Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I know before I start this there are as many different ways to
make chili as there are cooks in a kitchen. I know also that
a lot of chili lovers would consider a blasphemer of the sacred
art of chili making because I like beans in my chili. I also like to
make a fresh batch of chili and use it for other items like
Chili-mac and chili cheese fries and in casseroles and never
have a bowl of plain chili. I also do not believe that every bowl
of chili has to be so hot that it will peel the Teflon off of the
pan
you are cooking it in. I just feel that flavor is important and that
you should be able to taste the individual components.
I had just got home from shopping last night and Sandy was
putting the things away as we talked about supper. It seems are
refrigerator is always packed with leftovers that usually go bad
before they get used. In there last night was a batch of ham and
red beans from two nights ago and a large bowl of Sloppy Joe
filling from lunch that no one had bothered to put in buns and
freeze.
I suggested a quick batch of chili and we through the leftovers,
tomatoes, sauce, and spices in and let it cook for a half hour
and it was awesome. Every piece had its own flavor and then
the smokiness of the ham and the spice infused into it in layers.
We cook a ham a half dozen times a year and between the bones
and scraps we put away enough for three batches of beans usually
served with corn bread. They are always delicious and the leftovers
frequently get tossed because no one wants the gas two days in
a row but recently I threw a batch of baked beans together out of
the
leftovers and it sat in the oven till the brown sugar caramelized to
almost black. I hid a bowl of them in the fridge and was taking
tortillas
and cold cuts and making wraps out of them for late night snacks.
The
mere thought of those is enough to make me drool heh heh.
Maybe they could make a new show for the Food Channel like
Chopped/ Leftovers. Something like open your refrigerators and
prepare an entrée using leftover acorn squash, corn dogs, and
vanilla yogurt .
Enjoy the chips and Happy Eating... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
McCartney Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his
wife are facing
divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her
false leg ...
Personally, I think it's prosthetic.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from
his wife
Heather Mills-McCartney.
Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has
been my
crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no
idea why this
has happened, I'm stumped"
"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she
will need
all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a
relationship like this"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to
the
marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world
amassing a
colossal wealth due to his participation with The Beatles and
subsequent musical
collaborations, if an agreement hasn't been signed it is believed
that she won't
have a leg to stand on.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity
may have been
the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get
her leg
over".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the
cause.
"Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home
at night
and find her legless"
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the
present that Paul
bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new Prosthetic leg
for Christmas
but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a plane but
then he gave
her a Lady-Shave for the other leg.
Apparently she wants to keep the plane he bought her for Christmas,
she says
she'll buy her own Immac for the other leg.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A poem by Sir Paul McCartney-
I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt
and her leg fell in the river
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
A Miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his
mate "I'm
****ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try
Paul
McCartney"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
Q What had 3 legs and lived on a farm?
A The McCartneys
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now
she has left
him, he's going to struggle to find another lady that can fill her
shoe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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End Of The World
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English Celebrate
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English Words
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It happened at a summer resort, as so many things do. The young
executive was sitting at the bar, quietly drinking himself into a
stupor, when an attractive redhead sat down beside him and ordered
Scotch and water. They got into a harmless conversation, and as the
evening wore on they became progressively more friendly. After the
umpteenth round, he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Let's get
a
bottle and go up to my room." She focused her glassy stare on him.
"I'll have you know I'm a lady," she slurred. "I realize that. If I
wanted a man I'd send home for my brother."
She was a middle-aged matron, and he was in his twenties. They had
met
at a cocktail party, and now she had finally convinced him to come
visit her at her apartment. As she lured him into her sumptuous
bedroom, she promised: "Tomorrow I'll send you a little present. If
you're really good, you'll get a Cadillac. If you're fair, it'll be
a
Pontiac. And if you're just so-so, you'll get a Crosley." Some four
hours later, as our young hero was adjusting his suspenders, he
asked:
"Well, how was I?" "You'll know in the morning," she replied, "when
the mailman delivers the pair of roller skates."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex is what makes the world go round. And with sex the world is a
merrier-go-round.
Mother came home unexpectedly one evening, and she was shocked to
find
her daughter in a compromising position with the neighbor's son.
"Why -
I never she gasped. The lad rolled over. "Oh, you must have...
once!"
I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
"Guess what I heard today?" a man says to his wife. "What, hon?" she
asks. "The mailman has had sex with every woman on our block but
one."
"Huh," his wife says, "I bet it's that 96 year old snooty Phyllis
next
door."
There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try
Weekly,
and Try Weakly.
What is the difference between a hobo and a homo?
A hobo doesn't have any friends, and a homo has friends up the ass.
What do you get if you cross a donkey with an onion?
Most of the time you simply get an onion with long ears, but every
once in a while you get a piece of ass that brings tears to your
eyes.
Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only
on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What is the speed limit of sex?
68 because when you get to 69 you have to turn around.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the check out at the food store
A nun was advising the poor:
"Hey you up in front!
That's to many items you cunt!
And they won't take food stamps for beer ya dumb whore."
~~~~~~~~*~~~
Last week my boss said he was going to garnish my wages.
Call me dense, but I fail to see how a sprig of parsley in my
paycheck will make
it any more attractive.
~~~~~~~~*~~~
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart
aleck Tex,"
said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign
car he
bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy
replied. "He'll
always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll
say is
hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third.
"He's so smart,
he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung
open the
bunkhouse door, walks in and shouts, "Audi, partners!"
~~~~~~~~*~~~
On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an
elderly couple in front of me. Learning that it was
the couple's 50th wedding anniversary, the flight
attendant congratulated them and asked how they had
done it.
"It all felt like five minutes..." the gentleman said
slowly.
The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a
sweet statement that was when he finished his sentence
with a word that earned him a sharp smack on the head:
"...underwater.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanksgiving Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things You Can Only Say At Thanksgiving
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist and warm.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst.
5. Wow, that's one awesome spread!
6. I'm in the mood to try some dark meat!
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn. There's plenty for everybody.
10. Stop playing with your meat!
11. Did you think you could handle all those people at once?
12. Just spread the legs apart and stuff it in.
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little on your chin.
15. How long does it take after you stick it in?
16. You know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I never knew I could handle so much!
18. That's absolutely the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long should I beat this before it's ready?
20. That's gives a whole new meaning to the sandwich concept!
21. Just lay back and take it easy. I'll do the rest.
22. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
23. Wanna neck?
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Jewish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The village rabbi dies and the congregation decides, after some
time,
that the rebetzin (Rabbi's wife), should marry again. It is a small
village and the only available candidate is the local butcher.
Since she once lived with a scholar, she is reluctant, but
eventually,
she accepts because he is known for his orthodoxy and for his
kindness
and affectionate ways.
On the first Friday night, after their marriage, just after taking a
bath in the mikva--(ritual bath), the new husband tells the
rebbetzin,
'Dearest Bride, my mother always said that before the beginning of
the
Sabbath, it was a mitzvah (blessing) to have sex before going to the
synagogue.'
They do it and when he comes back from the synagogue he tells her,
'Precious Bride, according to my father, it is a blessing to have
sex
before lighting the Sabbath candles.'
They do it again and when it is time to go to sleep he tells her,
'Darling, my grandfather told me that one should always have sex on
Sabbath night.'
Finally they go to sleep and when they wake up the next morning he
tells
her, 'Sweetheart, my aunt says that a religious Jew always starts
the
Sabbath by having sex. So lets do it again, OK?'
Finally on Sunday she goes out to the market and meets a friend that
asks her, 'So how is the new husband?'
'Well, an intellectual he isn't, but he comes from a wonderful
family!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Music In My Soul
http://silverandgol
My First Thanksgiving Dinner
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Can't Smile
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Holy Alphabet
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Software Inspector
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Movie Links
I love my car
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I feel good
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If I was a terrorist
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I have everything I need
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IKEA commercial not seen in US
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Bad Luck
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Ford Police Chase
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Man Cheats DEA
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Missile
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advice Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some of you at the Friars may remember a guy named Charlie Schlossel
who was
a very successful manufacturer who seemed to disappear from our
midst.
Last night I was about to enter my limousine when I saw this
homeless
person going through a garbage can and I realized it was Charlie
Schlossel.
It was a sobering moment. I said, "Charlie, what happened?"
"Well, I went through fifteen million like this," he said, snapping
his
fingers. "You know, after I sold my business I always wanted a jet
airplane
so I bought one. I'm coming out of Manila Airport, we had to abort
the
takeoff, the wing hits the tarmac, bursts into flame, thank God we
were all
safe. Five million dollars, no insurance, out the window."
He said, "I was sitting in the south of France, I saw this yacht and
I hear
somebody's saying that the guy's going belly up. I give him five
million for
the yacht. We're coming out of the fjords in Norway, hit an iceberg,
sunk,thank God we got out."
He said, "I saw this little girl in the Greek Islands ... breasts,
ass firm,
tight, maybe twenty, twenty-three years old. I married her. Two
years
later she took me for five million in the settlement."
The lesson, I guess, that we can all learn is that if it flies,
floats, or
fucks --- rent it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Talkin Dirty
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Golf
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Filling A Hole
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Somewhere in America
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In bed
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Better Half
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Said an irate young whore in Hong Kong,
"I think you are utterly wrong
To say my vagina's
The largest in China
Just because of your mean little dong."
There once was a man from Calcutta
Who took a sly peep through a shutter.
But all he could see
was his wife's twitching knee
And the arse of the man that was up her
There once was a queer named Feeney
Who liked to pour gin on his weenie,
In a moment uncouth,
He poured on vermouth
And slipped his friend Dan a martini
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A working mother suspected her teenage son of bringing home girls
after
school. So, one morning she decided to buy a parrot. Entering the
pet store, she asked the owner if he had any talking parrots. He
replied
that he has one that has been in the shop for years and knew
thousands of words. When she asked why the parrot had been there so
long he told her that the parrot was handicapped. It didn't have any
feet. She wondered out loud how he hung on to his perch and the
embarrassed owner told her that the parrot just wrapped his penis
around
the perch and hung on. Desperate, she bought him anyway and hung the
cage in her son's room. After returning home that night, she was
anxious for answers.
"Did you see anything?" she asked the parrot.
The parrot squawked, "Wrrakk! Your son
brought a beautiful girl home from school!"
The mother was upset by this and asked,
"What else did he do?"
The parrot replied, "Wrrakk! He took off all
of her clothes!"
Now she was REALLY mad and said.
"And then what did you see?"
And the parrot squawked, "Nothing! Wrrakk...
I fell off my perch!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to
meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud
voice, "Free bus to the Hotel Astor!"
On the way to the station on his first trip her kept
repeating to himself, "Free bus to the Hotel Astor, Free bus to the
Hotel Astor," until he memorized it letter perfect. Upon his
arrival at the station, however, he became confused at all the noise
and hubbub and started shouting as follows. "Free Hotel at the bust
your Astor. I mean, Free ass at the Hotel Bastard, I mean, Freeze
your ass at the Hotel Buster. I mean Squeeze your bust at the Hotel
Faster. I mean, Bust your ass at the Hotel Freezer. Oh shit...take
a cab!"
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1722
Katie, The Nurse
I was getting a bit ill at work the other day and when I got home I
had a full blown case of Bronchitis. I was feeling really bad. All
I
wanted to do was sleep. I also was chilled to the bone. I climbed
in bed and piled on the covers and had an extra blanket and was
still
trembling.
Katie: Father, what is ever the matter with you?
BJ: I am sick Katherine. I cannot get warm.
Katie: Allow me to assist you in this manner father.
Katie worms her way under the covers and curls up next to dad.
Katie: Better?
BJ: I am still cold.
Katie wiggles under BJ's legs: How's that?
BJ: That feels good. Thanks ole girl.
Sandi snuggles up to the other side of dad and soon the fever
breaks.
The herd in Guthrie
(The first time Katie has ever gotten under my legs to warm me up.
She somehow knew I was not feeling well and did her best to warm
me up)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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