THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane
every night of our lives.~Charles Fisher
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I was watching one of those tv shows where they were evaluating
tv products. The one in this episode was the so called "awesome auger."
That is the one where Billy Mays hawks an attachment for your power
drill and you use it to dig holes for flowers and plants and etc for
your garden. Essentially, the decision was that it was a good product,
but you had to pay extra for an exstension, then you had to pay extra
for shipping, and yadda yadda. Suddenly that cheap 19.95$ cheap price
was kindof pricy. Back in the day, I remember on the farm, when momma
was ready to plant her garden. She would have a couple acres of sweet
corn, and another few acres committed to potatos, tomatos and etc.
But she had it easy. Daddy simply got out the B john deer, hooked up a
two bottom plow, turned the soil over, and then had the disc to break it
up into fine, great soil that would make Billy proud. When it came to the
sweet corn, usually daddy just got the planter out, hooked it up to the
tractor, filled the boxes up with sweet corn seed, and went out to the
field and made a couple rounds with the tractor. He used to say that
you had to plant at least five acres of sweet corn, three for the coons,
and two for us. These days, who
has time for a huge garden like that? Is it really necessary to have a
power hole digger? With our house, our lot is no bigger than about
100 by 40 feet. Still, with all her tulips, merigolds, petunias, and
wild flowers, the war department still manages to spend a great deal of
time digging in the dirt. I am not so crazy about the wild flowers.
We considered most of that stuff to be weeds when I grew up on the farm.
But her efforts do make the place purdy with the other flowers are
worthwhile. Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat, our resident chihuahua,
seems not to care one way or another. He likes to explore through the
flower beds to find new places for his business, much to the chagrin
of the war department. But the amazing thing, she does it all without
the benefit of a awesome auger. A little bit of sweat and work can
accomplish just as much as a awesome auger. And Turk says the results show
you don't really need one anyway:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
Bill Gates
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f010.html
a small gift
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f011.html
t shirt says it all
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f012.html
the back door
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f013.html
with a b...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f014.html
its a baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f015.html
you're history
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f016.html
sci fi reality
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f017.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
return to Makin Island
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5633.html
Budlight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5634.html
Paul Hunt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5635.html
____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
the 100 greatest military photographs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2381.html
insolites
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2382.html
a farewell letter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2383.html
Mustangs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2384.html
The economy is so bad--
1. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.
2. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
4. Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars are now trading higher than GM.
5. Obama met with small businesses - GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup
and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.
6. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
7. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
8. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
9. People in Africa are donating money to Americans.. Mothers in
Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate; do you know
how many kids are starving in the US?"
10. Motel Six won't leave the lights on.
___________
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson
looked out the window. "Goodness!" he screamed, "one of the engines just blew up!"
Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the
aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on
the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the
stewardesses couldn't maintain order. Just then, standing tall and
smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured
everyone that there was nothing to worry about.
His words and his demeanor seemed to make most of the passengers feel
better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the
aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and
began handing them to the flight attendants.
Each crew member attached the package to their backs.
"Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't those parachutes?"
The pilot said they were. The passenger went on, "But I thought you
said there was nothing to worry about?"
"There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded.
"We're going to get help."
_____________
A guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour
when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs
his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a
menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?'
The poor little guy starts crying..
'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says.
'I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying.'
'This is the worst day of my life,' says the little guy between sobs.
'I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an
important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot,
I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the
gardener and my dog bit me.
So, I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my
life, and then you show up and drink the darn poison.
___________
SEXUAL RIDDLES
Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
A. Goes-in-tight!
Q. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A. Gagged!
Q. What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A. A tearjerker.
Q. Define "Egghead"
A. What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
Q. How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?
A. By sticking your finger in his honey.
Q. Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
A. Cowboys like to eat with their hats on
_____________
Peter was in bed with his best friend's wife. Just as things were
reaching a climax he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed,
holding his head in his hands.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" his partner asked.
"I feel just like a regular son-of-a-bitch for getting my best friend's
woman," the man moaned.
"Well," she soothed, patting his back, "you can stop worrying. You're
not getting his woman. His woman is five inches deeper."
________
BUFFALO Bill
Lunch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahuio.htm
Lynx Air
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akjio.htm
Making A Good Taliban
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfrf.htm
_________
PAPA Thorn
Big Splash
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=SPLASH!
Tightrope
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=sports0013
Terraforming
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=terraforming.jpg
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Garfield - Stealing Cookies
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001649.html
Dead Battery
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001650.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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