Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I got an official looking letter from the government this weekend
and since I am too old to be drafted and I got people if I get
audited on my taxes I figured it was safe to open it. It was from
the EPA accusing me and everyone over 55 of being major contributors
to global warming. The source, they claim, is all of the
candles on our birthday cakes. They may be right as there are a
lot of people, almost 8% of the population born in April and
I have noticed that the snow does seem to melt pretty fast in April.
Anyhow they are levying a tax of a dollar a candle which means
now I got another 59.00 a year in taxes to pay even if I decide to
put LED candles on my cakes, although there is a one time deduction
for energy efficient candles.
The one thing they didn't explain was what they were going to use
the money they collected for, and as you can probably guess that
this is a really large of money probably in the billions with all of
those
baby boomers running around. It took me all night on Google and
reading the Congressional Record to find the amendment that was
attached to the 2010 Global Warming Act. The money is being
used to create a 100 refrigerated Holiday Inn Expresses for Polar
Bears in the Bering Sea. They will be fed meals of Salmon Sushi and
Arctic Seals prepared by chefs that have been kicked off of one of
those reality shows.
I thought about it for awhile and we haven't done much for polar
bears or bi-polar bears for that matter so they probably deserve
free hots and a cot as much as anyone. Then it came to mind that
some of those bears came from Siberia and others come from the North
Pole, and there are
probably some that are Canadian too. I don't mind helping American
Bears during these hard times but why should I be giving food and
housing to Russian Bears. To make matters worse I heard that Russian
Bears carry nuclear weapons so they better have the bears prove
their nationality before giving them my money.
I have been receiving birthday greetings by IM, by e-mail, on Facebook
and even snail mail and it is good to remember once a year just how
many friends I have, including a few that I have not been as nice as I
could
have been with and some I haven't seen since high school graduation.
Either I made a nice impression on them or they are waiting to see what
I
will do next. Whatever the reason I want to tell everyone who sent
wishes,
thanks for being my friend whatever the reason. I hope your life is as
long and as much fun as mine. I love you all.... buffalo
scream~>scream~>scream~>scream~>scream~> scream~>
SCREAM OF THE CROP JOKES
Jokes famous quotations superstitions word & phrase origins and hilarity
The BEST fun emailed free 3 times weekly.
Read a sample at http://www.screamofthecrop.com
TO SUBSCRIBE send a blank mailto:
scream_of_the_crop-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
scream~>scream~>scream~>scream~>scream~>scream~>
and
C's Place Too
A small group where you can post coupon forms,
small gift items, craft items for sale freebies
and information on saving money.
No adult content is allowed.
Join at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/csplacetoo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Extended Service no obligation quote.
Get the extra protection you and your family need on
the road right here:
http://buffaloschips.com/mtce
Cover most vehicle with less than 125,000 miles and
less than 10 years old.
Also includes:
- 24-Hour Roadside Assistance
- Car Rental Benefits.
- Trip Interruption Benefit.
- Extended Towing Benefits
Go here for details:
http://buffaloschips.com/mtce
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when
in walks a nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat.
Astonished, one of them says, "I went to my parents wedding last
week and we all got wasted." The nun continues to eat even though
she obviously heard the exchange. Being quick on the uptake the
second one says, "My dad says he will marry my mother next year."
Despite this the nun stays right where she is. Eager to get a
response from the nun, the third one says, "My old man will never
EVER marry my mother!" The nun looks up from her food and says,
"Would one of you fucking bastards please pass the salt?"
An old Italian couple is walking around in the mall.
After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first
saleswoman she sees and asks, "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony.
He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The
saleswoman answers that she hasn't seen her husband. So the Italian
woman goes to ask another saleswoman: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me
Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" "No,
I'm sorry maam, I haven't seen your husband." The Italian woman goes
to see one more saleswoman and asks, "Escusa me, have you senn-a me
Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The
saleswoman answers, "Yes I saw him, he ran out of here
licketysplit." "No no no, thatsa not-a my Tony. He pinch-a the bum,
grab-a the breasts...but he no lickety split!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
pulling ouy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i006.html
how come
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i007.html
bad dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i008.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cannibal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some Cannibal Shorties
* Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other:"Does
this taste
funny to you?"
* Two cannibals were sitting beside the fire after a sumptuous meal.
One turned
to the other and siad:"Your wife sure makes a good roast."
"Yeah, I'm really going to miss her."
* What is the title of the best-selling cannibal book?
"How To Serve Your Fellow Man."
* What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
* A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the
waiter.
* Did you hear about the cannibal student who was suspended from
school for
buttering up his teacher?
* Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant where dinner costs an
arm and a
leg?
* Two cannibals were eating dinner. One said:"I really hate my
sister."
The other said:"Well, just eat the noodles."
* What do cannibals do at a wedding?
They toast the bride and groom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lasik New Year SpecialStarts as low as 299USD per eye
Go here for more information.
The Lasik Vision InstituteBetter Vision. Better Value.
Go here for more information.
Starts as low as 299USD per eye*
Life Changing
FDA Approved
Use your FSA/HSA funds
Great Financing Available
800,000 Procedures Performed
Nationwide Locations
Safe and Easy for Less
Schedule Your Evaluation at No Cost Now
Visit here
http://buffaloschips.com/lasiks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bad Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BAD:
It's "So Bad" out there!!!
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So,
the guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the
people who made $750 billion disappear!!!!
The economy is so bad:
CEO's are now playing miniature golf and Flying Model Planes!!.
Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration
aren't paying their taxes.
Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE,
Pfeizer and Citigroup.
PETA serves chicken wings at their meetings
McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer
People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children's names
A truck of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico
The most highly-paid job is now jury duty
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting
People in Africa are donating money to Americans
Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate, do
you know how many kids are starving in the US ?"
Motel Six wont leave the light on
The Mafia is laying off judges
There is a new program on the Discovery Channel called Mounted
in Alaska. I hear it is the story of how Palin made Governor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tired of paying way too much for your ink and toner?
Then you're in luck, because at ClickInks we're obsessed with saving you
money! With our buy 2, get 1 free offer on select cartridges, free
shipping on orders over $49, and a 100% money back guarantee you've got
nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!
Get an extra 10% off by entering "SAVINGS10" at checkout!
Just visit http://buffaloschips.com/clink to start saving!
We're looking forward to hearing from you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ticket Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite
had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having
parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that
read "No Stoping."
Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing
letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the
law. Brandishing a Webster's dictionary, he noted that stoping
means:
"Extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground."
"Your Honor", said the man, "I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn't
extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be
dismissed."
Acknowledging that the defendant hadn't done any illegal mining, the
judge declared the man not guilty and commented, "Since this is
Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I'll turn you loose."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
See Everything In High Definition Color And Clarity
HD Aviators are the fashionable new sunglasses featuring built in high
definition technology at a price everyone can afford. Now you'll be
able to protect your eyes while still getting the color, clarity and
high definition you want. Like no other glasses you have ever worn.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/jklll
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes running into a sex shop to return his blow-up doll. He
says to the owner, "Excuse me, but I blew this doll up last night
and
straight away she went down on me. I want my $50 back."
The owner says, "Hell, if I'd have known she was going to do that,
I'd have charged you $75."
I met a girl whose breasts were growing out of her back. She was
pretty funny looking, but she was great to dance with!
The rude redhead was on a blind date set up by a friend. He
disgusted
her - he had bad teeth, and was fairly dirty.
"Wow," he said, "when I was told that you were fiery, I didn't
realize they meant you were a redhead."
"Wow," she replied tartly, "I didn't realize that when they said you
were under six feet, they meant that's where they dug you up from."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISH Network Plans starting at $24.99/mo
Why would you ever pay more?
Get the best deal in TV!
12-months w/24 month agreement
Find out if your zip code qualifies for this special internet offer
http://buffaloschips.com/dnw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/He Walked
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp2/He.html
Rick w/~Mary Don't You Weep and Mourn
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/MaryWeep.html
John w/ An Easter Poem
http://soloshideawayfunpages.com/_special/003/poem.htm
Last Day!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/lastday.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Kate, a 42 year old mother of 3 had tried
every diet out there with only temporary success.
After losing weight on the HCG diet, she has kept
off the 45 pound weight loss for almost 4 YEARS!
She went from a size 14 to a size 3!
It's time to change your body.
It's time to take control of your weight
and feel amazing results!
See why everyone is clamoring to get their HCG order in.
HERE NOW!
http://buffaloschips.com/hcg
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Russian Imperial Faberge Eggs via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/2w984w
Diabetes Awareness
http://www.diabetes.org/alert
Giethoorn - The Venice Of Holland
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gvillage.html
Pysanky Easter Eggs
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eastereggs.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
http://buffaloschips.com/comptv
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Windows Movie Maker
http://tinyurl.com/dy6gpp
Free E-Book Reader
http://www.fbreader.org/
#-D For Everyone
http://sketchup.google.com/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
http://buffaloschips.com/fat
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Ostional Sea Turtles
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seaturtle.html
Koala Twins!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/koalatwins.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.
Press here if you are interested:
http://buffaloschips.com/fhwn
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
3rd World Bomb Squad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/61627.htm
ICTV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6241.htm
Leno Photo Booth
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6242.htm
Texas Shootout
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6243.htm
The Interview
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6244.htm
The Big Man Where Are You
http://www.buffaloschips.com/6245.htm
Remote
http://www.buffaloschips.com/weredo.htm
Rocket Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsxd.htm
Rubber Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ewdsdcs.htm
She's Got You
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfgh.htm
Skeleton Dance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vsdas.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Movie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jenny, an aspiring young actress, made the rounds of producers'
offices for months before finally landing a part in a police movie.
The first day's shooting called for her to be thrown from a speeding
car and tumble into a stack of garbage cans.
On the second day, she was set on fire and thrown from a third floor
window.
On the third day, she was beat up by the villain and dumped into the
sewage-laden river.
Wearily, she dragged herself from the water and limped to the
production office.
"Listen," she managed to stammer. "Who do I have to sleep with to
get
out of this movie?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ceremony
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jghdkgjdfg.htm
champagne
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kbjkcvbvck,b.htm
charm toon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfkljlkg.htm
charmin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhkljfgklg.htm
cheap
http://www.buffaloschips.com/knflkd.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aluma Wallet - As Seen On TV!
The Aluminum Wallet!
Finally Fashion meets Function!
Buy 1 Get 1 FREE!
2 for Just $10.99!
Never worry about losing your valuables again!
Aluma Wallet Features:
Made of Die-Cast Aluminum Alloy
Ultra-Slim Outer Case
Waterproof to Keep your Valuables Dry
Compact Size is Great for both Men & Women
Nearly Indestructible!
Aluma Wallet is the Smart & Safe choice for both Men & Women!
Not Available in Stores an Online Exclusive!
Order Now:
http://buffaloschips.com/aluma
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a man from Calcutta,
who liked to beat off in the gutter,
the heat of the street
melted his meat
and turned his cream into butter.
There was a young man with a prick
Which into his wife he would stick
Every morning and night
If it stood up all right --
Not a very remarkable trick.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
** Top Ten Signs That You're Not Romantic **
10. You ask the waiter for a seat near the kitchen so it
minimizes the time it takes for your food to arrive.
9. She doesn't like the "I'm The Property of Jason" t-shirt
you got her for your anniversary.
8. You take your date out for dinner that consists of a
coupon for free nachos and half price on drinks.
7. Her candlelight dinners really irritate you 'cause it's
so hard to read the sport's page while eating.
6. You apologize with a dozen dandelions.
5. After a romantic dinner, you offer to do the dishes by
letting the dog lick the plates.
4. You consider pig latin the "language of love".
3. Some say it with flowers, you say it with sparkplugs.
2. When your boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed,
you said, "Shhh!... talk to me during the commercial."
1. "I thought cubic zirconium looked prettier than real
diamonds."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2017
Meanwhile Back at the Ranch
Tami and Rudy are feeling no pain when they
enter the super-hot volcano Chili tent.
Tami quietly asks: Which chili is the most hot?
Nobody has dared taste it. Look at the bowl.
The bowl was being disolved by the chili inside.
Rudy: I think we need to skip that one Miss Tami.
Tami: Here is one called Habanero special. What is
habanero?
Rudy: Don't know, but we can try it.
A couple of minutes later....
Tami/Rudy: Mother!! Give me something to drink now!!!
Someone hands them more beer.
They chug it down.
Tami: More!!
Rudy: More!!
Chug chug
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment