[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!

 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

 

Miracles are instantaneous, they cannot be summoned,
but come of themselves, usually at unlikely moments
and to those who least expect them.
      ~Katherine Anne Porter

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It is that time of year once more.
I ordered cable tv again because the war dept.
loves Christmas movies. Seems like there
are at least 3 or 4 playing every night between
now and Christmas eve. And
it does not take her long to find one to
watch. Usually I let her have the big screen tv
in the living room and I go back to my office
with my little five dollar portable tv that I
got from Goodwill. But thats another story.

When we were growing up, you only had 3 or 4
stations on mom and dad's old black and white,
console.  So a Christmas movie was special. They
only played maybe one per week and you didn't get
burned out by seeing so many. Its kinda like hallmark
and Disney when we were kids. They didn't have
their own channel. So you only got to see Mickey
once a week and you might get to watch a good
Hallmark movie every couple of months. I suppose
its possible that you can have too much of a good
thing and you don't always appreciate it for what
it is. I keep telling her that is how it is with me,
She doesn't realize how good a thing she's got
because I'm always here:) heheheh...
wonder why she keeps rolling her eyes when I say
things like that?

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

___________

long time no see
http://thepostmanscorner.net/c001.html

the truth about whistlers mother
http://thepostmanscorner.net/c002.html

that reminds me
http://thepostmanscorner.net/c004.html

thank you Rex
http://thepostmanscorner.net/c005.html

every ones complaining
http://thepostmanscorner.net/c006.html

difficulties
http://thepostmanscorner.net/c007.html

I thought you would like to know...
http://thepostmanscorner.net/c008.html

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

he got busted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8466.html

macho skeet shooting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8467.html

millionaire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8468.html

one day while driving the fork lift
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8469.html

bunge jumping for a cause
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8470.html

The Obama snuggie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8471.html

jingle bells Ricky Nelson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8472.html

"Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his
chair. "I'm very sick, would you please call me a vet?"
"A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?"
asked his wife.The husband replied, "Because I work like
a horse, live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow!"
___________

Three women are talking about their boyfriends.
"It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are
always cold as ice when I'm giving him a blow job!"
"You know what?" replies Jenny, "It's exactly the
same with my Richard!"They turn to the third girl.
"That's disgusting! I never put his thing in my mouth!"
"You're crazy," one of the girls pipes up. "A good
blow job is the best way to keep a guy! You should try it!"
She says she'll think about it.The next morning, they
meet at the cafe and the blow job novice is sporting a
wicked shiner."Whoa!" the first girl asks, "How did you
get that black eye?!""Chris hit me when I was blowing him,"
she said."What on earth for?!" the second girl asks.
"I don't know," she replied. "All I did was tell him how
strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as
Pete and Richard's are so cold!"
_____________

The distinguished-looking elderly man asked at the
department store information kiosk where he might
purchase some personal stationery. He was directed to
the notions department on the third floor, but in the
crowded elevator he became confused and got off on the
fourth floor by mistake. Approaching the attractive
floor manager standing near the elevator doors, he
said, "Excuse me, Miss, but do you have notions?"
"Sure," she replied mischievously, "but during the work
week I try to suppress them until after five o'clock."
"No, no, you don't understand," he stammered. "I mean
to say, do you keep stationery?""No, I like to go with
the flow right till the end," replied the floor manager,
laughing. "And then I just start quivering all over.
_______________

A stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for
some course problems, but seemed to be paying only
half attention to his replies. 
"Are you feeling OK?" he asked.
"Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex
with every man I meet," she admitted.
"Is there a name for my condition?"
"Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and
began carrying her to the couch.
"It's called 'Good News'."
_______________

One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the
water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes
looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back
to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's
a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny.
He's been there for years, And he's never hurt no one.
Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of
me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
_______________

BUFFALO BILL

Sir Edmund
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81814.htm

Smoke Inhalation
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81815.htm

Sneeze Aivastus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81816.htm
___________

SYDESJOKES LIST

Dr Bean
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000479.html

Dr Pepper
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000480.html

Dragon Costume
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000481.html

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

 

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 11-30

 

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

At midnight tonight the on-street parking ban begins so that
means the vehicles will be in the back yard till the lawn freezes
solid then I can park there again. There still is no snow on the
ground but the weatherman promises an end to that situation.

Today is Sandy's birthday and also our thirtieth wedding
anniversary. It seems like so much longer at times.

For those of you who are always looking for a reason
to celebrate, December is your month. A person could
develop a hangover that will last to President's Day
in February .

Dec. 01. Apple Day
Dec. 01. Day Without) Art
Dec. 01. Pie Day
Dec. 01. World AIDS Day
Dec. 01. National Day in Central African Republic
Dec. 01. Independence Day in Portugal
Dec. 01. National Day in Romania
Dec. 02. Abolition of Slavery Day
Dec. 02. National Day in Laos
Dec. 02. National Holiday in United Arab Emirates
Dec. 03. Disabled Persons Awareness Day
Dec. 04. Cookie Day
Dec. 04. Santa's List Day
Dec. 05. Play Hooky Day
Dec. 05. Bathtub Fun Day
Dec. 05. Discovery Day in Haiti
Dec. 05. National Day in Thailand
Dec. 06. Pawnbrokers Day
Dec. 06. Saint Nicholas Day
Dec. 06. Independence of Quito Day in Ecuador
Dec. 06. Independence Day in Finland
Dec. 06. Constitution Day in Spain
Dec. 07. Civil Aviation Day
Dec. 07. Cotton Candy Day
Dec. 07. Letter-Writing Day
Dec. 07. Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day
Dec. 07. Teacher Appreciation Day
Dec. 08. Brownie Day
Dec. 08. Lady of Camarin Day in Guam
Dec. 08. Feast of the Immaculate Conception in Nicaragua
Dec. 08. Constitution Day in Uzbekistan
Dec. 09. Homemade Gift Day
Dec. 09. Independence Day in Tanzania
Dec. 10. Thai Constitution Day in Thailand
Dec. 11. National Day in Burkina Faso
Dec. 12. Poinsettia Day
Dec. 12. Independence Day in Kenya
Dec. 12. Guadalupe Day in Mexico
Dec. 12. Constitution Day in Russia
Dec. 12. Neutrality Day in Turkmenistan
Dec. 13. Cocoa Day
Dec. 13. Shareware Day
Dec. 13. Republic Day in Malta
Dec. 13. Santa Lucia Day in Sweden
Dec. 14. Email Tag Day
Dec. 15. Bill of Rights Day
Dec. 15. Kingdom Day in Curacao
Dec. 15. Navidades in Puerto Rico
Dec. 16. Stupid Toy Day
Dec. 16. Independence Day in Bahrain
Dec. 16. Victory Day in Bangladesh
Dec. 16. Posadas in Mexico
Dec. 16. Christmas Observance in Philippines
Dec. 16. Reconciliation Day in South Africa
Dec. 17. Wright Brothers Day
Dec. 18. Bake Cookies Day
Dec. 18. Wear A Plunger On Your Head Day
Dec. 18. Republic Day in Niger
Dec. 19. Oatmeal Muffin Day
Dec. 19. Underdog Day
Dec. 20. Go Caroling Day
Dec. 21. Don't Be A Scrooge Day
Dec. 21. Flashlight Day
Dec. 21. Forefathers' Day
Dec. 21. Winter Solstice
Dec. 21. World Peace Day
Dec. 21. Yalda
Dec. 22. Yule
Dec. 23. Emperor's Birthday in Japan
Dec. 24. Christmas Eve
Dec. 24. Last-Minute Shopper's Day
Dec. 24. Independence Day in Libya
Dec. 25. Christmas
Dec. 25. Pumpkin Pie Day
Dec. 25. Birthday of Quaid-I-Azam in Pakistan
Dec. 25. Constitution Day in Taiwan
Dec. 26. Boxing Day
Dec. 26. Kwanzaa Begins
Dec. 26. Whiner's Day
Dec. 26. Junkanoo in Bahamas
Dec. 26. Boxing Day in Canada
Dec. 26. Day of the Wren in Ireland
Dec. 26. Independence Day in Slovenia
Dec. 26. Goodwill Day in South Africa
Dec. 26. Boxing Day in United Kingdom
Dec. 28. Card Playing Day
Dec. 28. Chocolate Day
Dec. 28. Holy Innocents Day (Childermas)
Dec. 28. Proclamation Day in Australia
Dec. 30. Rizal in Philippines
Dec. 31. Make Up Your Mind Day
Dec. 31. New Year's Eve
Dec. 31. New Year's Resolutions
Dec. 31. Samoan Fire Dance in Western Samoa

Enjoy the chips .... buffalo

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Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four regulars were playing their weekly game of golf, and one
remarked how
nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed
and
without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies
and
play a round. His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it!
We'll make
it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas
morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on
the golf
course. The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I
bought my
wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."
Number 2 guy
says, "I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I
gave
her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures." Number 3 guy says
"Well my
wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."

They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them
like
they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such
expense
for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, 'Well
babe,
Merry Christmas! It's a great morning, is it Intercourse or Golf
Course and
she said... "Take a sweater - it's a bit cool this morning..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

after Thanksgiving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b060.html

saving water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b061.html

well, have you?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b062.html

Extra Credit Project
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000618.html

Eye Exam
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000619.html

Eyes
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000620.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to
plant you
right here!

2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go
screw.

3. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.

4. Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to
be.

5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

7. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one
talking to
you.

8. My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and
going....

9. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd
be coming
too.

10. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you
treat me
right, and I'll do it your way right away.

11. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone
beat me to
it.

12. I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to
"tinker"
around with.

13. You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you're the Bomb
-diggity.

14. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be
McGorgeous.

15. Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.

16. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed
Thrasher, have you
seen one?

17. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride
you all day
long for a quarter.

18. Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all
night
long.

19. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep
until the
afternoon.

20. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

21. If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.

22. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost
mine.

23. I look good on you.

24. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Get two for the price of one when you order today.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An American guy travels to Japan on business. After 3 days of
intense meetings, he's exhausted.

After work he decides to go out and get some dinner, and maybe have
a
few drinks. Well, after a few beers and some saki, he's feeling a
little horny. He decides to go down the street to a geisha bar.
After a few more drinks he hires one of the women to go back to his
hotel for some action.

They go back, begin to fool around, and eventually end up on the
bed. As they start to have sex, she begins moaning . . . then
screaming. As she catches her breath, she begins shouting, "Shin-Wa!
Shin-Wa!"

The guy doesn't speak any Japanese, but is having the best sex of
his
life, and he's pretty proud of himself for giving the Geisha such a
great time. After they're done, he pays her, and she leaves, barely
able to walk out of the room.

The next day, the businessman has to play golf with the CEO of the
Japanese company he had been meeting with. Everything goes
great . . . they get to the 18th hole, and the CEO has a 40 ft. putt
to make par, and have the best round of his life. He takes his time,
lines it up, and sinks it!

The American is so thrilled, he decides to impress the CEO with the
Japanese he's learned and starts shouting, "Shin-Wa! Shin-Wa!"

The CEO turns to him and says, "What do mean, wrong hole?"

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jewish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Selma telephones home with some
exciting news:

"Mama, I got married."
"Mazel Tov," says Mama.

"I might as well tell you, Mama, he's not of
our Faith."
"So he's a goy. But am I prejudiced?"

"But, Mama, he's also black."
"So he's a schvartzeh. By me, everybody
should be tolerant."

"Well, frankly, Mama, he's also unemployed."
"So, you'll support him. A wife should help
her husband."

"But, Mama, we have no place to live."
"Don't worry, Selma, dear. You'll move in
with us."

"But Mama, you have only one bedroom."
"That's okay. You and your husband can
have the bedroom."

"Yes, Mama, but where will you and Papa
sleep?"
"Papa can sleep on the couch in the living
room."

"Yes, Mama, but where will *you* sleep?"

"Selma, dear, about me you don't need to
worry. The minute I get off the phone...
I'm going to drop dead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Married Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comebacks For "Why Aren't You Married?"

* Because I don't like having a 50% chance of some day losing
everything that is important to me.

* You haven't asked yet.

* What? And spoil my great sex life?

* Just lucky, I guess.

* I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

* I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

* What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal
ads?

* We really want to, but my lover's husband just won't go for it.

* I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

* Why aren't you thin?

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Survey Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women's test

I'm Not Bitter Quiz-o-Rama

Instructions: Please answer each question as honestly as possible.

1) A woman's place is in the:
a) House (or Senate)
b) Bedroom
c) Office
d) Sitting in a deep dark cellar plotting to cut a man's entrails
out
and leave it as food for wild jackals

2) When singing in the shower, I will most likely sing:
a) "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park"
b) "Material Girl"
c) "I Touch Myself"
d) Theme from "Psycho"

3) The perfect Christmas gift is:
a) Expensive perfume or intimate evening wear
b) Flowers, a backrub, bubble bath, and a hand-written love sonnet
c) Six-pack of Bud, Domino's Pizza, and an evening of QVC
d) Whips, knives and red-hot irons

4) A woman's hairstyle should:
a) Gently accentuate her best features
b) Not resemble a poodle
c) Hide the lobotomy scars
d) Cover the little "666" on the back of the skull and not reveal
the
demon-horns

5) My personal role-model is:
a) Hillary Clinton
b) Ruth Bader-Ginsberg
c) Daisy Duke
d) Lorena Bobbit

6) When it comes to cars, I:
a) Take good care of my car and change my oil regularly.
b) [giggle] What's oil?
c) Think fuzzy dice are cool !
d) Want a Mercedes... NOW!

7) If you man wants to date me, he must also like my:
a) Family
b) Pet rock
c) Therapist
d) Furniture

8) I have a subscription to:
a) Newsweek and the Wall Street Journal
b) Analog and Rolling Stone
c) National Enquirer and T.V. Guide
d) Weekly Reader

9) I want to have ___ children.
a) Any number, as long as they are healthy
b) Some
c) Your
d) Well-dressed

10) My list of favorite authors include:
a) William Shakespeare
b) Maya Angelou
c) Chairman Mao
d) Marquis DeSade

11) A romantic evening is best spent:
a) Before a roaring fire
b) Having a candle-lit dinner
c) Country line dancing
d) Shopping

12) I want to date a(n):
a) Lawyer
b) Engineer
c) Crew-chief at the local JuffyLube
d) Anyone who owns a shoe store

13) I really admire:
a) My parents, for bringing me up right
b) My teachers, for teaching me about life
c) The makers of Velveeta
d) Zsa Zsa Gabor

14) What attracted me most to you (physically) is/are your:
a) Massive chest
b) Tight buns
c) Tattoo collection
d) Credit cards

15) What attracted me most to you (mentally) is/are your:
a) Sparkling wit
b) Open mind
c) Deep understanding of power tools
d) Huh?

16) I really get turned on when you:
a) Are with me
b) Kiss my neck
c) Imitate Beavis and Butt-Head
d) Do the dishes

17) I can't live without:
a) The support of friends
b) Oxygen
c) Entertainment Tonight
d) Makeup

18) If you were really depressed, I would:
a) Listen to your problems
b) Rub your back
c) Get you drunk
d) Laugh

19) My favorite television programs are:
a) NYPD Blue and Home Improvement
b) MST3K, Roseanne, and Star Trek:TNG
c) This Week In Monster Truck Racing and AmericaUs Most Wanted
d) Lifestyles of the Cruel and Unusual

20) My favorite pig out food is:
a) Low-fat yogurt
b) Haagen Dasz
c) Gummi worms
d) A man's still quivering heart

21) A man should know where I keep my:
a) House keys
b) Erogenous zones
c) Ear-wax remover
d) Guns

22) I would rather die a slow painful death than:
a) Betray a confidence
b) Betray my country
c) Miss "Wheel of Fortune"
d) Spend one more minute with you

23) The most hellish,vile place on Earth is:
a) Bosnia-Herzegovina
b) Texas
c) Anyplace with less than 40 channels of cable
d) Your bedroom

24) The one phrase I would love to hear is:
a) "Congratulations, Madame President"
b) "Ohmygod, that is the winning lottery ticket!"
c) "Wow! I've never seen a woman spit tobacco that far!"
d) "What we can't figure out is how the arsenic got in his food in
the
first place."

25) If a man was to propose to me, I would:
a) Cry
b) Call my mother
c) Be pregnant
d) Giggle uncontrollably

Please write a 300 word essay on the theme: "A Woman's Role In the
Relationship: Helpmate or Saboteur"

Please attach references, a current picture, and a blood sample.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Jesus The Light
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/S_Li.html

Although I May Be Different
http://www.carolspoetry.com/07jan/6.html

John w/ If I Were Santa
http://heavens-gates.com/ifiweresanta.html

Carolyn w/No Place Like Home For The Holidays ~Perry Como
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/homefortheholidays.html

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Surfin Surfari

Antique and Classic Cars:1902 - 1970s Via Dianne
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Vintage Beercans
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Click on a Horse !
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Cool Periodic Table of Elements
http://www.ptable.com/

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Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Christmas Animations:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html

Angels, Churches, Crosses, Doves Animations
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs.html

Windows 7 Compatibility Wizard
http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windows-7/get/upgrade-advisor.aspx

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
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Movie Links

Sensitivity Training
http://www.buffaloschips.com/898.htm

Serv 3 Chunk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81810.htm

Sex In The Future
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81811.htm

Short Dip
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81812.htm

Singing Monkey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81813.htm

Dirty Sneakers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdj.htm

Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/89uy.htm

Dog In Trance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t43e.htm

Don't Eat While Driving
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t54.htm

Energy Star
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gre3.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a man in a hospital who thought that he would die. So he
asks the
beautiful nurse to accomplish his last wish. Nurse he says, "I want
to kiss the
head of Nikita Kruschev." (you know a president of the ex USSR who
was fat and
had no hair on his head). "Nikita Kruschev? But he is dead for a
long time." "I
don't care I want to kiss his head," the man says. "This is my last
wish!" The
nurse didn't know what to do. Then she thought of something. As the
man did not
wear his glasses the nurse takes her beautiful tits out of her bra
and offers
the left one to the man. He holds it, caresses it and very moved. He
said, "Oh
my dear Nikita, my old friend!! How happy I am to see you again!" He
was kissing
her left tit so warmly that the nurse started liking the whole
situation. She
asks the man, "What about kissing president Eisenhower's head."
"Yes!! Is he
here too?" "Of course he is here," she says, and offers him her
right tit. "Oh
my dear president how happy I am to see you here," said the man,
kissing again
and again, "Eisenhower." The nurse liked all that very very much;
and started to
feel her pussy getting moist; so she asks the man, "What about Fidel
Castro?"

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finger nails
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Lard Ass
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Back Face
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Royal Stuck-up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30806.htm

Typing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30807.htm

Book of Mormon
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Big Nutz
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Customs
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Fishing
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There Once Was A Man From Peru
Who Was Desperately Hanging Out For A Screw.
He Picked Up A Moll
And Rammed Home His Pole
Then Said, `Jesus, That Was Long Overdue.'

There Was A Young Girl From Peru,
Who Badly Wanted A Screw.
She Tried A Broom-Handle
And The End Of A Candle,
But Threw Them Away For A Jew.

There Was A Young Girl From Peru,
Who Had Nothing Whatever To Do.
So She Sat On The Stairs,
And Counted C*nt Hairs;
Four Thousand, Three Hundred And Two.

There Was A Young Girl From Peru,
Who Regretted Her Lovers Were Few.
So She Walked From Her Door,
With A Fig Leaf, No More.
And Now She's In Bed With The Flu.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy sits on Santa's lap. Santa says, "I bet I know what you
want for Christmas," and with his finger he taps the boys nose with
every letter he spells "T-O-Y-S."

The little boy thinks a second and says, "No, I have
enough toys."

Santa replies once again tapping the boys nose with
every letter, "C-A-N-D-Y."

Again the little boy thinks a second and says, "No, I
have all kinds of candy."

"Well what would you like for Christmas?" Santa asks.

The little boy replies, tapping Santa on the nose,
"P-U-S-S-Y, and don't tell me you don't have any
because I can smell it on your finger!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A world renowned cardiologist died and was given an elaborate
funeral
attended by fellow physicians, family members, friends. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following
the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The
heart
then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all
eyes
stared at him, he said,

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral....I'm a
gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!

 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

 

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
We went out and about last night to do our
normal payday stuff. You know, ...a trip to Meijer
and the other grocery stores to get the
necessaries. Never understood why it requires
two or more stops to accomplish. but I do know
that it is important to accompany her...on
such expeditions. Otherwise the consequences are
not good: I would be fed nothing but rabbit food,
such as lettuce and carrots. Steaks would be as
rare as hens teeth. Anyways, on this particular trip,
"the war department" put a dozen eggs in the cart
that came in a container that was different than
the normal. I was informed, "These are cage free
eggs." Cage free? Growing up on the farm, cage
free meant someone left the chicken house door open
and the last thing on earth my brother and I wanted
to do was chase chickens. I am now told however, that
cage free eggs are superior to regular eggs. Altho
the reason why has not clearly been explained. I do
know they certainly taste the same as ordinary eggs,
smell the same as ordinary eggs, and cost about 50
cents a dozen more compared to ordinary eggs. Do you
suppose that must be cuz the farmer lets them into
the flower beds and he has to make enough money to
replace the flowers they ate? Anyways its a cagey
subject that I have yet to understand. Lets have some
jokes, you don't have to have those in a cage.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

___________

I wonder if this guy is takin on new patients ???
I love this Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise
can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it...
Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually..
Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you
can extend life of car by driving faster.
Want live longer? Take nap.
______________

THE COMICS

after Thanksgiving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b060.html

saving water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b061.html

well, have you?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b062.html

stranded on the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b063.html

today's paper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b064.html

question
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b065.html

hello?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b066.html

quit smokin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b067.html
__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

somewhere in Warzistan...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8459.html

wooden spoons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8460.html

news at eleven
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8461.html

what hurricane?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8462.html

playing with fire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8463.html

bowling, a contact sport
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8464.html

havin a milk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8465.html

A man went to have a tooth pulled, and the dentist
said, "I will need to give you an anesthetic."
The man said, "No, I don't need anything. Just pull the tooth."
The dentist said, "You won't be able to withstand the pain!"
The man said, "I have been through excruciating pain
twice in my life. Just pull the tooth."
The dentist pulled the tooth, and the man didn't even
flinch. The dentist said, "If pain experience left you
with that pain tolerance, I would like to know about it."
The man said, "I went on a hunting trip with three
other men, and we stayed in a cabin. We hunted Monday,
Tuesday, and Wednesday, and when Thursday came, all were
tired but me...so I went out by myself. When I got about
four miles from the cabin, on snow-covered ground, I
realized I had to 'do my business.' Knowing I couldn't
make it back to the cabin, I decided to go right there.
I tucked behind a tree and dropped my pants and squatted
down to go. I didn't see the trap under the snow cover,
and when I squatted, my privates dropped in the trap and
tripped it, and it slammed shut on them."
The dentist said, "Wow! If that was the first time,
when was the second experience?"
The man replied, "When I ran out of chain on the trap."
___________

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish.
By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat,
the waiter comes back and says, "Sir, I'm afraid there
has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is
sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours
and he usually orders the same dish. The problem is this
is the last chicken in the house. I'm afraid I'll have
to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish
for you!" The guy gets really upset and refuses to give
up his food. The waiter walks over to the other table
and explains the situation to the officer. A few minutes
later the officer walks over to the man's table and says,
"Listen and listen good. That is MY chicken you are about
to eat and I'll warn you, whatever you do to that chicken
I'll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs,
I'll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings,
I'll break one of your arms!" The man calmly looks at the
chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird's rectum,
pulls it out and licks it. He then gets up, drops his pants,
bends over and says, "Go ahead!"
_____________

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space

I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell
 Except for maybe "go to hell"
____________

A guy comes home from work early and finds his wife
laying naked in bed. "What are you doing in bed this
time of the day?" he asks.She replies, "I ate some Mexican
and now I have a stomach ache so I thought I would lay
down for a while.""Hey, where in the hell did this cigar
come from," he shouts.From under the bed a voice says,
"Havana, Senor!"
__________

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a
place." -- Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women
are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
-- Robert DE Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting
that many men are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's
the problem?" -- Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines,
because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me
somebody naked." -- Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a
woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a
penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
-- Robin Williams
_____________

BUFFALO BILL

Spitz Hound
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81819.htm

Sex with the witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81820.htm

Stay off the pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81821.htm
__________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

 

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 11-29

 

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I want to express my extreme thanks to those of you that have
helped with the Let's Bring Em Home Program. I know many
of you forwarded the requests to your friends and that many of
you donated air miles and money. Here is the current status.

56 tickets completed
Donations received: $47,304.08
Miles donated: 255,000
Number of donors: 611
Amount still needed: $9,169.38

This is awesome considering it isn't even the 1st of Dec. yet but
it sure would be nice to see double or triple that number get
tickets
to spend the holidays with their families. If you finish your
shopping
and find you have a little extra, please think about donating.

http://www.lbeh.org/?help

Speaking about the Emergency Broadcast System, I still remember the
Conelrad civil defense symbols on the AM dial. They also had an air
raid siren in town that if you heard it other than at curfew time,
2200,
you knew you were in deep doodoo. We were 8 miles away from the
Locks which was a primary target, along with the Radar Base which
was
three miles away. My dad brought home Army Civil Defense manuals
from work and I knew from way too much information that Duck and
Cover wasn't going to help you one bit. I still think if that went
off in the middle
of the night I would need a change of underwear. Fortunately after a

month or two of not being vaporized you get over it and get back to
being a kid.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smoking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diary of a Smoker-Quitting
This Sucks

Day One: Shit.

Day One again only the next day:
Have tried to kill husband twice.
Decide against washing dishes
as always have cigarette when done.
Same for bathroom.
Am suddenly thinking this has upside.
Eating dried fruit, apricots, pears, and brown things that look like
squished
roaches, which remind me of doobie roaches, which remind me of
cigarettes. Watch
husband light a cigarette; look at him pitifully. Eat leftover beans
from last
night - that'll show him. Walk by computer and wave occasionally.
Can't sit and
write or surf as this has been main smoking area. It's about four-o'
clock now;
I could have just one, I could have just one, I could have just one.
That's Mr.
Nicotine. He lives with me; 'he' could be a chick, but frankly,
right now, I
don't frigging care. Decide to play fantasy game on Playstation.
Spend next
three hours breeding Chocobos so game hero can save world. World
doomed in my
opinion.

Day two, morning:
Woke up two hours earlier than usual.
Great; two extra hours of fencing practice
with the RJ Reynolds Company and spawn.
Seriously considering finding some hallucinogens as never had desire
for
nicotine during a really good walk through a wall. Woke up six times
during
night to pee because I drank four gallons of water "to assist my
system flush
poison." Am feeling unusually testy as result of lack of sleep and
deep-seated
oral fixation fantasies. Decide to either kill or have sex with mail
carrier
when post arrives. Probably both.

Day 2, afternoon:
See husband off to airport for business trip.
Clean closets. Nothing new in mail.
Did all laundry out of necessity -
body of dead mail carrier would not fit in dryer otherwise.
Put in extra dryer sheets
(Arm and Hammer, biodegradable.)
Decide to take walk.
Meet neighbor who asks if mail came yet.
She is smoking a cigarette.
I tell her no out of spite.

Day 3, morning:
Go through dead man's mail bag;
keep catalogues for joyous Christmas shopping.
Feed rest down garbage disposal.

Day 3, Afternoon:
Call garbage disposal repair.

Day 4: Receive visitor.
Police looking for missing mail carrier -
received anonymous tip from garbage disposal repair person. Make
coffee and
offer fat-free cookies and dried fruit. Arrange dried fruit to make
smiley faces
on plate. Police officer asks if I mind if he smokes. Burst in to
tears.
Confess.

Day 472:
Sentenced to death in murder of Postal Employee.
( Federal crime.)

Day 478:
Beaten by seven large women in prison
for having no cigarettes to trade.
Able to sing better now; make up prison blues songs.

Day 552:
Receive divorce papers:
husband marrying tobacco heiress.
Cell-mate offers to have ex husband whacked.
Wants twelve cartons of cigarettes
and one pair Doc Marten boots.
Decide husband will live as price too steep.

Day 558:
Secure two cartons of cigarettes for payment
to cell-mate to have defense attorney whacked.
Feel better.

Day 691:
Served last meal - minister asks if
anything wanted at last moments.
Think back to how good cigarette after meals used to be. Request one
last smoke.
Minister reluctant, no smoking in federal building, but sneaks one
in. Sit back,
relax, smoke. Ahhhhh. Feel slightly dizzy, giddy, euphoric. Warden
enters cell
excitedly; Governor issues full pardon due to new Federal "It Takes
a Village"
crimes statute: allows for defense appeal of insanity by reason of
severe
nicotine withdrawal.

Day 1: Shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

go run
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b050.html

the feud
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b051.html

not my clit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b052.html

Ex-lax Advert
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Expensive Wheels
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Explore Down Under
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pelosi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A cow suddenly jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the
car comes to a stop. Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to
the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.' The
chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but
it was old.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Nancy.

Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair
ruffled with a big grin on his face.

'My God, what happened to you?' asks Nancy.

The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best
bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the
daughter made love to me.' 'What on earth did you say?' asks Nancy.
'I just knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to
them: 'I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old
cow.'

Gordon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Russian Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily
ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in
English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real
problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She
didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation,
clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.
Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know
how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her
blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again
and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find
a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the
store.......Her husband speaks English!

What were you Thinking?

Harold

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heartwarming Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a
little 4-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make
you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child
the
gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty
lot.

The young family's 4-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in
all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day
observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough,"
more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted
with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch
breaks, and gave her 20 little jobs to do here and there to make her
feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay
envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to
her
mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd
received to the bank the next day to start a savings account...

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally
impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own
pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied,
"I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new
house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working
on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot
ever
deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

Mike

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get the hottest Pet Stocking stuffer for under $10 and be a hit!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prison Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row.
The Warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head."
Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."
They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing.
The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with
this guy. Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those
shots," so the guards did.

Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he
doubled
over.
Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

"You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
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Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Watch Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young Jew and an old Jew are riding on a bus
in Jerusalem.

The young Jew asks, "Excuse me, sir, what time
is it?"

The old Jew doesn't answer.

"Excuse me, sir," the young Jew asks again,
"what time is it?"

The old Jew looks up him, but still doesn't
answer.

The young Jew is puzzled, "Sir, forgive me for
interrupting you all the time, but I really
want to know what time it is. Why won't you
answer me?"

The old Jew turns toward the young man and says,
"Son, the next stop is the last on this route.
I don't know you, so you must be a stranger to
this land. If I answer you now, according to
Jewish tradition, I must invite you to my
home. You're handsome and I have a beautiful
daughter. You would fall in love with her and
you'd want to get married. And tell me, why
would I want a son-in-law who can't even afford
a fucking watch?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get the hottest Stocking stuffer for under $10 and be a hit!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/I Stand
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/Sta.html

Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html

ANGEL AT THE DOOR Via Carol
http://home.att.net/~mcp3_2000/_classics/002/angel.htm

The Stars We See
http://www.poetryinfocus.com/Poetry/Poem192.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.

And here's everything they don't want you to know...

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Surfin Surfari

Nutcracker Museum Via Dianne
http://www.nutcrackermuseum.com/

National Traffic and Road Closure Information
http://www.fhwa.dot.gov/trafficinfo/

Snow and Ice data
http://www-nsidc.colorado.edu/index.html

Christmas Facts!
http://www.luvscreations.com/holiday_facts.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Free online Trojan Scanner - Scan your system for Trojans
http://www.windowsecurity.com/trojanscan/

Digital On-line Canvas
http://tinyurl.com/5ltup

Prio - Process Priority Saver. Free for personal use.
http://tinyurl.com/cu8gjt

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyanimals.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.cathouse-fcc.org/chineseleopard.html

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Here is some more information about this new way to watch
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Movie Links

Sir Edmund
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81814.htm

Smoke Inhalation
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81815.htm

Sneeze Aivastus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81816.htm

Sorry Sir no bathing suits in the lobby
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81817.htm

Sorry Officer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81818.htm

Exam
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34t.htm

Future Engineers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9o7.htm

Glock Home Protection
http://www.buffaloschips.com/78i6.htm

Gunfighter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/i7664.htm

Guterbike
http://www.buffaloschips.com/u64eh.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do you get your husband interested in oral sex?
Douche with beer.

What do you call a gay gentleman from the Deep South?
A homo-sex-y'all.

Hear about the new gay sitcom?
Leave it, it's Beaver.

Why is sex is like software?
For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.

What's the most active muscle in a woman ?
The penis.

What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.

What's the definition of a vicious circle?
A pussy with teeth.

How can you tell if a woman really likes oral sex?
She hikes up her skirt every time someone yawns.

How do you get a woman off during sex?
Push her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Holiday Season be a hit and steal the show with the Spinbot!

Battle friends and family and enjoy hours of fun!

See the video for yourself,

http://buffaloschips.com/spin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Painting
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30813.htm

Can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30812.htm

Booty call
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30814.htm

Pantie lock
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30815.htm

Amazon.com
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30816.htm

Show Girl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30817.htm

Sperm Bank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30818.htm

Big Daddy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30819.htm

Best Catch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30820.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smoke Assist

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smoke smell on your clothes, in your home or work.

Get the Smoke Assist E-Cigarette at no charge with the purchase of
20 cartridges and S&H

View Website

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seemed all was well for old Bill
For the night was romantic and still.
She was warm, she was waiting,
She was ripe for the mating
But alas--she was not on the pill.

An alluring but cranky au pair
Was arrested for lethal child care...
The kid was a pain
So she opened his vein,
But swears that he tripped on a stair.

A cannibal chef from Botswana
Said, "Oh it would be sheer Nirvana,
If only I could,
In full babyhood,
Saute an hors d'oeuvre from Montana."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Indoor Potty Pad

Prevent pet accidents in your home with Pet Zoom Pet Park. It's made
of a synthetic grass like surface that prevents stains and rinses
clean in seconds. Unlike dripping newspapers and expensive wee wee
pads, Pet Zoom Pet Park's reusable surface stays fresh and sanitary.
Use it for training puppies to special needs dogs to long days at
the office.

Protect your upholstery and flooring with Pet Zoom Pet Park.

View Website

http://buffaloschips.com/potty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When a woman in my office became engaged,

a colleague offered her some advice. "The first

ten years are the hardest," she said.
"How long have you been married?" I asked.
"Ten years," she replied.

- - - - -

This couple had been going out together for

quite a while and was thinking about getting

married. They finally decided to spend a night
in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible.
The next morning he dropped her off at her

apartment and he said, "So long Lucy."
She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."

- - - - -

The young Swedish au pair had been working

for the Schmitts for more than a year. While

hardworking and efficient, she still struggled
with English.
One day she told Mrs. Schmitt that she had

received good news from her boyfriend Sven.

"He is coming visit me from army next week!"
"That's wonderful," the woman replied. "How

long is his furlough?"
"Oh," the young woman said, "about long as

Mr. Schmitt's. Maybe little thicker."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Big Top Cupcake- Giant Cake Sized Cupcakes

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than regular cupcakes. Get bakery results without the high prices.
Just fill, bake and decorate.

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Order Now

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's
voice from the kitchen. "What would you like for dinner Love?
Chicken, beef or lamb?" He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."

"Fuck You. YOU'RE having soup. I was talking to the dog."

Gordon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rejuvenate Auto is the newest and most advanced way to clean and
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shines & restores your finish in only 15 minutes!

Benefits:
- Instantly Fills In Swirl Marks & Minor Scratches
- Safe For ALL Finishes
- Uses NO Water & NEVER Scratches
- Makes Paint Look Brand New
- Protects Your Car
- Saves you Money
Get the complete package for only $9.99 + Free Bonus! (That's $100
value!)

http://buffaloschips.com/cwash

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
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