THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Laughter is to life what shock
absorbers are to automobiles.
It won't take the potholes out of
the road, but it sure makes the
ride smoother.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
This is it. Today is the big day! If you are
a deer hunter, you are probably sitting right
now out in the middle of the woods, sipping a
hot cup of something or other to ward off the
chill, and waiting for your first sighting of a
nice rack. Its opening day of deer season here
in our fair state of Michigan. In better times,
yesterday, you would have seen the roads leading
to the north country jammed with pickup trucks,
Rvs and other recreational vehicles, filled with
men and boys, headed for their favorite spot so
they would be ready to go for sunrise today.
However, a chronic wasting disease virtually
decimated the herd a few years back. That,
coupled with hard times, has made the sport some
what less celebrated than in times past. It will
be a bit of a challenge getting that prize rack
this year. 80% of the corn crop is still in the
ground around these parts, due to wet weather. The
corn crop harvest has been slower than usual. The deer
have more places to hide. And Bambi, to you my
friend, I say, "run baby run!"
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
what a rotten cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a001.html
whoops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a002.html
peanuts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a003.html
told you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a004.html
bless you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a005.html
complaints
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a006.html
damn it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a007.html
the end is near
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a008.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Santa went crazy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8374.html
largets model railway
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8375.html
baby or parrot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8376.html
going on safari
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8377.html
accidents at the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8378.html
sexy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8379.html
One day this old man was about to have sex with
an eighteen-year-old girl, who he did not know. The
old man began to put on his condom when the young
girl asked him why is he putting one on.
She said "you don't have to worry about getting me
pregnant because you are too old and you don't have
to worry about catching anything because you are
going to die pretty soon anyway". The old man
continued to put on his condom he then looked up
at the girl and said, "young girl the reason I am
putting on this condom isn't because I am afraid of
getting you pregnant or catching anything. I just like
the scent of burning rubber."
_______________
A curious little boy asks his mom what his younger
sister has between the legs; the young mother does
not know how to explain to the boy, so she says:
"It's like the Garage..."
The boy then asks: "What is mine called?"
"It's called the Car..." the mother replies.
A few days later, the phone rings while the parents
are "busy" in the bedroom; the little boy answers it.
It's his dad's friend: "Is your father home?
Could I speak to him?"
"Yes, but he's busy", the boy replies. "What's he
doing? I wanna talk to him..." "Wait, let me check..."
The boy looks through the bedroom keyhole; then comes
back and says: "He's putting the Car in the Garage
"Ok, I'll call back..." A short while later, the man
calls back: "Can I talk to your dad now?" "He's still busy..."
"What? What's he doing? How long does it take him to
put the car in the garage anyway?"
"Wait, let me check..." The boy, again, looks through
the bedroom keyhole, comes back and has this to tell his
dad's friend: "He's still trying to put the Car in the
Garage; he keeps moving the Car back and forth. He
seems to have problem putting the rear wheels of the
Car into the Garage..."
________________
Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when
they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement:
"It makes you feel young again." John looks at Sylvester
and says, "We need to pull over and get a bottle of that
stuff!" Sylvester agrees and the two old men pull over
and get a bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons
each and continue to drive. About one mile later Sylvester
asks, "Well John, do you feel young yet?"
"No," replies John.
So they pull over and take four more tablespoons a piece
and continue to drive down the road.
A couple of miles later, Sylvester asks,
"John, do you feel younger?"
"No," replies John, "but I sure did a childish thing!"
_________________
Paddy was thinking of buying a coffee maker but was concerned it
might be too complicated to operate. The salesman assured him it
was easy to use.
"You simply put in the coffee and filter, fill the reservoir with
water, slide the switch to auto and go to bed. When you wake up
you can enjoy a steaming hot cup of coffee"
A few weeks later Paddy ran into his friend O'Riley.
"Paddy me boy, how are you enjoying your new coffee maker?"
"I had to take the stupid thing back" said Paddy, "every time I
fancied a cup of coffee I had to go to bed"
_____________
A guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar.
"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
he said to her. "I don't know," replied the beautiful
young woman. "It depends how personal it is."
"OK," the guy said. "How many men have you slept with?"
"I'm not going to tell you that!" the woman exclaimed.
"That's my business!"
"Sorry," said the guy, "I didn't realize you made a
living out of it."
________________
While leading a tour of kindergarten students through
our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one
little girl and an x-ray technician.
"Have you ever broken a bone?" he asked.
"Yes," the girl replied.
"Did it hurt?"
"No."
"Really? Which bone did you break?"
"My sister's arm."
_________
BUFFALO BILL
Football
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hfkhfdj.htm
Football Season
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jakhfj.htm
Fruit Cake
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hdskjhsa.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Dentist
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000434.html
Dentyne Frost Bites
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000435.html
Developers
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000436.html
____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Warlords Fighting Game
http://tinyurl.com/cd8ulm
Easy Meal in Africa
http://tinyurl.com/8grael
Nick Nolte Busted
http://tinyurl.com/n49dfy
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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