THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
War does not determine who is right,
only who is remaining.
GOOD MORNNING POSTMAN FANS!
The war department and me have been
scouting for turkeys now for about the
last 4 weeks on our weekly grocery trips.
Naturally, Turkey day approaches and she
wants to get the right one. For me, I would
just as soon go to the deli at Meijer and
pick up a little deli turkey. No big mess,
no hassles cooking, and no left over. Or
better yet, go out for lunch on thanksgiving
like to Denny's or something, and then
you don't have any bother at all. Works for me.
I'm not a big fan of turkey anyway. But of course,
that's not good enough for her!! Anyways, to
make a long story short, she finally found a
turkey that was satisfactory last Friday. Not
sure what was different about this one. To me
they are all the same. I dunno, I'm just happy
now we don't hafta spend extra time at the meat
department while she hunts. You know that gives
me one thought here. If the Indians had given
the pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we would
all be getting a piece of ass for Thanksgiving!!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
gravity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z040.html
determination
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z041.html
the dude is confused
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z042.html
another o shit moment
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z043.html
shake spear
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z044.html
a new suit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z045.html
honesty counts for nothing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z046.html
don't panic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z047.html
too much make up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z048.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
its kindof special
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8324.html
that was close!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8325.html
hit on a tank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8326.html
the lion hunter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8327.html
this collection...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8328.html
rare vase
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8329.html
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible
shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were
washed up with him. After looking around, he realized
that they were stranded on a deserted island. After
being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking
his two animal companions to the beach every evening
to watch the sunset. One particular evening,
the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds,
the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for
romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking
better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned
over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the
sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled
fiercely until the man took his arm from around the
sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy
the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there
was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Ann
Coulter. That evening, the man brought Anne to the
evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening
-red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze
- perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man
started to get 'those feelings' again. He fought
the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave
in and leaned over to Anne and told her he hadn't
had sex for months. Anne batted her eyelashes and
asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He looked at her, and looked at the sheep, "Would you
mind taking the dog for a walk?"
__________________
TOP 10 SIGNS YOU HIRED THE WRONG KID TO MOW YOUR LAWN
10. He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag
9. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of 13 cats
8. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher
7. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head
6. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher
5. He's fascinated by the details of you home security system
4. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings
3. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus
2. Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks
1. No toes
__________________
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing
about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for
help.A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is
drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give
you a hundred dollars."The fisherman dove into the water.
In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his
arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her
at the feet of the man, the fisherman said,"Okay, where's
my hundred dollars?"The man said, "Look, when I saw her
going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife.
But this is my mother-in-law."The fisherman reached into
his pocket and said, "Just my luck.How much do I owe you?"
_____________
Already the Mother of two rambunctious boys, the husband was
thrilled when the doctor announced they were going to have twins
this time. He told his wife that she should start thinking of names.
"Well, let's see." she said. "We already have Adolph and Rudolph.
How about Getoff and Stayoff?"
____________
The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and
hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique
hotel in the hills.The driver wasn't too sure how to get
there, so told the couple he would ask directions when
they got closer to their destination.Meanwhile, the lovers
couldn't wait to get busy, so they got down to business in
the back seat.During the couple's moment of passion, the cab
driver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next
turn, right?""No way, get your own," said the groom,
"this one's all mine!"
______________
In a crowded airliner a five-year-old boy is throwing a
wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed
mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to
scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man slowly
walks forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother
with an upraised hand, the man leans down and whispers something
into the boy's ear.Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes
his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.
All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the man slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of
the stewardesses takes him by the sleeve.
"Excuse me" she says quietly, "but what magic words did you
use on that little boy?" The old man smiles serenely and
gently says, "I told him if he didn't cut that shit out,
I'd kick his fucking ass to the moon."
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Blonde Arm Wrestling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012808.htm
Blonde That Started It All
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012809.htm
Boy And His Train
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012810.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Dangerous Bulls #2
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000413.html
Dangerous Bulls #3
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000414.html
Dangerous Bulls #4
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000415.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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