THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
You never know what is enough,
until you know what is more than enough.
~William Blake, Proverbs of Hell
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Yesterday was the last day of the war department's
3 day weekend. We look back on it and ask
ourselves what we did, and it is difficult to
figure out where the time went.
Went down yesterday to the cheapseat theater.
We saw "Time traveller". If your wife likes Sci fi,
and you are looking for a chick flick, it may be a
winner for you. Not exactly my kind of movie, but
it was good. Usually, when she has a day off, we
make a big breakfast. Yesterday, it was my turn,
and I chose blueberry pancakes. I love them,
with sausage. Good plan, but unfortunately, I do
not flip cakes so well, and half of the war department's
cake landed in the pan, and the other went splat,
all over the stove top. If I had not purchased
that glass cook top and had the old style stove with
burners, I would have spent a great deal of the day
standing there cleaning the burner. Fortunately, with
a glass cook top it cleaned up pretty good. There are
sometimes I actually do make an intelligent purchase:)
There are also times when it is a good thing to
listen to the war department, who said,
"Get a glass cook top.":)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
THE COMICS
your lady
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b010.html
losing weight painlessly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b011.html
wife material
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b012.html
uh, dear?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b013.html
here I sit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b014.html
fly fishin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b015.html
the fourth hooker
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b016.html
awe come on
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b017.html
twins
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b018.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
changing a fan belt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8427.html
juggling hammers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8428.html
beer commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8429.html
the Toronto maple leafs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8430.html
this buds for you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8431.html
The adventures of Pete and Tink
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8432.html
A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee
pains. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing,
the doctor questions her, "There must be something
you're doing that you haven't told me. Can you
think of anything that might be doing this to your
knees?""Well," she said a little sheepishly, "my
husband and I have sex doggy-style on the floor
every night.""That's got to be it," said the doctor.
"There are plenty of other positions and ways to
have sex, you know.""Not if I'm going to watch TV,
there ain't," she replied.
_____________
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife
that the doctor has told him that he has only 24
hours to live.Given the prognosis, Morris
asks his wife for sex.Naturally, she agrees, so
they make love.About 6 hours later, the
husband goes to his wife and says,'Honey, you know
I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please
do it one more time?' Of course, the wife agrees,
and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into
bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has
only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder
and asks, 'Honey, please... just one more time
before I die.' She says, 'Of course, Dear,'
and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls
to sleep. Morris, however, worried about his
impending death,tosses and turns, until he's down
to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses.
'Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we
could...'At this point the wife sits
up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough
I have to get up in the morning... you don't.'
_______________
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on
the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her
was a basket containing a number tiny creatures;
in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up
beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall,
grinning man."Hi there, little girl, I'm
President Obama. What do you have in the basket?"
he asked."Kittens." little Suzy said.
How old are they? asked Obama. Suzy replied,
"They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."
"And what kind of kittens are they?" "Democrats,"
answered Suzy with a smile. Obama was delighted.
As soon as he returned to his car, he called his
PR chief and told him about the little girl
and the kittens.Recognizing the perfect photo
op, the two men agreed that the president should
return the next day, and, in front of the assembled
media, have the girl talk about her discerning
kittens. So the next day, Suzy was again
standing on the sidewalk with her basket of
"FREE KITTENS" when another motorcade pulled up,
this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and
CNN. Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set
up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over
to little Suzy. "Hello, again," he said, "Id
love it if you would tell all my friends out there
what kind of kittens you're giving away."
"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Republicans."
Taken by surprise, the president stammered, "But...
but... yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS."
Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know.
But today, they have their eyes open."
___________
Greg and Sam, are hanging out in the lone bar
in a one-horse town in northern Idaho, when a
local rancher walks in carrying a wolf pelt.
"Good work!" says the bartender. He pops the
cash register open, pulls out a wad of bills,
and counts them out into the rancher's outstretched
hand. After the rancher leaves, Greg asks the
bartender, "What was that all about?" The barkeep
says, "Haven't you boys heard? We got us a real
wolf problem in these parts, and the county ain't
done a thing about it. Why, just last week, a pack
of the damn varmints come onta my property and laid
waste t'my chicken coop. Ol' Man Miller down the
road even lost four of his cattle to the bloodthirsty
beasts! They're vicious, and they got no fear --
and they gotta be stopped. So I'm offerin' a
bounty -- a hundred dollars to anybody who
brings in a wolf pelt."Greg and Sam look at each
other, and immediately race out of the bar to go
hunt wolves.After wandering around the hills for
several hours, they finally spot a lone wolf in the
distance. Greg takes aim with his rifle and shoots
the wolf dead. The two fellas sprint over to where
the carcass lay, and Greg gets busy with the pelt.
Suddenly, Sam says, "Hey, Greg, look."
"Not now," says Greg, "I'm busy."
Sam tugs on Greg's sleeve and says, "Greg,
I think you *really* ought to see this."
"Not now!" Greg says again. "Can't you see I've
got a hundred dollars in my hands?"
Sam's voice starts to waver. "Greg, please,
just look!" Greg stops what he's doing and looks
up: The two men are surrounded by a pack of wolves --
at least fifty in all, every one of them growling,
drooling, gnashing their teeth, and licking
their chops.Greg takes in the sight and gasps:
"Oh, my ... We're gonna be rich!"
______________
Jim, Bob and Mike go to Heaven and are met
by St. Pete. St. Pete says: "Hey, glad to
have you. Heaven's a great place; we have a
dance every Saturday night and this great
Cadillac you can drive around heaven. There's
only one rule: God's favorite animal is the
duck. If you hit a duck, your punishment is
that you have to attend the dance with the
ugliest girl in heaven. Remember, this is a
big place, so she's pretty ugly." Jim says,
"No problem," gets in the car and drives around
for a couple of hours. When he shows back up
he's got a sad look on his face. "What's the
matter?" asks St. Pete. "I hit a duck," says
Jim. "Well," says St. Pete, "you know the
rules...you have to go to the dance with the
ugliest girl in heaven.....and she's pretty
ugly!" Bob says..."No problem." He gets in
the car only to return with that same sad
look. "Hit a duck?" asks St. Pete. "Yep" says
Bob. "Well, you'll have the second ugliest
girl on Saturday night" said St. Pete.
"Remember... this is a big place so the second
ugliest is pretty ugly." Mike, being the big-
shot that he was, says, "No problem." He jumps
in and drives around for six hours! When he
returns he was asked, "Have any problems?"
"None at all," he replies.Saturday rolls around
and in walk Jim and Bob with the ugliest and
second ugliest women in heaven. They're so
ugly that people can't stand to look at them!
They looked across the room only to see Mike
with a beautiful blonde on his arm. Jim and Bob
become furious and decide to complain to St. Pete.
"Look!" they say, "We were good on earth...
volunteers, coaches, etc. And we come here and
simply hit a duck and have to come to the dance
with these two!! That's not fair! Look at Mike...
that's not fair!"St. Pete says, "Boys, let me
tell you a little secret...just before you guys
showed up here this week, see that girl that Mike
is with? Well, she was driving the Cadillac...
and well......she hit a duck."
BUFFALO BILL
Hot Sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8298.htm
How I crashed my Harley
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8299.htm
How I Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected
http://www.buffaloschips.com/82910.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Do Beer, Not Drugs
http://tinyurl.com/7oaw9e
Adriana Lima Compilation
http://tinyurl.com/a7z6j4
Anna Kournikova Calendar Shoot
http://tinyurl.com/4953vb
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Dog Food Commercial
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000461.html
Dog In Tyre
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000462.html
Dog On Trampoline
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000463.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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