THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Most of the things worth doing in the world had
been declared impossible before they were done."
~Louis D. Brandeis
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Facing a 28 million dollar budget short fall
this year, the city manager of our fair
city layed off 45 police officers and 25
firefighters. This has created something
of a heated debate among home owners. While
certainly, no one wants emergency services cut,
the city is at least excersizing some fiscal
responsibility. More so than the state of Michigan
in which we live.
The state's answer to budget problems is simply
to raise taxes and keep on spending. However, I
am not sure how loudly I want to applaude our
city manager. With a salary base of 145 thousand
dollars a year, and a car allotment of 8 thousand
dollars a year, he was asked if he would be willing
to make some salary cuts in order to help in the budget.
He stated that he was already at the bottom of his
pay scale for comparable jobs and his car was an
essential part and requirement for employment.
Harrumphh!!!
I could do quite nicely with 75 thousand a year.
I'd be willing to buy my own car if I could trade
this little SSI check I get for 75k. Go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
traffic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z09.html
I'm worried
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z091.html
Rodney Dangerfield says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z092.html
did you hear?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z093.html
make yourself comfortable
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z094.html
your bidding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z095.html
talking dirty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z096.html
show me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z097.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
good to be alive
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8368.html
wolf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8369.html
worth a sin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8370.html
crazy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8371.html
Jim Carrey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8372.html
48 condoms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8373.html
Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer' ?" asked one
drunk to his friend at the next barstool.
"Well, I'd have to say that it's a bag that tells
you when you've drunk way too much," answered the
equally wasted gent."Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been
married to one of those for years!"
___________
The farmer's son was returning from the market with
the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to
him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open.
Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the
determined boy walked all over the neighborhood
scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to
the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all,
the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly,
"but I managed to find all twelve of them."
"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed.
"You left with seven."
_________________
A guy who worked with my brother was transferred to
the city where I live. My brother called me and said
this guy had cerebral palsy and would need to hire
some people to help him unload his van and trailer
when he got there. My brother asked if I had any ideas
of where his co-worker might find some day workers
to help.The Salvation Army had just had an article in
the daily paper about a new program they had to get
people down-and-out on their luck some day jobs. I
told that to my brother and he said he`d tell the
guy who was transferring.Later that day my brother
called back to say he happened to hear his co-worker,
who was using a speaker phone, call the Salvation Army
in my city. He had dialed the number I provided.
Someone answered his call and said, "Salvation Army."
"What do you do?" asked the man.
"We save wicked men and women," came the reply.
He said, "Well, save me a wicked woman for Saturday
night and please send a couple of wickedly strong guys
to help me move-in to my new apartment on Friday."
________________
Following a really good party one night, the hosts
decided to leave he assorted bottles and dregs
until the next morning. As they staggered downstairs
next day, they found their young children finishing
off all that they could find, and looking the worse
for wear.Not knowing what to do, the father suggested
taking them out in the car for some fresh air. A traffic
policeman, seeing the car going round and round the
block for no reason, pulled him over and breathalyzed
him ... and the meter showed positive.
While matters were being sorted out, one of the children
asked the policeman if he could try the breathalyzer
... and the meter again showed positive!
"Darn," said the policeman, "another faulty meter!"
He then apologized to the driver for stopping him,
and drove off without another word...
________________
An American tourist in France found himself needing to take a
leak something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't
find anyplace to relieve himself. So he just went down one of the
side streets to take care of business.
Before he could even get unzipped a French police office asked,
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"I gotta piss, man."
"You can't piss here. Look, follow me."
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of
grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges.
"Here," said the cop, whiz away."
The American shrugs, turns, unzips, and starts right on the
flowers.
"Ahhh. Whew. Thanks. This is very nice of you. Is this French
courtesy?"
"No. This is the American Embassy."
_________________
There was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row. The
warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head."
Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me."
Snap! he was dead.
Then the Redneck said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."
They gave him the shot, and the redneck fell down laughing.
The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with
this guy.
Then the Redneck said, "Give me another one of those shots," so
the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from
his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally the warden said, "What's wrong with you?"
The Redneck replied,
"You guys are so stupid..... I'm wearing a condom."
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
High Blood Pressure
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dgsjhagj.htm
How Far Will A Condom Stretch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/shjasj.htm
How A Blonde Pole Dances
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsa.htm
_____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Governor of Poker
http://tinyurl.com/aubzcy
Randy Moss Busted
http://tinyurl.com/mucz5q
Cheney Explains Shooting Error
http://tinyurl.com/65kob5
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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