Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Michigan... home of this buffalo.
The Mayor of Detroit can see a foreign country from his living room
Detroit is known as the car capital of the world.
Alpena is the home of the world's largest cement plant.
Rogers City boasts the world's largest limestone quarry.
Elsie is the home of the world's largest registered Holstein dairy
herd.
Michigan is first in the United States production of peat and
magnesium
compounds and second in gypsum and iron ore.
Colon is home to the world's largest manufacturer of magic supplies.
The state Capitol with its majestic dome was built in Lansing in
l879.
Although Michigan is often called the ( Wolverine State) There are
no longer
any wolverines in Michigan. (However, one was spotted in 2007, so
there are a few
Michigan ranks first in state boat registrations. (This was true
till two years ago. The sagging economy
now has Florida a little ahead of Michigan.)
The Packard Motor Car Company in Detroit manufactured the first
Air-conditioned car in 1939.
The oldest county (based on date of incorporation) is Wayne in 1815.
Sault Ste. Marie was founded by Father Jacques Marquette in 1668. It
is the
third oldest remaining settlement in the United States
In 1817 the University of Michigan was the first university
Established by
any of the states. It was founded by priests. Originally named
Cathelepistemian and located in
Detroit, the name was changed in 1821. The university moved to Ann
Arbor in 1841.
The city of Novi was named from its designation as Stagecoach Stop
#6 or No.VI.
Michigan State University has the largest single campus student body
of any Michigan university. It is the largest institution
of higher learning in the state and one of the largest universities
in the country. Michigan State University was founded in 1855 as the
nation's first land-grant university
and served as the prototype for 69 land-grant institutions later
established under the Morrill Act of 1862. It was the
first institution of higher learning in the nation to teach
scientific agriculture.
The largest village in Michigan is Caro.
Michigan's state stone, The Petoskey is the official state stone. It
is found along the shores of Lake Michigan ..
The Mackinac Bridge is one of the longest suspension bridges in the
world. Connecting the upper and lower peninsulas of Michigan.It
spans 5 miles over the Straits of Mackinac, which is where Lake
Michigan
and Lake Huron meet. The Mighty Mac took 3 years to complete and was
opened to traffic in 1957.
Gerald R. Ford grew up in Grand Rapids and became the 38th president
of the United States . He attended the University of Michigan where
he was a football star. He served on a World War II aircraft carrier
and afterward represented Michigan in Congress for 24 years. He was
also an Eagle Scout,
the highest rank in Boy Scouts.
The Kellogg Company has made Battle Creek the Cereal Capital of the
World. The Kellogg brothers accidentally discovered the process for
producing flaked Cereal products and sparked the beginning of the
dry cereal industry.
The painted turtle is Michigan's state reptile.
The western shore of Michigan has many sand dunes. The Sleeping Bear
Dunes rise 460 feet above Lake Michigan. Living among the dunes is
the dwarf lake iris the official state wildflower.
Vernor's ginger ale was created in Detroit and became the first soda
pop made in the United States . In 1862, pharmacist James Vernor
was trying to create a new beverage when he was called away to serve
our country in the Civil War. When he returned, 4 years later, the
drink he had stored in an
oak case had acquired a delicious gingery flavor.
The Detroit Zoo was the first zoo in America to feature cageless,
open-exhibits that allowed the animals more freedom to roam.
Michigan is the only place in the world with a floating post office.
The J.W. Westcott II is the only boat in the world that delivers
mail to ships while they are still underway. They have been
operating for 125 years.
Indian River is the home of the largest crucifix in the world. It is
called the Cross in the Woods.
Michigan has the longest freshwater shoreline in the world.
Michigan has more shoreline than any other state except Alaska .
The Ambassador Bridge was named by Joseph Bower, the person credited
with making the bridge a reality, who thought the name (
Detroit-Windsor International Bridge ) as too long and lacked
emotional appeal. Bower wanted to symbolize the visible expression
of friendship of two peoples with like ideas and ideals.
Michigan has more than 11,000 inland lakes and more than 36,000
miles of streams.
Michigan has 116 lighthouses and navigational lights Seul Choix
Point Lighthouse in Gulliver has been guiding ships since 1895. The
working light also functions as a museum, which houses early 1900's
furnishings and maritime artifacts.
Forty of the state's 83 counties adjoin at least one of the Great
Lakes .
Michigan is the only state that touches four of the five Great Lakes
.
Standing anywhere in the state a person is within 85 miles of one of
a Great Lake.
Michigan includes 56,954 square miles of land area; 1,194 square
miles of inland waters; and 38,575 square miles of Great Lakes water
area.
Sault Ste. Marie was established in 1668 making it the oldest town
between the Alleghenies and the Rockies.
Michigan was the first state to provide in its Constitution for the
establishment of public libraries.
Michigan was the first state to guarantee every child the right to
tax-paid high school education.
Four flags have flown over Michigan - French, English, Spanish and
United States.
Isle Royal Park shelters one of the largest moose herds remaining in
the United States .
Some of the longest bulk freight carriers in the world operate on
the Great Lakes . Ore carriers 1,000 feet long sail
Michigan's inland seas. The Upper Michigan Copper Country is the
largest commercial deposit of native copper in the world.
The 19 chandeliers in the Capitol in Lansing are one of a kind and
designed especially for the building by Tiffany's of New York .
Weighing between 800-900 pounds apiece they are composed of copper,
iron and pewter.
The first auto traffic tunnel built between two nations was the
mile-long Detroit-Windsor tunnel under the Detroit River .
The world's first international submarine railway tunnel was opened
between Port Huron, Michigan, and Sarnia, Ontario, Canada in 1891.
The nation's first regularly scheduled air passenger service began
operation between Grand Rapids and Detroit in 1926.
In 1879 Detroit telephone customers were first in the nation to be
assigned phone numbers to facilitate handling calls.
In 1929, the Michigan State Police established the first state
police radio system in the world.
Grand Rapids is home to the 24-foot Leonardo da Vinci horse, called
Il Gavallo. It is the largest equestrian bronze sculpture in the
Western Hemisphere.
buffalos says Hi to everyone on the East Coast this morning. I hear
things are a little wet and windy today. Fortunately for us that has
seemed to temper our weather and we have no snow on the ground.
That is fine with me but the hunters and winter sports people are
eagerly awaiting it. We usually get a good blizzard along about
now and depending what the jet stream does we either have 6 months
till spring or 6 more months of winter and we don't need a ground
hog
to get the answer.
I hate Friday the 13th and will be laying low today. Enjoy the
chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Stump Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two executives were deep in a Highland forest, on an
adventure weekend arranged by their firm. Neither had
any real map-reading skills and they became separated
from the other members of their team. All they knew
was that the final rendezvous point was a remote pub
called, 'The Wee Stump Inn.'
They trudged through the woods for hours, hopelessly
lost until they came to what looked like a fork in
the forestry trail. They couldn't agree on which path
to take. Eventually, they decided to take one path
each. They shook hands and resolved that the last man
back to the pub would pay for the drinks.
Four hours later, the man that chose the correct fork
was sitting at the pub fireside, enjoying his pint,
when his friend staggered in. He was cut, bleeding,
battered and bruised as if he had been mugged by a
rugby team.
Once the men in the pub got the man settled, he
explained, "I must have gone around in circles for
hours, until I heard the sound of an idling car
engine. I headed toward the sound and found a car
in a clearing at the end of what looked like a
'lovers lane'. The car was all steamed up and I
couldn't see who was inside, but I could hear more
than one voice. So, I thought that I could ask for
directions and I knocked on the driver's window. Now,
the man in the car must have been a complete
psychopath, because as soon as I asked him,
'How far is the Wee Stump Inn?' he jumped out of the
car and beat the shit out of me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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he said the wrong thing
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his last words
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Elmer Fudd For President
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Polish girl went to the gynecologist. She disrobed and got up into
the stirrups. The doctor was so shocked at the neglectful state of
her
vagina he asked, "When was the last time you had a check-up?" "Well,
to be honest with you," she blushed, "I've never had a Czech up
there, but I have had several Hungarians."
A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that
she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her
bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under
the
turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The
woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry
Christmas"
up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking
good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo
artist
asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such
unusual tattoos on your thighs?" She says "I'm sick and tired of my
husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
The judge asked the woman why she wanted a divorce: there was no
sign
that the husband was cruel, or wandering, or any of the usual things
that lead to this situation. The woman replied that she was seeking
the divorce on grounds of hobosexuality! The judge, trying to stifle
his laughter, asked, "Don't you mean homosexuality?
replied, "I mean hobosexuality. He's a bum lay!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Priest Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A distinguished young woman on a flight from
Switzerland asked the priest beside her,
"Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair remover
that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid
they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry
it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you:
I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question
you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead
of her.
The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to
declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have
nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked,
"And what do you have to declare from your waist
to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be
used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead,
Father. Next!"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Kids will be putting their expensive toys aside just to play with
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and
get you a bit loose." "Oh no you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll
take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks." "Oh no
you're not." "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you
drinks." "Oh no you're not." "Then I'm going to make violent,
passionate love to you." "Oh no you're not." "And I'm not going to
wear a condom either!" said the guy. "Oh yes you are!" said the
girl.
Remember to use ALL fingers when waving at a police officer.
A woman was in a sex boutique shopping for vibrators when the clerk
said, "Perhaps you might be interested in this one. It's our most
realistic model." The woman said, "You mean it's shaped exactly like
a man's penis?" "No," the clerk replied, "I mean that after five
minutes it goes soft for the rest of the night."
A passionate kiss is like a spider's web. It soon leads to the
undoing of a fly.
As a couple were getting ready for bed, the husband coming from the
bathroom jumps into bed. His wife whines, "I have a headache." He
replies "Perfect! I just powdered my dick in aspirin, you can take
it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you."
Ninety percent of men who try Camels prefer women. (Richard
Lederer).
The supervisor was confused about paying a bill, so he asked his
secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her. The
secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
Childbirth.
The man brought the girl back to his apartment, took off his
clothes, and said, "I'd like you to meet my little friend." She took
a look, gathered up her clothes, then said, "Call me when it grows
up."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Top 10 Home Penis-Enlargement Techniques
10. Really grippy pliers.
9. A couple dozen layers of duct tape, a coating of Bondo, and
some tan spray paint.
8. Insert bicycle tire pump to the business end and inflate to 35
psi.
7. Just pull on it a couple hundred times each day while staring
at your computer monitor. Hasn't worked yet, but I'm sticking
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anyway.
6. Inject a solution of warm water and active dry yeast, and keep
in a warm
location.
5. Finally put that taffy-pulling machine to good use.
4. Place penis on flat surface, apply hammer until member has
swollen
to desired size.
3. Break off your relationship with Lorena Bobbitt.
2. Tie a string around it, then tie the other end to your dog's
leash before taking him for his walk.
1. Daily workouts with your "Wienercize!
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A yuppie business woman in town for an important meeting, checked
into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing
that her favorite suit had been badly wrinkled during the flight,
she phoned the front desk and asked to have the hotel's valet
service pick up the suit for pressing. Almost immediately after she
hung up the phone, a knock sounded at the door and there stood an
elderly Chinaman. Impressed by the speedy service, the career woman
exclaimed, "My, you come lickety-split!
Chinaman, "I come get laundry."
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
---Groucho Marx
A stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course
problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his
replies. "Are you feeling OK?" he asked. "Well, to be honest, I have
this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet," she admitted.
"Is there a name for my condition?" "Why yes, there is," he said, as
he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called
'Good News'."
Q: What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/I want You To Live
http://silverandgol
KIDS IN SUNDAY SCHOOL
http://www.wtv-
Wishing You Well
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Saved By His Blood
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Surfin Surfari
Tips n Hints Via Peggy
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Juggling
HTTP://WWW.JUGGLING
Antique Tools
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Whats Really In That Burger
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Moments With Baxter
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
New Search Engine
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Chtistmas Backs
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
High Blood Pressure
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How Far Will A Condom Stretch
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How A Blonde Pole Dances
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HUH? What's Going on? Playing Footsie!
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Hummer Oh Shit
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Thank God I'm A Country Boy
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The Real Stars - Tom
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The Crash
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The Duck And The Dog
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The Front Fell Off
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The woman who had sex with a horse is in stable condition.
A lady fixed her husband a special meal for his birthday. After
dinner she fixed him a pitcher of martinis then poured him a drink.
Then she left to pick up his favorite dessert from the local bakery.
When she returned from her errand she found her husband, drink in
hand, prancing about the living room wearing her bra, panties and
high heels. "What the hell is going on!" she exclaimed. Her husband
got a quizzical look on his face and said, "What? You asked what I
wanted for my birthday and I told you. I wanted to eat, drink
and........ be Mary."
Nobody is a virgin anymore, life has fucked us all.
A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him
against a charge of bestiality. "I know a great trial lawyer," the
fellow said, "but he's expensive and doesn't know how to pick a
jury. I know another lawyer," he continued," who' s not a great
trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how to pick a jury."
The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second
thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his testimony. "I
saw Jed mount his sheep from behind," he said, "and when he was
finished, I saw the sheep turn around and lick Jed's pecker." The
accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up hope of
acquittal, when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to
him, "You know, a good sheep will do that.
Fifty-six percent of all women carry condoms. The other 44% carry
babies.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
brake for animals
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bread and butter
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break up
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vickie had dreamt what was in store -
When she enticedhim to her boudoir
Pleasured herself with zeal
If this dream had been real
She'd be screaming all night for more
____________
The sea captain's tender young bride
Fell into the bay at low tide,
You could tell by her squeals,
That some of the eels,
Had discovered a dark place to hide.
____________
I could hear the dull buzz of the bee
As he sunk his grub hooks into me.
Her ass, it was fine
But the bee just saw mine
In the shade of the old apple tree.
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 2009, Derek Jeter made baseball history and we're honoring him on
this brilliant, uncirculated, genuine US Half Dollar. Layered in
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kitchen Sex Aids
Barbecue tongs.
Ice cream scooper.
Egg beater (don't ask).
Spatula (for paddling).
Ice cubes.
Hand mixer.
Rolling pin (for extra-adventurous girls).
Egg timer (to guard against premature ejaculation)
Chip clip (those big clothespin-looking things make great nipple
clamps).
Crisco.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 2009, Derek Jeter made baseball history and we're honoring him on
this brilliant, uncirculated, genuine US Half Dollar. Layered in
pure 24K gold, this coin is a great gift for any baseball fan. This
limited edition coin is officially licensed and comes with a
certificate of authenticity.
Own your piece of baseball history today.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The doctor was lecturing a class on sex. He asked,
"Do you know what the first oral contraceptive was?"
A coed said, "No."
The doctor replied, "Exactly!"
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched
as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and
down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes,
Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied,
'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are
healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried,
said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friends,
A friend from my hometown has a grandson at the Ontonagon Elementary
School
and the school is involved in a contest to get $10K for a playground
improvement project. Ontonagon is a small community about 30 miles
from
my hometown in the Upper Penninsula of Michigan. The community has
been
struggling with the recent closure of the main employer, a paper
mill,
in town. With the closure, many families have moved, reducing school
enrollment and the elementary school has consolidated with the high
school into a main campus. The new locale has no playground. A
school
employee applied for this grant sponsored by the NFL and the
school's
project is one of the finalists. The winner is picked by popular
vote.
Here's where you come in.
Please go to www.kaboom.org/
and
vote for Play Ontonagon. You can vote once every 24 hours from your
computer. You can also vote every 24 hours from your smart phone.
You
can vote every day until Dec. 1 Thanks a lot.
When I looked last the school had slipped to second place by about
300 votes, so vote early and vote often!
Yoopers always pull together to help each other. Let's do it again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
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