Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
As you have requested here is August's list of Bizarre Holidays.
Face it not a lot to get excited about during August, it's hot,
vacation's over, so here are some reasons to crack open a Bud or for
example on the 3rd, go get a large traditional watermelon, chill and
fill with vodka and enjoy.
8/1 Friendship Day and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
8/2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
8/3 National Watermelon Day
8/4 Twins Day Festival
8/5 National Mustard Day
8/6 Wiggle Your Toes Day
8/7 Sea Serpent Day
8/8 Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night
8/9 National Polka Festival
8/10 Lazy Day
8/11 Presidential Joke Day
8/12 Middle Child's Day
8/13 Blame Someone Else Day
8/14 National Creamsicle Day
8/15 National Relaxation Day and National Failures Day
8/16 Bratwurst Festival
8/17 National Thrift shop Day
8/18 Bad Poetry Day
8/19 Potato Day
8/20 National Radio Day
8/21 National Spumoni Day
8/22 Be An Angel Day
8/23 National Sponge cake Day
8/24 Knife Day
8/25 Kiss-And-Make-
8/26 National Cherry Popsicle Day
8/27 Petroleum Day
8/28 World Sauntering Day
8/29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day
8/30 National Toasted Marshmallow Day
8/31 National Trail Mix Day
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Drink Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy went into a bar, sat down on a stool, and
ordered a Bloody Mary. The bartender said, "Sorry, we
don't have that, but we've got the next best thing."
The guy asked, "Okay, what is it," and the bartender
said, "We've got a Harry Man." The guy said, "No
thanks."
Then the guy asked, "How about a virgin?" and the
bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't have that either.
But we got the next best thing."
The guy asked, irritated, "Okay, what is it?" The
bartender replied, "We got a Furry Belly."
The guy looked around and saw everyone drinking and
said, "All right, fine, I'll have one."
So the guy had about five, and when he was finished the bartender
walked
over to him and told him how much he had to pay. He reaches deep
down
inside his pocket and pulls out a couple handfuls of food stamps.
The
bartender looked at the food stamps and said, "Hey, this isn't
money!"
And the guy says, "I know, but it's the next best
thing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
football
http://www.thepostm
end of the rainbow
http://www.thepostm
slut
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Cat Will Ignore You For Food
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Catching Cell Phones
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Catholic Priests National Convention
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the
third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now?
Bob: Darts?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Shoot some pool?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Cards?
Bill: Nah. Hey, I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and
fool
around with my wife.
Bob: Whadaya mean?
Bill: Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around
with
my wife.
Bob: What about me?
Bill: She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
Bob: Well... if you think it's okay...
Bill: Sure. C'mon, let's go!
At Bill's house:
Bill: Honey, I'm home. Honey. Sweetheart! Damn! She must have gone
shopping. Tell ya what, Bob. Let's go to your house!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day Little Johnny went walking
around to check out his surroundings
and found a farmer selling chickens.
Little Johnny went over to the farmer
to see how much he was selling them for.
The farmer asked him if he wanted a
male or a female. Little Johnny asked
for both. So the farmer said, "Here you
go, one cock and one pullet."
Little Johnny got confused, and asked
him what he meant. The farmer said,
"A cock is a male chicken and a pullet
is a female chicken."
Little Johnny said, "Oh," and went on
his way with two chickens one under
each arm. A bit further down the road
he saw a donkey for sale.
He went to the man who was selling it
to find out how much it was. The
man said, "The ass is 15 dollars."
Little Johnny replied, "No, I want
the donkey out side in your yard."
The man just said, "That's an ass."
Little Johnny, new to these terms,
just said, "Oh," and bought the donkey.
As he was leaving the man yelled out,
"Wait, the ass gets a bit stubborn about
going over hills, so you have to scratch
him behind the ears to get him going
again."
So Little Johnny is going back home
and the donkey stops dead in its
tracks and he can't get it to move.
He can't scratch its ear because he
would have to drop one of the chickens
and it would run away.
So Little Johnny starts to fuss and yell
at the donkey. While he is doing this a
beautiful woman walks up and asks him
if he needs help.
(Little Johnny thinks, hey, why don't I try
to impress this beautiful woman by using
my new terms that I learned today.)
So Little Johnny turns to the woman and
says, "Yeah, could you hold my cock and
pullet while I scratch my ass?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Veranda Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Jewish businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired
was
describing his life. "I get up late in the morning. I have a
fantastic
breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda and relax.
"I go inside for lunch, have great salads, the best coffee,
and I
go out and lie on my veranda again. When it gets dark, I have a
great
dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie
on
my veranda again."
The other Jewish gentleman acknowledges that this is a life
to be
envied.
Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked,
"What's his wife's name?"
Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bee Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young woman was walking through a field gathering spring flowers.
She
wore a sun dress, but no underwear.
When her husband came home for lunch she said she thought a bee
might
have gotten trapped "up there" inside her. Her husband took her to
the
emergency room.
The doctor said to the husband, "Let's rub some honey on your penis,
and
maybe it will coax the bee out."
The husband, refusing, said, "Hey I'm no doctor! I brought her here
for
professional help."
So the doctor rubs honey on his penis and inserts it into the woman.
The husband, next to her the entire time, sees that after awhile his
wife is starting to moan and sweat. He says, "Doctor, is it
working?"
The doctor, thrusting away, replies, "Coaxing it out didn't work. So
now
I'm going to try to shoot it out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER vs. PUSSY!!! There are no losers...really.
1.Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to PUSSY
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to PUSSY
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a
scene,
kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of Pussy your wife may
get
mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be
had
here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
I'll
just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten pussies in
one
night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to PUSSY
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. One
point to PUSSY
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If
you
smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer.
One point to PUSSY
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much
Pussy and you'll think you've seen God. One point to PUSSY
11.. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties
is fun. One point to PUSSY
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to PUSSY
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.
One point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle
or a
can.
One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it
settles down. One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner,ale,
1 7. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink
it. One point to BEER
20. Tapping a Keg... easy. Tapping a Pussy... may take you weeks.
One Point to BEER
Final Score: 11 BEER, 8 PUSSY
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
John w/ All I Have To Do Is Dream
http://heavens-
MARLENE/SWEETER THEN THE FLOWERS
http://summerhoosie
Ray Stevens "Mutant Kung Fu Chickens" from Billyjoe Bob
http://redneckpoetr
Melva/So Fine
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Surfin Surfari
Origin and Meaning of Golf Words and Terms
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Who's Alive and Who's Dead
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Matchstick Art!
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Western Shoot Out
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Hide & Unhide Desktop Icons (windows ) Via Wesley
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Android Apps Directory Via Wesley
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Add Your URL to Google
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Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips
Don't Be Too Smart
http://www.buffalos
Dragon Costume
http://www.buffalos
DUI
http://www.buffalos
Dunham On Marriage
http://www.buffalos
Elephant
http://www.buffalos
English speaking FFs
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Erl I love you
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Ethan
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Euflorie
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Explain that to the boss
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Confucius Says, "Keeping it in family sure sound incestuous."
Second Man: "Well, my girlfriend and I went to the Caribbean, and we
made love three times a day." First Man: "Jamaica?" Second Man: "No,
she did it quite voluntarily" (Richard Lederer)
If you engage in oral sex first, it's not called head start.
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget. (Faye Emerick)
Orgy: Grope therapy.
"Did you really suspect that he thought you were a hooker?" "Well, I
was pretty sure when he said, "I've been a really bad boy! Will it
be
extra if you have to spank me?"
How did the nymphomaniac describe herself in the Personal ad? As a
no
holes barred type of girl
Stan kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tape
http://www.buffalos
Cannot Be displayed
http://www.buffalos
Spongebob!
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01 Hooters Calender
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Real Bullshitter
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A Shit
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young person named Willie
Whose actions were what you'd call silly;
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
Pretending to represent Chile.
____________
There Was A Young Nun From Peru
Whom The Bishop Wanted To Screw,
But She Said 'The Vicar
Is Quicker And Slicker,
And Three Inches Longer Than You.'
____________
There was a young man of L'Hore
Whose dink was one inch and no more
Which was all right for keyholes
And little girls' pee holes
But no good at all with a whore
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman was going to marry one of those guys that wants a virgin
bride.
Since she was not, she went to a doctor to reconstruct her hymen.
The doctor told her that would cost around $500, but there was
another
way that will cost only $50.
The woman agreed to try the cheap way, paid the money, and the
doctor
worked on her for several minutes.
After the "first night", the woman came back to the doctor and told
him
that it was perfect. The pain, the blood, everything was there. She
asked him how he did it.
"I tied your pubic hair together," he answered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys were chatting.
The first old guy says to the second old guy, "My 85th birthday was
yesterday and the wife gave me an SUV."
The second old guy responded, "Wow! That's amazing! Imagine, an
SUV! What a GREAT gift!"
The first old guy says, "Yep! Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1655
Diana's Surgery
BJ: Ready to go to the hospital Diana?
Diana: Ready as I will ever be I guess.
Rudy: I have your stuff in the van Toots.
Katie: I have your wheelchair here mother.
Diana: I do not need a wheelchair going to the hospital Katherine.
Katie: Oh, just trying to be of some help.
Sandi, wearing her nurses outfit: We are going with you.
Diana: Oh dear.
Everyone gets in the van and off they go to the hospital...
At the hospital, Diana gets out and Rudy is shouting: Make way!
Make way, emergency!
Diana: It is not an emergency Rudy, this is a normal surgery.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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