THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"You can't step twice into the same river."
Heraclitus
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, Oprah Winfrey calls it quits, after over 20
years. Oprah is one of the longest running daytime talk shows
in the history of America, and the richest African
American ever to walk the face of the earth. At one
time, Oprah was the world's only black billionaire.
In 1983, Oprah took over to host WLS-TV. which at that time
was the lowest ranking morning talk show on the charts.
Within months she surpassed Phil Donahue in popularity,
an achievement of remarkable proportions.
I personally have not a big fan of the gracious lady,
but one can never overlook her achievements. Perhaps
the most influential and certainly the most widely
succesful philantrhopist in history, Oprah's announcement
to quit her show last week shocked her fans the world
over. But while Oprah's show will end its production,
22 months worth of the ratings smashing success have
been pre-recorded for future use. So she will be around
for a while. Oprah is a great woman, she knows to quit
while she is on top. And we are not finished with her
yet. Altho her show will not follow her to her new tv channel,
I'm sure she will continue to impress her fans
with her new endeavors. God bless you Oprah, and your
future efforts.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
a biiiiiiiggggggggggg party
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b000.html
internet explorer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b001.html
did you know?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b002.html
at risk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b003.html
sex shop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b004.html
condoms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b005.html
back in the day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b006.html
drumstick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b007.html
I don't care
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b008.html
spread the wealth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b009.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the muppets
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8422.html
SHAKE WEIGHT
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8423.html
Johnny Carson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8424.html
why you should have sex before marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8425.html
the rocket man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8421.html
Blazing saddles-Farting cowboys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8426.html
A young man was planning to get married and asked his
doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin
The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A
can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..'
The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do
with these?'The doctor replied, 'Before the wedding
night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball
blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls
I ever saw', you hit her over the head with the shovel.'
___________
Bobby Ray and Susie Jane were fooling around out
in the cornfield when Bobby Ray said, "Oh Susie Jane,
I am getting so horny, you just have to let me have
some." Susie Jane said, "Well, maybe I will, but
it is going to cost you a quarter." Bobby Ray dug
down in his pocket and said, "Susie Jane, I only got
ten cents, and you just have to let me do it for
ten cents." Susie Jane said, "Ain't no way I am
goin to do it for no ten cents, I said a quarter."
Bobby Ray said, "I tell you what Susie Jane, how
about you just give me ten cents worth?" Susie Jane
said, "You must think I be crazy, cause you
know you won't stop when I say you got ten cents
worth. Bobby Ray said, "Oh Susie Jane, I promise,
I promise I will stop when you say I got ten cents
worth." So they get down between two rows of corn
and start going at it. After about a minute,
Susie Jane said,"Bobby Ray, BOBBY RAY" and he said,
"Oh Susie Jane, now don't tell me I have got ten
cents worth already", and she said, "Bobby Ray,
do you see that big cornstalk over there on your
left side? And Bobby Ray said, "Uhuh." And she said,
"Bobby Ray, do you see that big cornstalk over
there on your right side?" Bobby Ray said, "Uhuh."
Susie May said, "BOBBY RAY, you better grab ahold
of those two big cornstalks, cause I'm a fixin to
loan you fifteen cents".
____________
A salesman was traveling through the country side,
selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse
and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug
spray is so good you will never be bitten again.
I guarantee it." The farmer was dubious. "Young man,
I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my
pasture buck naked, covered with that bug spray.
If there is not a single bite on you come morning,
I'll buy a whole case from you. And get everyone in
the county to buy a case......we will make you rich.
The salesman was delighted. They went to the field
and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly
with the bug spray and tied him to a tree. Back to
the house went the farmer. The next morning, the
farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield.
Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his
bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total
wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one
bite on him. The farmer was perplexed. "Son," he said,
"Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like
hell! What the devil happened?" The salesman looked
up through bloodshot eyes and croaked,
"Doesn't that calf have a mother? *-*-.
________________
A Texan and his wife were on a trip to New York.
She had just finished showering to dress for dinner
and noticed that she had neglected to pack her bras.
She asked her husband to go down to the dress shop
in the lobby and pick up a couple of 36-C bras.
He said, "Ah'l go down raht now." So he put on his
ten gallon hat and went to the shop.The sales lady said,
"May I help you sir?" When he told her that he wanted
two 36-C bras, she asked, "Would you like two Playtex?"
He answered, "Ah'd luv ta little lady, but mah wife's
a'waitin fur me up in the room."
_______________
A blonde at the grocery store:
- I would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4 onions
- I can help you with the tomatoes and the potatoes,
but not with the onions...
- Ok... than I'll have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2 onions
- I see you don't understand me: I have tomatoes,
I have potatoes, but I have no onions
- I see... than I'll have a tomato, a potato and an onion
- Ok, let's do this the other way around. If you
take the "mato" out of the "tomato", what do you have?
- Aaaa... "to"?
- Right, and if you take the "tato" out of the "potato",
what do you have?
- Aaaa... "po"?
- Excellent, and if you take the "fuck" out of the
"onion", what do you have?
- Aaaa... aaa... but there is no "fuck" in "onion"
- Exactly, there is no fuckin' onion!
_____________
Garbage collectors were picking up our trash as my wife walked back into
our house. A particular barrel was very heavy. "Lady, we can't take
this," one man called out. "It's way over the weight limit."
My wife turned her eight-month-pregnant figure toward him. "It didn't
seem that heavy when I carried it out," she said.
Without another word, the man emptied the barrel into the truck.
_________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Dog
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000458.html
Dog And Deer
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000459.html
Dog Drinking
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000460.html
________________
BUFFALO BILL
Bad Luck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fasd.htm
Boogie Woogie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsdjlk.htm
Ford Police Chase
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfds.htm
_____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Thing Thing Arena 3
http://tinyurl.com/d6t7ly
Dancing Yoda
http://tinyurl.com/c3cbkr
Madagascar Penguins
http://tinyurl.com/47lhqk
THAT"S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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