THE POSTMAN'S CORNER You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." -- Ayn Rand  The economy is in crisis and everyone is saving where they can! We'd like to help reduce your stress and financial hardships by putting money back into your pocket! Simply visit below to learn how you can claim your FREE Stimulus Check in the amount of $613.27! We know every dollar and cent helps! http://thepostmansc  Didn't get what you really wanted this holiday season? Here's your chance to put $500 in your pocket and shop for what you REALLY wanted! Act fast!  Bet you'd think of anything to cook now that your moments away from getting a Calphalon(R) One Anodized 8-pc Cookware Set! This cookware set includes a 10" fry pan, 12" fry pan, 3 qt. covered chef's pan, 4.5 qt. covered sauce pan and an 8 qt. covered stock pot. Learn how to get your FREE cookware set by visiting below http://thepostmansc  Congratulations! You have been chosen to receive a $1000 IKEA Gift Card! http://thepostmansc GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS! It rained and rained yesterday. On the plus side, it melted away much of the snow. On the negative side, it has turned everything muddy. My back alley driveway looks like a mudslide and I doubt I'll be using it in the near future. Flood warnings exist throughout most of the county. And I feel sorry for those who live near rivers. Well, maybe I don't. If you buy a house on the riverbank, I guess you have to be prepared for it to flood. But on the other hand. If folks do own property in a flood zone, I wonder why they expect FEMA and their fellow tax payers to bail them out? Just another reason we taxpayers are paying through the nose, I guess. I have discovered that Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat, likes the rain about as much as he likes snow. The first time he went out, he raised his nose up, looked around, and barked ferociously at the raindrops wetting his nostrils. He almost acted like he enjoyed it. However, after a minute or so he realized that he was getting wet and that maybe the rain was not so much fun. It was a battle getting him outdoors all day to do his job. I must confess that the job of "taking out the dog" yesterday was less than enjoyable. Perhaps some of you can answer a question for me:I wanted to be a dog owner because? (Sometimes I need reminding. hehe) Oh well, who knows, maybe tomorrow it will snow. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Martin aka the postman THE COMICS there's been a mistake http://thepostmansc Happy Valentine's day to you too! http://thepostmansc Don't worry http://thepostmansc new to the internet? http://thepostmansc now that's a caring co worker http://thepostmansc ignore the drunk http://thepostmansc what's in the belly http://thepostmansc take a break http://thepostmansc  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES you are what you eat http://thepostmansc Ennio Marchetto http://thepostmansc the smallest man in the world and the tallest woman http://thepostmansc did you know shopping with your wife could be fun? http://thepostmansc african booze tree http://thepostmansc smelly sneakers http://thepostmansc a moment of clarity http://thepostmansc NHL Commercials http://thepostmansc ____________ how would you like a gravestone like this?  INTERESTING STUFF Darnay's ultra easy Internet locator website http://thepostmansc Johnny Carson and Dom Deluis http://thepostmansc cool person test http://thepostmansc on the cover of Sports Illustrated http://thepostmansc AIG implodes: explained by the two cows http://thepostmansc COOL PICS Three women were talking about their love lives The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce, smooth and sophisticated. The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche, fast and powerful." The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start, and I have to jump on while it's still going." ____________ Mexico City has begun working on expanding its subway system. That's right. Apparently, they're adding stops in San Diego and Los Angeles. (Conan O'Brien) ____________ BAD PICK UP LINES 1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? 2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning! 4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? 5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. 6. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from. 7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. 8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f*ck. 9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass! 10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays? ____________ Stunt Dirt Bike http://www.funpagee Rise of Atlantis http://www.funpagee Mysteries of Horus http://www.funpagee Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money! ____________ Once, there was a man who was upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor. "Father, I am sinful." "Yes, son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive you." "Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been 03 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house, nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I slept with her." "That's bad my boy. Fortunately, you realize your mistake." "Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, but nobody was around except for one of her colleagues. So, I slept with her too." "That's not very good of you." "Father, last month, I went to her uncle's house to look for her, nobody was around except for her auntie, and I slept with her too." "Father?.... ..... Father?" Suddenly, this guy realized that there was no response from the Father.He walked over and discovered that the Pastor was not there. So, he began searching for him. "Father? Where are you?" He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano. "Father, why are you hiding here?" "Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except me." ____________ In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who -- in his day -- had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked. The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man."Sure will," replied the old-timer. The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?" "Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man. "You bet it will," said the old-timer. The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?" The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it." The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. The Old Timer said, "No, but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much if it's all greased!" ____________ PAPA Thorn Home entertainment center http://able2laugh. New Cocktail (smut alert) http://able2laugh. Valuable Coupon http://able2laugh. Chocolate bunnies http://able2laugh. FUN PAGES from Lorraine Paparazzi Princess http://tinyurl. Kissing Championship http://tinyurl. BUFFALO BILL Your right hand http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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