THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!!
"Education is what survives when what
has been learned has been forgotten."
~B. F. Skinner
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I have it all figured out. While congress and the
president hagel over health care reform, I, the
postman, have the perfect solution for health care.
Senior Health Care Solution:
So you're a senior citizen and the government says no
health care for you, what do you do?
My plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and
4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 senators
and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means
you will be sent to prison. There you will get 3
meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the
health care you need! New teeth, no problem.
Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs,
heart? All covered. And who will be paying for
all of this? The same government that just told
you that you are too old for health care. Plus,
because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay
any income taxes anymore.!!!
AM I A GENIUS OR WHAT?!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!
THE COMICS
procrastinators
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z060.html
the lonely old bachelor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z061.html
urinalysis
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z062.html
a rabbit act
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z063.html
too much
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z064.html
a seat on the bus
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z065.html
welcome to Iowa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z066.html
my friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z067.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
make mine freedom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8337.html
100 years later
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8338.html
bike tumble
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8339.html
what a birdie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8340.html
A Pittance of Time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8341.html
extreme sports
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8342.html
scared of heights?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8343.html
_________________
When I was 17, my mother remarried and moved to Tulsa
Oklahoma, leaving me alone to finish my senior year of
high school in the little town where we lived (She was
only about an hour away and I was very responsible for
my age). My girlfriend had decided to stay the night
one Saturday, on Sunday morning we woke up and started
to have sex. We got very involved and she started screaming
very loudly, then we heard the toilet flush in the next
room - my mother had come home for a Sunday lunch! When
we finally got the courage to come out of the bedroom, my
mother was sitting at the dining room table and asked "Did
your father have the whole sex talk with you before we
got divorced?" He hadn't, but as most kids did at that
time we learned in school, I said "No mom, he did not."
to which she replied, "I didn't think so, we were married
for 28 years and he never made me scream like that!!"
_______________
A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary
and after some deliberation decide on their local Chinese
restaurant. They peruse the menu and finally agree to share
the chef's special, "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings
over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as
the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the
pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little
eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He
hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it
and again the lid rises, and he sees two beady little eyes
looking around again before it firmly slams back down.
Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over, explains what
is happening and demands an explanation. "Well sir," says
the waiter, "what did you order?" "We both chose the same,"
he replies, "the Chicken Surprise."
"Oh I do apologize, this is my fault," says the waiter...
"I've brought you the Peking Duck."
_____________
Marvin was in his usual place in the morning sitting at
the table, reading the paper after breakfast.
He came across an article about a beautiful actress that
was about to marry a football player who was known primarily
for his lack of IQ and common sense. He turned to his wife
with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand
why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!".
________________
In 1923, Who Was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?
These men were considered some of the worlds most
successful of their days.. Now, 80 years later,
the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately
became of them..
The Answers:
1.. The president of the largest steel company.
Charles Schwab,
died a pauper.
2. The president of the largest gas company,
Edward Hopson,
went insane.
3. The president of the NYSE,
Richard Whitney,
was released from prison
to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator,
Arthur Cooger,
died abroad, penniless.
5. The president of
the Bank of International Settlement,
shot himself.
6 The Great Bear of Wall Street,
Cosabee Livermore,
also committed suicide
However,
in that Sam e year, 1923, the PGA Champion
and the winner of the most important golf tournament,
the US Open, was Gene Sarazen.
What became of him?
He played golf until he was 92,
died in 1999 at the age of 95.
He was financially secure
at the time of his death.
The Moral:
Forget work.
Play golf.
_______________
Two blonde girls from Essex walk into a department
store. They walk up to the perfume counter and
pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her
wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice, don'tcha
fink, Susan."
"Yeah. Wot's it called Sharon?"
"Viens a moi."
"Viens a moi? Wot's that mean?"
At this stage the store clerk offers some help.
"Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'"
Sharon takes another sniff and offers her arm to Susan again
saying, "That don't smell like come to me.
Does that smell like come to you?"
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Nice One
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uiy.htm
Night Before Christmas
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uyt.htm
Not His Day
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uyft.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
The End Of The Internet
http://tinyurl.com/yhqfalu
The Funniest Cat Video Ever
http://tinyurl.com/yfrlwtn
Are You Nearsighted?
http://tinyurl.com/nyf7zp
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Deadly Animals
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000425.html
Deadly Handsome Men
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000426.html
Death Is Having A Pint
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000427.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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