. This
week it is Comcast and Cox. If you stop getting your mail, after a
day
or two call your ISP and tell them to fix their problem and give you
your
mail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SAVE $60 - FREE SHIPPING - Gateway Netbook Intel Atom 1.6GHz 1GB
DDR2 160GB HDD 10.1" Win7 Red $269.97
http://buffaloschips.com/tdntbk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fishing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of
Alaska for some sight seeing. He was cruising along the campground
in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the
edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a
"Save the Whales" hat, and a "To hell with Bush" T-Shirt, was
screaming while struggling frantically, and thrashing around trying
to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came
racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest.
The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious
Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three
loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed
of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat
in the back seat. As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them
to come over.
"I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I
heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and
Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own
eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies, "Who
was that guy?"
"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with
Heaven and has access to all wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he
doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait
holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get
another one?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the postal service
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f037.html
waiter!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f038.html
baby boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f039.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I once made love for an hour and five minutes. It was on the day
you push the clocks ahead."
After giving the hired man a dressing down for being late in
returning with supplies, the farmer demanded, "Okay, now let's hear
how it happened, Miller."
"Well, I picked up a minister along the road," explained the hired
hand, "and from there on the mules couldn't understand a word I
said."
Doug came home unexpectedly early from work only to find his wife
lying in bed naked with large hickies all over her neck and big red
bruises and red welts all over her breasts. She had obviously been
ravaged in sexual passion. Doug then noticed a burning cigar on the
nightstand next to the bed. He screamed at his wife, " What is
going on here, who did this to you?"
His wife calmly and innocently said, "No one Doug, Whenever I try to
smoke a cigar, I break out in a rash!"
A senior nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital.
"This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you.
The men on this floor are almost well."
I had parked my car in the supermarket parking lot and was walking
past an empty cart when I heard a female voice say, "Mister, are you
using that cart?"
"No," I answered. "I'm only after one thing."
As I walked toward the store, I heard her murmur, "Typical male."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Encore Dental
-Plans for individuals and families
-Different levels of benefits tailored to fit your needs
-Major and basic services covered
-No claim forms to fill out
-Not a discount plan
-No waiting for reimbursement
Keep your own dentist too!
Protect their smiles and your wallet!
Encore Dental
Limited time, Internet offer.
http://buffaloschips.com/encore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crab Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny got the crabs from a girlfriend and wanted to know how
to get rid of them. There are three options.
1. Hold a mirror opposite of your genitals and the crabs will think
that there is another crotch to jump off onto.
2. Shave off half of your pubic hair, set the other half on fire
and stab the crabs with an ice pick when they run out of the first
half.
3. Go to a movie; buy a box of popcorn, a coke, and a pack of milk
duds. When the movie is really getting to a point of real
excitement be sure to drop some of the popcorn into your lap so the
crabs can eat some of the popcorn. The salt in the popcorn will
make the crabs really thirsty, and they will go to the lobby to get
some water.
While they are gone, you get up and move to another seat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Right to Bare Legs - Get smooth, sexy legs that look airbrushed to
perfection.
The right to bare legs allows your own skin tone to glow through for
a perfect blend and natural look for your legs. It goes on smoothly,
evenly, and quickly with a sponge applicator. It's also waterproof,
sweat proof, and wont rub off on your clothes.
Right To Bare Legs moisturizer! Effectively conceal spider veins,
sunspots, birthmarks, bruises and even tattoos!
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/bare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young lady went to a dance, and she had a low-cut, strapless gown
on. Around her neck she wore a little golden airplane on a long
chain. All night she noticed a young man, staring at her.
In her embarrassment, she held up the airplane and said, "Oh, you
like my airplane, huh?"
The young man smiled mischievously. "No ma'am, I was just admiring
the landing field."
In his attempt to put a new patient at ease during a checkup, my
friend, a gynecologist, struck up a casual conversation.
After noticing the label on her sandals read "Hecho en Mexico," he
asked his patient, "So when were you in Mexico?"
Flabbergasted, the patient asked, "You can tell all that from a
pelvic exam?"
Things You Will Never Hear A Man Say.
* I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.
* I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.
* Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again.
* I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open
when she's getting ready for bed. Maybe I should tell her.
* Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines, I don't look at
them anymore.
* I understand.
* This movie has too much nudity.
* Damn, we're late for church.
* No. I don't want to see your sister's tits.
* Put some panties on, for Christ's sake!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pasta Boat - Microwave Cooking Pasta Noodles Fast & Easy
Pasta Boat is the fast and easy way to cook, drain and serve perfect
pasta dishes in one microwaveable pot without the hassle!
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/boat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bad Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy 4'6" tall walks into a bar and orders a drink then stands up
and yells across the bar "Who is the baddest man in here?"
This guy 6'4" stands up and says "I am."
Well, the little guy goes over and whips the shit out of the big man
and leaves.
Next day same thing little man orders a drink and proceeds to whip
the shit out of the baddest man in the bar and then leaves. This
goes on for 2 weeks straight. Finally the bartender decides to do
something so he buys a mean man-eating gorilla.
Next day the little man comes in orders a drink says "Who's the
baddest man here?"
Bartender says "he's in the bathroom!"
After 10 minutes of screaming and yelling the little guy comes out
of the bathroom and tells the bartender when the guy in the bathroom
wakes up tell him his fur coat is in the trash can
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iRenew - New energy for life
Experience instant results the moment you begin using the iRenew
Energy Balance System products. You will get more energy, better
sleep, increase in strength, greater flexibility, enhanced balance
and healthier blood.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/rebs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Wedding Gown
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc2/WeddingGown.html
The Angry American http://www.simplyangel.com/theangryamerican.htm
A Little Her
http://www.poetrybyken.us/lpoems44/A%20Little%20Her.html
The Sleep Metaphor
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/sleepmetaphor.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Northern Lights Pictures
http://www.hickerphoto.com/northern-lights-pictures-cat.htm
Ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphic alphabet translator Via Wesley
http://www.discoveringegypt.com/e-name.htm
Balloon Party!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/party.html
Junkyard Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/junkart.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Deep Burner
http://www.deepburner.com/?r=news&id=58
DVD Shrinker
http://www.dvdshrink.org/
Testing Optical Drives
http://www.cdspeed2000.com/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.coherentdog.org/
Birth Of An Elk!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elk.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Mouse in Her Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acdhhdd.htm
Movie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abghyy.htm
Movie 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acccd.htm
High Fireman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfdd.htm
Milt Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dffrf.htm
Lucky 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsdhdjd.htm
Lucky 3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsjs.htm
Lucky 4
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshslkssjs.htm
Magic 1320
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdhdjd.htm
Magic Food
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdhdjssaa.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bravest man in the world is the man who comes home drunk,
covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume, then slaps his wife on
the backside and says, "You're next, fatty."
When I lived in an apartment complex, a good friend of mine lived
there also and decided it was time for her to get a boob job. Since
I'd been through it, she asked me to go with her. Everything went
well, and that summer we were both at the pool getting some sun.
One of the regular guys in our group, who'd had his eye on my
girlfriend for some time, said to me, "There's something different
about your friend this year, but I can't quite put my finger on it."
After I finished laughing, I said, "And you probably never will
either!"
Frannie went to the doctor, saying she had a problem with her
aviaries. The doctor said, "Frannie, you're being silly. You mean
ovaries. Aviaries are where you find birds." Frannie shook her head
and said she meant *aviaries*. Not prepared to argue, the doctor
told her to get on the couch for an inspection. After a quick look,
he said, "Well, Frannie, you're right! There's been a cockatoo in
there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
archie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjfjff.htm
area
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hfhfhfjedk.htm
army's slogan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hdsdgsg.htm
army
http://www.buffaloschips.com/djsjdjkk.htm
Arnold
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fwetwtw.htm
art
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ppappap.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TAME YOUR MANE - GET PERFECT HAIR EVERY DAY!
No more bad hair days, ever! Get amazingly gorgeous, flawless hair
every day with the InStyler. No more teasing or burning with hot
irons, the InStyler polishes your hair to any style you want. It's
quick, easy, and the results are astonishing.
Polishes and adds incredible shine
Straightens or curls
Uses much less heat - won't fry your hair!
Limited time offer - Try the InStyler for 30 days for just $14.99!
http://buffaloschips.com/style
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snow White was desperate for a fuck
She went to the woods to try her luck.
She'd almost given up looking,
When she saw some chimney smoke,
Then she stumbled on the cottage,
and went in for a poke.
Her clothes came off in seconds.
And she'd just removed her pants,
When seven dwarfs came marching in,
with a merry song and dance.
Snow White just stood there speechless,
and thought she was in heaven,
originally after one good shag,
But now she could have seven.
Straight away she took command,
"My fanny needs a lick!"
And when one dwarf moved forward,
She said "Oi-you'd better drop your pick"
So down he went onto all fours,
and said "I ain't licking that",
"Not there, that is my arse-hole,
You DOPEY little brat!"
The next dwarf started blushing,
"Do we have to do it here?"
Snow White said "Don't be BASHFUL,
Unless you're a fucking queer"
So reluctantly he whipped it out,
To prove he was no fool.
And Snow White gave a big "Heigh-Ho".
As she rode upon his tool.
Now one dwarf wasn't smiling.
Cos he hadn't had a sniff,
and due to his impatience,
He couldn't raise a stiff.
"Relax, you GRUMPY bastard",
So he did as he was told,
And as soon as he was hard enough,
He shot his fucking load.
The next dwarf got a blow-job,
And she took him deep quite easy,
But she just avoided brain-damage,
When he sneezed, she called him SNEEZY.
With three dwarfs left she turned and said,
"You're next, I want your knob!"
But no sooner than he had entered her,
And he was sleeping on the job.
"Wake up you SLEEPY bastard"
She wanted more from him.
And he woke with such excitement,
that he filled her hairy quim.
The next dwarf rammed his up her,
and shagged her fanny raw,
a dazed Snow White them whimpered.
"That should be against the law."
He made poor Snow White tremble,
He was so big and thick.
"No wonder you're so HAPPY,
With that fucking great big prick"
With one dwarf still remaining,
But feeling rather sore,
She said "You'll have to use your tongue,
My twat can't take no more!"
And so he put his tongue to work,
Where others had placed their cocks,
And 'cos he made Snow White feel better,
She named the last dwarf DOC.
Now Snow White couldn't do much,
With all that cum inside her quim,
So she grabbed a cup, and squatted,
And filled it to the brim.
So there's the truth about the dwarfs,
and how they got their names,
by satisfying Miss Snow White,
and joining in her games.
There's one more thing you need to know,
And that's - What happened to that cup,
Well think of what you're drinking,
when you next buy 7-Up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If your sick and tired of the heat!!
This could be the most important letter you read this year!! You can
find out in this letter how to reduce heat stress and improve your
life and the life of those you care about!! with a Body Cooling
Vest.
Make your Body Cooling Vest cheaply for about $15. A
Decent Cool Vest retails for around $180. Get better results
at work and feel better at the same time.
http://buffaloschips.com/cool
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her
95-year-old Grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
replied, He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday
morning.' Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly
100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
Oh no, my dear,' replied granny. 'Many years ago, realizing our
Advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the
church bells would start to ring.
It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even.
Nothing too strenuous, simply, in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, 'He'd still be alive
if the ice cream truck hadn't come along.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fantastic Fish Ponds
You'll Have The Fish Pond You've Always Dreamed of Or You Get to
Keep This Breakthrough Book For FREE!
Jam-packed With Proven Techniques That Will Teach You How to Have
the Ultimate Backyard Fish Pond and Make Sure Your Fish Are Healthy
and Happy - Guaranteed!
http://buffaloschips.com/fish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1834
Continued Adjustments - Caldwell
Diana: Where is Rudy?
Val: I haven't seen him.
Diana: Well he can't be far, there are only so many rooms.
Val: Found him. He is on Dad's bed.
Diana: Wow how did he make it there? Dad's bed has two mattresses
on it.
Val: I guess he thinks it is his job. He slept on Dad's bed in
Guthrie
so ....
Diana smiling: That's okay we will let him sleep.
Val: Then we can have supper?
Diana: Sure I have some pork chops cooking.
Rudy: A-rooo!
The Herd in Caldwell
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment