THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
We went out and about last night to do our
normal payday stuff. You know, ...a trip to Meijer
and the other grocery stores to get the
necessaries. Never understood why it requires
two or more stops to accomplish. but I do know
that it is important to accompany her...on
such expeditions. Otherwise the consequences are
not good: I would be fed nothing but rabbit food,
such as lettuce and carrots. Steaks would be as
rare as hens teeth. Anyways, on this particular trip,
"the war department" put a dozen eggs in the cart
that came in a container that was different than
the normal. I was informed, "These are cage free
eggs." Cage free? Growing up on the farm, cage
free meant someone left the chicken house door open
and the last thing on earth my brother and I wanted
to do was chase chickens. I am now told however, that
cage free eggs are superior to regular eggs. Altho
the reason why has not clearly been explained. I do
know they certainly taste the same as ordinary eggs,
smell the same as ordinary eggs, and cost about 50
cents a dozen more compared to ordinary eggs. Do you
suppose that must be cuz the farmer lets them into
the flower beds and he has to make enough money to
replace the flowers they ate? Anyways its a cagey
subject that I have yet to understand. Lets have some
jokes, you don't have to have those in a cage.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
I wonder if this guy is takin on new patients ???
I love this Doctor
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise
can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it...
Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually..
Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you
can extend life of car by driving faster.
Want live longer? Take nap.
______________
THE COMICS
after Thanksgiving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b060.html
saving water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b061.html
well, have you?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b062.html
stranded on the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b063.html
today's paper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b064.html
question
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b065.html
hello?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b066.html
quit smokin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b067.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
somewhere in Warzistan...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8459.html
wooden spoons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8460.html
news at eleven
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8461.html
what hurricane?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8462.html
playing with fire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8463.html
bowling, a contact sport
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8464.html
havin a milk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8465.html
A man went to have a tooth pulled, and the dentist
said, "I will need to give you an anesthetic."
The man said, "No, I don't need anything. Just pull the tooth."
The dentist said, "You won't be able to withstand the pain!"
The man said, "I have been through excruciating pain
twice in my life. Just pull the tooth."
The dentist pulled the tooth, and the man didn't even
flinch. The dentist said, "If pain experience left you
with that pain tolerance, I would like to know about it."
The man said, "I went on a hunting trip with three
other men, and we stayed in a cabin. We hunted Monday,
Tuesday, and Wednesday, and when Thursday came, all were
tired but me...so I went out by myself. When I got about
four miles from the cabin, on snow-covered ground, I
realized I had to 'do my business.' Knowing I couldn't
make it back to the cabin, I decided to go right there.
I tucked behind a tree and dropped my pants and squatted
down to go. I didn't see the trap under the snow cover,
and when I squatted, my privates dropped in the trap and
tripped it, and it slammed shut on them."
The dentist said, "Wow! If that was the first time,
when was the second experience?"
The man replied, "When I ran out of chain on the trap."
___________
A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish.
By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat,
the waiter comes back and says, "Sir, I'm afraid there
has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is
sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours
and he usually orders the same dish. The problem is this
is the last chicken in the house. I'm afraid I'll have
to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish
for you!" The guy gets really upset and refuses to give
up his food. The waiter walks over to the other table
and explains the situation to the officer. A few minutes
later the officer walks over to the man's table and says,
"Listen and listen good. That is MY chicken you are about
to eat and I'll warn you, whatever you do to that chicken
I'll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs,
I'll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings,
I'll break one of your arms!" The man calmly looks at the
chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird's rectum,
pulls it out and licks it. He then gets up, drops his pants,
bends over and says, "Go ahead!"
_____________
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space
I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
____________
A guy comes home from work early and finds his wife
laying naked in bed. "What are you doing in bed this
time of the day?" he asks.She replies, "I ate some Mexican
and now I have a stomach ache so I thought I would lay
down for a while.""Hey, where in the hell did this cigar
come from," he shouts.From under the bed a voice says,
"Havana, Senor!"
__________
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a
place." -- Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women
are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
-- Robert DE Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting
that many men are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's
the problem?" -- Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines,
because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me
somebody naked." -- Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a
woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a
penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
-- Robin Williams
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Spitz Hound
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81819.htm
Sex with the witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81820.htm
Stay off the pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81821.htm
__________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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