Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that
the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
About six hours later, he goes to his wife and says, "Honey,
you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before I die."
She says, "Of course, dear," and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. Morris,
however, worried about his impending death,tosses and turns until he's
down to 4 more hours. "He taps his wife, who rouses.
"Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could…"
At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris,
enough is enough… I have to get up in the morning, you don't."
______________

And it came to pass that an angel came up to three newly-dead
men and said - "You are all to be allocated a method for transportation
around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds,
and will have your transport chosen accordingly."
The angel looked at the first guy, Dave, and said- "You, Dave,
were a bad man in life. You cheated on your wife four times! For
this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat-up Dodge."
The angel next looked at the second guy, Jon, and said- "You were
not as sinful, but you still cheated on your wife twice. For this,
you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon."
The angel finally looked at our hero, Sam, and said- "You, Sam,
have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage,
and you never cheated on your wife. For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."
A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's
Ferrari. There he is, sitting on the bonnet, his head in his hands, crying.
"What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You're set forever! Why so down?"
Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth, and said, "I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard."
_______________

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came
upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.
Seeing this he inquired, 'Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you
doing?' 'I'm listening to the music of the tree,' the other man replied.
'You've gotta be kiddin' me.'
'No, would you like to give it a try?'
Understandably curious, the man says, 'Well, OK...' So he wrapped his
arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the
other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry,
car keys, then stripped him naked and left.
Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy
handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked,
'What the heck happened to you?'. He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.
When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in
sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and
said, 'This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake...'
_______________

FUN PAGES

The Only Cure For Hate
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43062&s=n

The Woman He Feels
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43063&s=n

The Good Sex Guide
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43040&s=n

Offensive Jokes, Volume 1
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43506&s=n

How Rumors Get Started
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43635&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net *To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to: PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com *To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to: PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com *PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner (Follow instructions)

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

No comments:

YouTube/Music

Report Abuse