Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner! for Sunday

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But,
somehow I always had something else to take care of
first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always
something more important to me. Finally she thought
of a clever way to make her point.When I arrived home
one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I
watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came
out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you
finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
driveway." And then the fight started...........
________________

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note
of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years,"
the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove,
table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time."
"One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying
several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert,
"It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast.
Now I do it in seven."
__________________

When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven.
"Sorry, old man," Peter said, "But I can't let you in. You see
the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back
in 1978 -- You took the Lord's name in vain during a golf game."
"Oh, yes. I'll never forget that one, and I'm terribly sorry
Peter, but I can explain...", the old golfer blithered.
"Well," said Peter, "You'll have to take it up with The Big Guy."
So Peter led the old golfer down a long golden hallway, to G-d's office.
"We've got another code 6 here, sir! Says he can explain..."
"So," booms God, "You've been taking my name in vain."
"Only once, your Almighty, Sir. But I can explain!"
"OK. Try me, " replied the Lord. "Well you see sir, I was playing
my best game of golf ever, and I made it to the 18th hole, and
I'd win the tournament if I could just make par on this hole.
I made my shot from the tee, and it was sailing beautifully, when
suddenly the wind shifted, and took my ball off into the woods, and
right behind this enormous oak tree..."
"And that's when you took my name in vain?"
"Oh, no, sir! I just took out my 6 iron and knocked that ball
clear out of the woods with one swing! It was gliding beautifully
toward the green, when suddenly it lost speed, and dropped into a
sand trap, right smack in the middle of a deep hole
"So, that is when you took my name in vain?"
"No, not then. I just took out my nine, and with one swing,
drove that ball right onto the green, and it rolled within two
inches of the hole..."
"Don't tell me you missed a goddamn two inch putt!"',
________________

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter
was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and
adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth
control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the
woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying,
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

FUN PAGES

Rino Unicorn
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41410&s=n

Moon Rider
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=37207&s=n

Jessica Alba's Got Milk Photo
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20498&s=n

Paper Airplane Flight Simulator
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42158&s=n
___________

BUFFALO BILL

First Day At The Rifle Range
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghjkillo.htm

First IT Consultant
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdfde.htm

Fishing Boat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdrese.htm

Fitness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdss.htm

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner! for Sunday

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