Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It was well past midnight last night and I was trying to convince
Eva to go to bed. After I got her attention I told her that she had
several choices.
A Go to bed.
B Go to bed.
C Go to bed
D All of the above, Go to bed.
I then asked Eva, " What comes after D?" hoping that she would
answer
E, but Eva's reply was, " Go to bed."
Enjoy the chips ... buffalo
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Irish Chips
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How can one *not* love Irish men after so much honesty?
From a 'personals' section from a Dublin newspaper:
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in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football
Club and has been known to starting fights on Patrick Street at
three o'clock in the morning.
Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long
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still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.
Ginger haired Galway man, a born troublemaker, gets
slit-eyed and thirsty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy
lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in
the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21-year-old blonde lady,
with a lovely chest.
Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi
for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20-year-old double-jointed
supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin
sister.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the insurance company
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beer on tap
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ahead of my time
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Dropped This
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Drunk Enough
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Drunk Falling Out Of Car
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I realized that I couldn't satisfy my wife's insatiable sex
appetite," the man said to his drinking buddy, "I bought her quite
an assortment of every sex toy made, thinking that would keep her
faithful."
"Did it work ?" asked the friend.
"Well, kinda..." the man replied. "But now, every time I do feel
like a little, I find myself 3rd or 4th in line."
The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being
sworn in as American citizens.
"It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens
at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?"
"Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook
dinner and I get on top!"
It was really something else, man!" said the cadet policeman to his
partner. "When I was off duty Saturday night, I went to this big
party, see, and pretty soon I noticed this fabulous little bird
giving me the eye. Then she asked me to take her home. And just as
soon as we were in the car, she unzipped me and went right down on
the old fella - and I still didn't even know her name."
"So what did you do?" asked the other cop.
"Well, I figured this was one situation where I'd shoot first and
ask questions afterward."- - - - -
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to the confessional and says, "Forgive me Father, for I
have sinned."
"What is your sin, my child?" The Priest asks.
"Well," the man starts, "I used the 'F'-word today and I feel so
terrible."
"Why don't you tell me what happened. What made you use such awful
language?" asked the Priest.
"Well, I was out golfing and I hit this incredible drive that looked
like it was going to go over 250 yards, but the ball hit a phone
line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground
after going about 100 yards."
"I'm a golfer myself my son" said the Priest "I understand what you
were feeling. So this is when you swore?"
"No Father," said the man,
"You see, after that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my
ball in his mouth and began to run away."
"And this is when you swore?" asked the Father again.
"No not yet. Just as the squirrel was running away, this eagle came
down out of the sky and grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began
to fly away!"
"And it was then that you swore?" asked the amazed Priest.
"No, not yet," replied the man, "Just as the eagle was flying away
with the squirrel he flew towards a wooded area next to the green.
And as he passed over it, the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear then, my son?" asked the now impatient Priest.
"No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some
bushes, careened off a big rock, and then rolled through a sand trap
and on to the green and stopped dead six inches from the hole!" told
the man.
The priest sighed,
"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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School Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a little girl's first day of school and her mother
was both excited and saddened to see her daughter begin
this rite of passage. She sent her daughter off with a
kiss good-bye and a promise of freshly baked cookies
when she got home. Later that afternoon, the daughter comes running
through the door excited to see her mom. The mother greets her and
sits
her down for some milk and cookies - a beginning of a ritual that
will
follow them for many days to come. The mother says, "So tell me
sweetheart, what did you learn today?"
"Well," says the little girl. "I learned where babies
come from."
"You did," exclaims the mother with some concern. "What
did your teacher tell you?"
"Well, first this thing in the dad called sperm meets up
with this egg that's inside the mom and that becomes an
embryo. The embryo travels up through the mom's ovaries
and implants on her uterus. Then the embryo becomes a
fetus. The fetus grows in her womb for nine months and
then she gives birth to a fully developed baby."
"Wow!" the mother says. "Honey, I'm impressed that you
learned that so well."
"Yeah, but Mom, I just have one question," the little
girl says innocently. "How does the sperm and the egg
get together? Does the mom eat the dad's sperm?"
"Oh, no, honey," explains the mom. "That's only when you
want a new dress."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo is that at a
straight rodeo they yell "ride them suckers!"
A happily married man, one night, asked his wife to have sex "doggy
style.""No!" she said, aghast. Throughout their long relationship,
he
would periodically ask her to have sex "doggy style." She always
emphatically said "No!" Finally, on the man's deathbed, he asked his
wife why she refused his simple request to have sex on her hands and
knees." Hands and knees?" she said, "I thought you meant in the
front
yard!"
While on a date in a dark movie theatre, Mary Jane's date slipped
his
hand down her bra. Mary Jane just laughed and laughed. She knew she
kept her money hidden in her shoe.
A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's
surrounded by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously "Is
there a problem?" The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his
eyes, "I'm afraid so... I'm sorry but your notes got mixed up and
we've given you a sex change rather than a vasectomy." The patient
is
devastated and shockingly replies, "Do you mean to say I'll never
experience another erection?" The surgeon pauses for a moment then
says, "Well, you might, but it won't be yours."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toasted Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters Club
and one evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest
was
held to see who could deliver the best toast.
Well, John O'Riley won the contest for the best toast of the
evening,
"Here's To The Best Years o' Me Life, Spent Between The Legs o' Me
Wife."
When John O'Riley arrived home his beautiful wife asked him
how the Toast Masters meeting went and he said, "I won the contest
for
the best toast of the evening."
His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said, "Here's To
The
Best Years o' me Life, Spent in Church wi' me Wife."
His wife then said, "Why John, that's so nice of you to include me
in
your Toast."
The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and ran into
the
local policeman on the beat who was also at the Toast Masters
meeting
with John O'Riley.
He said, "Hello Mrs. O'Riley, that was some great toast that your
husband John gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening. He won
first prize".
"Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't quite honest
with
the facts: he's only been there twice, the first time he fell asleep
and
the second time I had to pull him out by the ears."
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Memories of A Country Store
http://silverandgol
I Love Texas
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The Giver And The Gift
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carolyn w/ Reach Out To Jesus ~Elvis
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My Most Favorite Song
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Niagara Falls Daredevils: a history
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Medical Health Test
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Backing Up Windows XP
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Critter Graphics
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Animal World
Kitty Korner
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MY PRECIOUS FURRY FRIEND
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Movie Links
Never Smash WD-40 can
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New product Nut
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New Shoes
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New Car Alarm
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New Drug
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Bad Weld
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Bambi
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Baxter Black So Lucky To be An American
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Bending Trial
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Bobcat
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave sent his wife a message that he'd be home a day earlier than
planned. Arriving at the house, he discovered his wife in bed with
another man. Bitterly, Dave kicked them out of the house, and
started
to plan a course of action. His thoughts were interrupted by a call
from his soon to be ex-mother- in- law. She believed that there was
no
doubt a good explanation for her daughter's behavior. Dave told her
to
buzz off. The next day his mother-in-law called again. "Didn't I
tell
you?" she said. "Didn't I tell you there was an explanation? I just
got through talking to your wife. She never got your e-mail! It's
all
YOUR fault!"
A man who goes to bed with diarrhea wakes up in deep shit.
One day a man and his wife were watching their son playing with Army
soldiers, when they heard him say, "Look, daddy, the green soldiers
just blew the hell out of the tan soldiers." Shocked, the wife tells
the boy to go to his room, and think about what he just said. A few
minutes later the husband says to his wife, "How about me and you
play
soldiers and you can blow the hell out of me?"
Become an amateur gynecologist. Look up a friend today.
I was talking to a friend of mine, and he told me that he's been
married a little over four years and was celebrating his 'Wooden'
anniversary. I asked what a 'wooden' anniversary was. He said, "I
asked her to give me a blow job and she wooden.
What's all the fuss about same-sex marriages? I've been married for
years, and I keep having the same sex.
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How
long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion,
she
answered...' Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was
alive.'
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
blind les
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blind my ass
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blind nurses
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blind painter
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blind man 2
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blow job matic
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
Each one had a quarter.
Jill came down with fifty cents,
Do you think they went for water?
Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of hanky panky,
Jill came back with a very sore crack,
Jack must have been a Yankee!
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
For just an itty bitty.
Jill is now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they've got a daughter.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a little keg of brandy.
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed,
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the White House there roams a liberal named Bill
Whose election wrought repubicans ill will
But when Bill made a mess
On the intern's new dress
Republicans sought impeachment with zeal
The word spread like fire through our land
of an affair that got perversly out of hand
While Hillary was playing dumb
Her husband was getting gummed
In the halls of our great high command
Now while Bill did his job without care
The nation went ga ga over the Capitol pair
And it wasn't till later
After he lied we found he did cater
To the temptations of the girl with big hair
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a
party After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy.He started working
at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied
Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the
corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He
became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line
Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride
and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight
school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that
he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the
best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave
away
something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his
birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth
returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the
congratulations for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for
the successes of our sons. ....What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as
a stripper at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love
him.
And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago,
and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new
jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Order now and we'll give you a second one at no charge.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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