Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It is amazing just how much more human you feel after a good
hot shower. I don't see how my ancestors who were trappers
and loggers made it through a winter without a shower or even
removing their clothes from this time of the year till when the
lakes
warmed up in spring.
I was amazed that Christina Applegate turned 38 the other day.
Seems like she was just in high school the other day, but then they
will still be showing Married with Children reruns when she is
drawing
Social Security.
Buffy has been using my network for her role-playing game and
she is using Skype and another VOIP called Ventillo at the same time
and it was dogging my DSL so ATT gave me 6 meg service for
only 5.00 a month more. I can now download my spam as fast as
people send it to me heh heh
One other observation that I have been wondering about. Up until
last spring they used to test the Emergency Broadcast System
once a month. Then all of a sudden they started to test it every two
weeks and the other day it dropped back to once a month. Makes
you wonder what was going on last summer that required extra
monitoring to make sure the system was working?
Enjoy the chips....buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apple Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother and daughter loved to play around. They partied everyday
and
always ended up fucking everybody around. Their holes were played
until
they became seasoned and loose. One day, the daughter met the man
of her dreams and decided to get married. Now, the man did not know
about their flicks and thought the daughter was still a virgin. So
he
decided to leave any lovemaking until their wedding night. The
daughter
began to worry about the condition of her hole and consulted her
mother,
Mom, I'm worried, what will Peter do if he finds out about my
hole?!!
Mother said, Don't worry dear, I will teach you a way to fool your
husband-to-be. Here's what you do, place an apple in your hole and
it
will be tight and he won't even notice it. So the daughter did what
her
mother taught her and everything went well and the stupid husband
didn't
even notice. This went on for a few months. Now, everytime the
daughter
wanted to bathe, she would take out the apple and place it on the
wash
basin and after bathing, she would put it back in her hole. One day,
after bathing, she forgot to put it back and left it on the wash
basin.
The husband came into the washroom and saw the apple and thought
that
her wife left the apple for him and he ate it, Honey, thanks for the
apple. It tasted great! Shocked, the daughter dare not tell her
husband
about it and went to consult her mother, Mom, I'm in deep shit now!
I
took out the apple while I was bathing and I forgot to put it back
and
Peter found the apple I left on the wash basin and ate it! What
should I
do? Will he be poisoned? I'm scared, Mother said, Don't worry dear,
a
few years ago, your father ate the WATERMELON I left in the washroom
and
he lived!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
ears nose and throat
http://www.thepostm
leaving your boyfriend
http://www.thepostm
can you spot Nancy Pelosi?
http://www.thepostm
Ex
http://www.sydesjok
Executive Training Academy
http://www.sydesjok
Exercise Machine For Dogs
http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
So ya see, little Johnny is sitting in class one day, and the
teacher is going to go over agricultural stuff, like farms, and what
not. So she asks the class how does a farmer tell the weather on his
farm, nobody seems to know, cept of course, little Johnny, who's
frantically waving his hand with the answer, so she decides to let
him try to answer the question. So little Johnny says: the farmer
uses a weather vane to tell the weather!" ok, that wasn't so bad, so
the teacher then asks the class what kind of animal is the weather
vane? again no one but little Johnny seems to know the answer.
Reluctantly she lets him answer. Little Johnny sez with a big ol
smile on his face: "why teacher, it's a cock!", well the teacher
sighs to herself well after all it is. So next the teacher asks the
class: " can anyone tell me why does the farmer use a cock on the
barn as a weather vane?" Of course, the same dumb blank look on all
of the kids faces, cept of course, for little Johnny, again she
reluctantly allows him to answer the question, knowing she's
probably not gonna like the way he phrases it. Little Johnny stands
up in front of the whole class and sez with a really big grin on his
face: "Its a cock, cuz as everyone knows if it were a cunt, the
fuckin wind would just blew right thru it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A pair of stage-door Johnnies are ogling the cuties who are leaving
the
dressing room. "Do you see that redhead over there? I feel like
screwing
her again."
"Wow," said his buddy, "Do you mean to tell me you've been doing it
with
that great looking broad?"
"No, I felt like it before, and I feel like it now."
~~~~~~~
A man on a business trip went to a singles bar, approached two
ladies,
and offered either of them two hundred dollars to spend the night
with
him. One girl stormed out in a rage, but the other remained cool,
calm... and collected.
~~~~~~~
Little Johnny comes running into the backyard. He screams, "Pop!
Pop!
Ma
just got hit by a bus!"
His father answers, "Son, that's just plain mean shouting it out
like
that, you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marriage Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
-- Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-- Milton Berle
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- George Burns
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds.
-- Cindy Garner
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was
water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said,
"In the lake."
-- Henny Youngman
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-- Henny Youngman
People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured
at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success.
Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman.
Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
-- Erma Bombeck
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I
was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes,
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So now I have
two girlfriends.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to
report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they
are beautiful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy the desert is hot and dry today. As I was driving along I passed
this good
looking old gal walking alone side the road. I stopped and ask did
she have
problems. She said, "Yes, my old car broke down back up the road a
ways. I said,
" If I can get it fixed or take you some where to get it fixed
want's in it for
me." She said, Dust I've been walking over an hour."
~~~~~
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels
and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's
the matter--haven'
~~~~~
A bride who got a little too drunk at her wedding reception was
still determined
to say a few words of thanks to the guests for all their presents.
She stumbled
through a short speech and then slowly turned to point to the
presents on
display, which included a coffee percolator
"And finally" she said "I do thank my new parents-in-law for giving
me such a
beautiful perky copulator"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why are guys so good at video games?
A. It's the eye-hand coordination developed after all those years of
jerking off
to Playboy centerfolds.
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex
life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything <thanks
Jim>
Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in
line behind
me had the correct change.
Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!
Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinocchio look like a cat!
Why are blondes lousy at mustering cattle?
Because they can't keep their calves together. <Thanx Greg>
Heaven is when you have barrels of beer and tons of girls.
Hell is when you find out that the barrels have holes and
the girls don't!
Did you hear what the dyslexic Highway Patrolman did on New Year's?
He spent the
whole night handing out I.U.D.'s <Thanx Robert>
Woman serving dinner to husband:
"It's a hamburger surprise. You had it yesterday and the day before,
and you
certainly didn't expect to get it again tonight."
Q. Why do women get their belly buttons pierced?
A. Where else would they hang the air freshener.
One day, near Christmas, Amy was walking down the
street, singing to herself, "All I want for Christmas is a 10" dick,
a 10" dick,
a 10" dick". Buffalo, who was out shopping, upon hearing her song,
turns and
follows her, singing "Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa
Claus"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/I Remember
http://silverandgol
carolyn w/ Christmas In The Fifties ~ Jingle Bells ~ Ricky Nelson
Video http://carolynsprec
Childhood Christmas
http://www.carolspo
Directions Home
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Contortionist Daniel Browning Smith the Rubberboy Via WEsley
http://therubberboy
Snowman Construction Kit
http://snowmanconst
Christmas Trees & More
http://www.urbanext
MacGyver - How To Do It
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Fireplaces
http://www.simplysa
Free Interfaces
http://www.ravensda
Cut Copy and Paste Tutorial for Computers
http://www.virtualg
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.basset.
Kitty Korner
http://www.petplace
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Movie Links
Spitz Hound
http://www.buffalos
Sex with the witness
http://www.buffalos
Stay off the pole
http://www.buffalos
Store Clerk
http://www.buffalos
Strip Tease
http://www.buffalos
Love
http://www.buffalos
Hair Piece
http://www.buffalos
Hang Onto That Pole
http://www.buffalos
Happy New Year
http://www.buffalos
Hard Day
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gold Rush Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shopping List From 1849's California Gold Rush
The following are minimum amounts necessary for an eight day trip in
the
mountains:
8 lbs potatoes
1 bottle whiskey
1 bottle pepper sauce
1 bottle whiskey
1 box tea
9 lbs onions
2 bottles whiskey
1 ham
11 lbs crackers
1 bottle whiskey
3 dozen sardines
2 bottles brandy, (4th proof)
6 lbs sugar
1 bottle brandy, (4th proof)
7 lbs cheese
2 bottles brandy, (4th proof)
1 bottle pepper
5 gallons whiskey
4 bottles whiskey (old Bourbon)
1 small keg whiskey
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Holiday Season be a hit and steal the show with the Spinbot!
Battle friends and family and enjoy hours of fun!
See the video for yourself,
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grab
http://www.buffalos
Grand theft
http://www.buffalos
Hard Boiled
http://www.buffalos
Begging
http://www.buffalos
Not pretty
http://www.buffalos
Queer
http://www.buffalos
Dating Agency
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Get the Smoke Assist E-Cigarette at no charge with the purchase of
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View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady named Hilda
Who went on a date with a Builder
She knew that he could
And he should and he would
And he did, and it bloody nigh killed her!
~~~
There was a young lady named Gloria,
Who was goosed by Sir Oswald Du Maurier...
And then by six men,
Sir Oswald again,
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!
I Just Met A Girl From Peru,
Who Likes Off Beat Places To Screw.
We've Done It On Trains,
In Hammocks, On Planes,
And Next Week We'll Try A Canoe.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indoor Potty Pad
Prevent pet accidents in your home with Pet Zoom Pet Park. It's made
of a synthetic grass like surface that prevents stains and rinses
clean in seconds. Unlike dripping newspapers and expensive wee wee
pads, Pet Zoom Pet Park's reusable surface stays fresh and sanitary.
Use it for training puppies to special needs dogs to long days at
the office.
Protect your upholstery and flooring with Pet Zoom Pet Park.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beautiful young woman is getting dressed for work one morning
in her high-rise apartment building. She glances out her
fiftieth-story bedroom window and sees a window washer outside.
Thinking she will rattle him, she slowly takes off her dress.
The window washer just goes about the business of cleaning the
windows. Next, she removes her slip in a very provocative
manner. Still, the man just keeps working away. Taking her
striptease to the full extent, she takes off her bra and
panties and begins parading around her room. The window washer
still takes no notice of her.
Finally, the woman walks over to the window and just stands
there, totally naked, staring at the man outside her window.
At last the window washer puts down his pail and says, "What's
the matter, lady, haven't you ever seen a window washer before?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big Top Cupcake- Giant Cake Sized Cupcakes
Big Top Cupcake allows you to create colossal cupcakes 25x bigger
than regular cupcakes. Get bakery results without the high prices.
Just fill, bake and decorate.
Just $19.95 + P&H
Order Now
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sicilian Stress Test.......it works!
Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management
technique used traditionally in Sicily . The funny thing is that
it really does work.
1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs
out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both your
hands dangling in the cool running water. 3. Birds are sweetly
singing in the cool mountain air. 4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the
world. 6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air
with a cascade of serenity.. 7 The water is so crystal clear that
you can easily make out the face of Nancy Pelosi, the person you are
holding underwater.
There!! See? It really does work... You're smiling already. Feel
free to forward this if you know others who might benefit from this
technique.
Sue
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1727
Running With the Pack
Katie, Sandi and Rudy are ready for their evening prowl.
BJ: Where do you guys go at night?
Rudy: Out.
BJ: I know that, but where?
Katie: We must have our own secrets father. Nothing personal.
BJ: Sandi?
Sandi: Sorry Daddy, it is a brotherhood thing.
The dogs take off....
BJ to himself: Tonight, I will follow them and find out where they
go. I have my jogging shoes on and I feel good so...
later....
BJ: Whew, I hope they stop soon, I am getting tired.
Finally BJ sees the dogs have stopped at an old shed. He hangs back
a little. A light comes on inside the shed. BJ sneaks up and peeks
in the window.
Inside...
Rudy: Hey Katie get me another brew from the fridge will ya.
Katie: Sure thing ole buddy. Here ya go ole feller. Want one
Sandi?
Sandi: No, I will take some Doritos though and hand me a copy of
the latest X-Man comic book. Is it me or are these Bean-bag chairs
getting more comfortable?
Rudy: A-roo!!! Ho Ho!
BJ grins.... and heads home...
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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