THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Not one shred of evidence supports
the notion that life is serious.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
We've all heard the main stream media
talking about those party crashers who
snuck into the White house the other night,
right? The secret service and the FBI are getting
crucified in the press for "dropping the ball." But
nobody really knows what went on or what the truth
of the whole thing was really about. However,
We have the real truth of it...right here in
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! :
THE PARTY CRASHERS
(what really came down that night)
What The President said: "It was so nice of you to come."
What The President thot: I don't know who you are,
but I'd love a half hour with you in the Lincoln bedroom
What The lady said: "Mr. President, it's so nice to meet you."
What The lady thot: I crashed a White house party for this?
What the dude said: ------- (Nothing).
What the dude thot: I wish he would quit staring at her tits
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
THE COMICS
go run
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b050.html
the feud
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b051.html
not my clit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b052.html
tough love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b053.html
uh oh
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b054.html
a good surgeon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b055.html
hey honey?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b056.html
spam
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b057.html
know what this is?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b058.html
life guard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b059.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
is somebody there?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8454.html
I don't think that bird likes you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8455.html
Energizer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8456.html
woops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8457.html
Swere swan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8458.html
A guy goes into a bar and settles down to have a beer.
He's looking around when he sees a piano sitting in the
corner. "A piano!" he exclaims. "Hey, bartender, can I
play it?" "No, man. That doesn't belong to the bar. It's
the piano player's. He doesn't like anyone touching it."
But the gentleman persists, promising he won't hurt it,
that he's a piano player, and knows how to treat a piano.
He persists for an hour, and finally the bartender gets
sick of it an gives in. "OK, you can play one song. ONE
song! If the piano player catches you, I'll be the one
in trouble." The man promises one song, and goes to the
piano and begins playing. As the bartender listens, he is
captivated by the tune. It only lasts a few minutes, and
the gentleman closes up the piano and returns to the bar.
"Man," the bartender exclaims. "That's a beautiful tune!
I don't remember ever hearing it before."
"No, I wrote that tune."
"You wrote it?? My God, why don't you get it published.
It's beautiful!" "I've tried, but no one will publish it."
"You are kidding?? They won't publish a beautiful tune like THAT?"
"Yeah, well, they liked the tune, they didn't like the name."
"Well, what did you call it?"
"I Love You So Fuckin' Much I Could Shit."
____________
The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an
eloquent plea for her client. "Ladies and gentlemen of
the jury, I want to tell you about this man. There's so
much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was
always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest
thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule;
he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest.
Everyone loves him and..."Her client leaned over to the
attorney's assistant and said, "How do you like that babe?
I pay her good dough to defend me, and she's telling the
jury about some other guy!"
__________
Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty
people from Detroit showed up."Never having seen anyone
from Detroit at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would
have to check with God."After hearing the news, God
instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people
from the group.A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned
to God breathless and said, "They're gone!"
"What? All of the Detroiter's are gone?" asked God.
"No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!!"
________________
Leroy, a local football star, is jogging down the
street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is
standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in
her arms."Hey, lady," yells Leroy, "Throw me the cat."
"No," she cries, "It's too far."
"I play football, I can catch him."
The smoke is pouring from the windows. Finally, the
woman waves to Leroy, kisses her cat goodbye, and
tosses it down to the street. Leroy keeps his eye on
the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The
feline bounces off an awning and Leroy runs into the
street to catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and
makes a spectacular one handed catch. The crowd that
has gathered to watch the fire breaks into cheers.
Leroy does a little dance, lifts the cat above his
head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then spikes
the cat into the pavement.
___________
Husband shopping
1st floor, Sign says husbands with jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor,
where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs
and Love Kids. 'That's nice,'
she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are
Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she
thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are
Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With
Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims,
'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign
reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids,
are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with
Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the
sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are
visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There
are no men on this floor. This floor exists
solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
___________
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench complaining
about their husbands. "My husband's losing his mind,"
one lady said. "Last week he went out and spent
$400 for a waterbed." "That sounds exciting," the
other lady said. "Exciting, hell," the
first old lady said. "The way my husband's thing
has been reacting the last few years, that waterbed
might as well be the Dead Sea."
_________________
BUFFALO BILL
Vampire Community
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31807.htm
One Way To Look At Things
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31808.htm
Dead Wood
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31809.htm
_______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
The Devil In The Kid
http://tinyurl.com/nfwg7a
Boxhead Zombie Wars
http://tinyurl.com/d5xh43
Mr. Bean
http://tinyurl.com/co9e6p
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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